btc8 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hello, Ok, so I just met this guy online (pay attention to the word 'just'..its sense of meaning will become clearer imminently), and for the past week we've been exchanging emails and then texts, and I was looking forward to meeting him. So we did. We had coffee yesterday, and, for the most part, it was okay. I say that rather noncommittally, as I felt like the one who was doing the majority of the conversation. It was rather uncomfortable and difficult to hold a conversation with. So, a bit afterward, he sends me a text saying he had a great time and that we should do it again. I thought it would be impolite not to not send a reply, so I said, I had fun too. I didn't mention anything really about doing it again. But since this morning, he has been sending me IMs like crazy. He also texts like crazy. Eventually I responded to his IMs and he asked about my previous relationships, and in a nutshell, he asked why the last one ended. I said we were pretty much incompatible--to which he replied, "I hope that's not the case with me!!" Seriously, it was one date, and I really believe he thinks that we are going steady or something. He keeps texting, and I reply with certain responses that I believe are not really ones that you are easily 'repliable' , but he continues to text. Each time my phone vibrates I get these phantom pains. I mean, what is everyone's advice? Should I just ignore him totally, say to chill out, or give him a few more dates to see if it's worth it. At this point, it's been way too early for me to committ to anything. Thanks guys!!! -b Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I think what you do will depend upon what you want from him or out of your date. If there is no future dates for you two then just tell him that there was no connection with you and you hope he has success online and meets someone that connects with him. If you want more dates.. then just don't respond to any of his text messages and only talk with him on the phone.. when you do tell him about how fast or slow you would like to take it and tell him you don't text.. then go out again... You are in total control of the speed.. if you tell him that is... Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Im not sure why you are even asking about him. You arent interested in him so whats to think about . Just tell him that you enjoyed your date, but arent looking for anything serious. I mean honestly, even though your answers may be vague, the point is you are still responding back. Just tell him not interested, and you would just like to be friends. thats it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alan430 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Just be upfront as another poster said. If he really is into you and you try "i had fun but not looking for anythign serious" types of lines, it may not get the results you want. I would go with i had fun, you seem like a great guy, but i just didnt have a connection with you. That way you get what you want and he can walk away with a little dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Best thing to do is tell him strait out "I'm not interested but thank you". Say it via text since that's the primary way you're being contacted here. If he won't let up, change your cell #. I had to do that recently with two people who were being a little too clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I read an article on MSN last night about "textual harassment." I'm partial to the website they linked to: http://www.thatsnotcool.com/CalloutCards.aspx I think the "stalker status" would be particularly effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author btc8 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 I read an article on MSN last night about "textual harassment." I'm partial to the website they linked to: http://www.thatsnotcool.com/CalloutCards.aspx I think the "stalker status" would be particularly effective. Those made my day! Thanks everyone for your advice. He emailed me this morning, still haven't responded. I think I'm just going to back off a bit, mainly because this guy is just way tooooooo clingy--I need space and we're not together. Jeez. Anyhow, thanks again!! -b Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 To reject anyone only requires several steps that might or might not be beneficial. Leave him hanging, or reply with a simple " sorry but I think we should just be friends", etc. or anything to that matter. It's only when someone can't take no for an answer that you resort to desperate measures of calling the police and asking for a restraint order. Link to post Share on other sites
jadelil25 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 If you are not interested then you need to send him a polite email to let him know. Just be honest and say even tho you had a good time you do not feel there is a connection and that you should leave things at that. Wish him all the luck in the future. That is all you need to do. Im sure that he will understand and the sooner you do it the better and easier it will be. That way he knows and you will not build his hopes up and also it means that he should leave you alone. Just rememeber to be polite, direct and honest. It will all be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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