moet70 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I was dating a guy for 6 weeks, he ended it two weeks ago saying he was not ready for a relationship, likes his solitude etc, I believe I just wasn't the one for him. We stayed friends and yesterday he sent me a txt " Happy Valentines Day x" I wrote back " valentines day sucks :-)" I asked him ( over sms) if he wanted to try again, he said he had thought seriously about it and the honest answer was no, that he felt he would just end up wanting to be on his own again.....sorry I got mad and sent him a nasty sms - very undignified. He sms later, you seem upset, I am out having a few beers with my mate, how about we try to get in somewhere for dinner for valentines and cheer you up. So we went for dinner, had a lovely night, went for icecream and coffee later, he paid $200 for dinner!! The whole night he was adament that he didn't want to take things further, but was keen to stay friends and said when you move into your new house let me know and I will help you shift. At the very end of the night we were talking about independent women, I asked him if in future I shouldn't tell men how much I earn, ( often a lot more than them) He said " a lot of men wouldn't welcome somone who earns twice as much as them, here they are busting their balls to try to get a little bit ahead and you swan in and earn double and you just got a payrise as well" I also mentioned " sometimes I dumb down for blokes, he said " why didn't you dumb down for me?" Do you think this maybe the reason he dumped me? We get along famously, not one issue in the six weeks we dated and physically very attracted. Anyway I dropped him off at home, peck on the cheek good night and "see you soon" YOur thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
avacakes Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Honestly, I think I would try to move on. If he doesn't want a relationship, then you're not ever going to be able to convince him otherwise. It sounds like he does want to be friends, but If you still have feelings for him that is going to be very hard for you. It was nice that he took you out, but I would be wary of his intentions. And if he was so insecure that he broke up with you because you make more money than him?? well....do you really want that kind of guy in your life? You could prob be friends with him down the road...but for now, I say let him go and don't try to figure him out. Trust me, staying in contact with an ex who told you he doesn't want a realtionship with you is not good for your self esteem...(personal experience) going thru that now....not fun! good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 " a lot of men wouldn't welcome somone who earns twice as much as them, here they are busting their balls to try to get a little bit ahead and you swan in and earn double and you just got a payrise as well" I also mentioned " sometimes I dumb down for blokes, he said " why didn't you dumb down for me?" Uh, yeah - and how many MEN just "SWIM IN" and earn double what women make? There is very little equality when it comes to women being able to earn what men do. I don't understand why it's perfectly okay for a man to make a lot of money, but if a woman does, she must have gotten to that position easily. I'm sure it took a lot of work for you to get where you're at. His comment was insulting. And you shouldn't settle for a guy that wants you to "dumb down" for him. IMO - he's not good enough for you if he can't match you at your own level. Don't "dumb down" for anybody. I'd be proud to be at your position - keep up the good work. Seriously. You're rocking the professional world and you deserve the kudos and a man that can appreciate you for YOU. As a side note - completely unrelated...where I'm working, I look up on the wall and there are 6 pictures of the high-ups in this company. Only one is a woman and you know what? She's the lowest of the 6 and she's in it most likely because her family started this whole thing. I'm not failing to give her credit because I know she has her own accomplishments (she was considered for Obama's cabinet and was actually one of the VIPs mentioned at his inauguration). But it just goes to show - it's not that easy to get there if you're a woman. Enjoy your position! Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I really wouldn't get hung up on the money thing, that isn't an issue to most people, certainly not this guy. It does sound like he is a really nice guy who likes you a lot and wants to be friends, but just isn't wanting a relationship with you. My advice , keep him as a friend and enjoy each others friendship without wanting it to go further. Friends can be good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moet70 Posted February 15, 2009 Author Share Posted February 15, 2009 Thanks wuggle, I sent him an sms today "thank you for taking care of me last night" he wrote straight back " no probs I had a great night" Link to post Share on other sites
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