Britney23 Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 My boyfriend of one year went on a boys trip to Japan for just over 2 weeks and he comes back tomorrow but I'm not excited about seeing him. In fact its the opposite feeling and I'm not sure if I am just being a sensitive female or if I have a right to feel this way so was hoping people could give me some insight? We agreed that we wouldnt call each other whilst he was away because it was expensive so we would just text. The reason I am not excited about seeing him because during the time he has been away he has hardly initiated contact (like maybe 3 times) and I feel like I am more emotionally vested into the relationship because I need to hear from him everyday. He replies everytime so thats not an issue. Then I felt maybe I was been clingy because it wasnt really detailed messages just brief 'just been catching up with friends, miss you, love you' type thing. So I would wait for him to initiate it and I would be waiting for 3 days for that to happen. Its not that I am insecure because I know he loves me and misses me but I just expected to hear from at least once a day or every second day, so when I didnt I felt as though he was letting me down and I was disappointed with him. Is that fair? I havent told him how I feel because its hard to communicate properly via text and I dont want him to tell his guy friends who would say I was been needy and insecure. Should I even bring it up when I see him next? I know he's not a mind reader but I dont know if I'm making a big deal over nothing. Oh and last night he msgd me after 3 days of no contact to say 'hope i get to see you when I land, miss you.' And I replied and told him that I loved him but he never wrote 'i love you' back! that just disappoints me yet again! am I being too sensitive?? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Yes. Sensitive and clingy. Don't you have a life without him? Letting yourself become so emotionally joined at the hip with someone to the extent that if you don't hear from them when you want/expect, you get panic symptoms, is both unhealthy and undesirable. The secret of being in a successful relationship is to be able to give the other person space to do the things they need to do without making them feel cornered, hampered or obligated to report back every 5 minutes. And to have an interesting enough life yourself to be able to devote your time to you, whilst the other isn't there..... He went away with the boys to Japan? Wow!! I envy him!! Have you any idea what an extraordinary culture trip that is? I would think with such a life-changing leap into a different world, it would be hard to find the time to contact you... In my opinion, you're lucky he did what he did!! Link to post Share on other sites
zenith Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Yes, you are being clingy and sensitive... trip to Japan(little USA)? waste of money..... should have gone to South America instead oh wait, may be he is into comics and their wacky culture? that's cool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Wow thank you so much. Hearing that definitely helped and my headache is feeling a lot better. I do have a life without him and I have caught up with friends every day he has gone and kept myself busy, I just miss him a lot I guess. Maybe I have read too many self-help books that suggest 'he's just not that into you if he's not calling you'. Thanks so much for your advice and I defintely won't bring it up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Yes, you are being clingy and sensitive... trip to Japan(little USA)? waste of money..... should have gone to South America instead oh wait, may be he is into comics and their wacky culture? that's cool No he's going snowboarding! Not into comics haha Thanks for the reply! Link to post Share on other sites
zenith Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 No he's going snowboarding! Not into comics haha Thanks for the reply! phew... so he is not a geek after all... Link to post Share on other sites
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