lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Hello everybody, I am an Asian girl,so I don't know much about the Western culture. When a man who is an European and also interested in me invites me to go out for a wine, what does he mean ? He knows clearly that I can't drink alcohol but he still insists on inviting me to go out and have a glass of wine with him. Could anybody please let me know what it means ? Thank you very much ! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 It does not mean that he expects you to drink wine or any other alcohol. Relax. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Just a phrase that doesn't mean much. Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 It usually means he likes you, either as a friend or something more. If you like him (either way) say "yes I'd LOVE to go for a drink with you but I don't drink alcohol", or if you really like him "I'd love to , but as I don't drink how about dinner ?". If you dont like him take it as a compliment and just say "no thanks". Don't worry I doubt he will have a problem with you not drinking alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 If he suggests having a glass of wine more than twice he's trying to get you drunk. Surely you know what for. If he doesn't respect your word when you tell him you don't drink, I'd cringe to think he may not also respect when you say no. Once should be enough, I said twice about the wine because I give him the benefit of the doubt. There are plenty of other ways to spend time with someone, coffee is a good start, dinner too. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 well...... i have read in previous posts that since dinner wasn't mentioned- he ain't feeding you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Thank you everybody, in my culture, it is abnormal when a man invites a girl to go out for a wine. Soft drink is ok, but wine is not ok. That's why I am confused. Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 it's unlikely he means offence, just be straight with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Yesterday we laid a bet on a football match, and the deal as he suggested is that if I lose I have to drink wine with him. It means he still doesn't give up. Fortunately, I won the bet. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 It means he likes wine and wants to hang out with you. People don't get drunk with a glass of chardonnay. Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Ok, with this new information my earlier statements dont stand. It seems obvious that this guy knows you dont drink wine. That said he could be doing this for several reasons, possibly he is seeing it as a challenge to try to get you to break your 'no alchohol' rule or possible just light hearted banter. You probably shouldn't be agreeing to the sort of bets that would mean you breaking your own life rules (unless secretly you want to break these rules because they aren't really yours but the rules of your family\friends\social circles). You decide, if you don't want to drink alchohol then you really should be straight with him and tell him this and stop making silly bets. If you don't have a problem drinking then just go for a drink with him. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Is it that you can't drink or that you don't want to? There is a big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 It means he likes wine and wants to hang out with you. People don't get drunk with a glass of chardonnay. Yes some people do, myself included. I agree, don't make bets that comprimise your beliefs/values. It shows a lack of integrity, in that what you say you don't do would change over the outcome over a sporting event. Sounds like you've made your prefrences clearly known, any further suggestion of having wine together would be really creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Yes some people do, myself included. Are you kidding? I can understand getting a bit tipsy. But totally drunk ... with just one glass? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Are you kidding? I can understand getting a bit tipsy. But totally drunk ... with just one glass? It is possible - some people are extremely sensitive to alcohol. Their bodies cannot tolerate it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Yes, I've seen it happen. One glass of wine. I've also known women that do NOT get drunk. They can still die from alcohol poisoning if they drink too much, but they don't have any of the "drunk" symptoms. Takes the fun out of it I guess. Some Asian people are allergic to alcohol. That makes it even worse. lolem22 - if you don't want to drink alcohol, don't. If he pushes it, offer an alternative. You'll have coffee or tea or soda, he can have alcohol. If he forces it, kick him in the balls. Ok, don't do that, but pushy is expected, men have been trained to be pushy. As a man if you don't push for it you lose. But forceful is never a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 "neither virginity nor a bank safe is secure once comprimise begins" -Benjamin Franklin Sid3 is absolutely right, dont start comprimising on your values. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 I can't drink alcohol, seriously. Can you believe it , a little amount of wine can even make me feel dizzy and be out of control. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Exactly, B. If a woman tells me she doesn't like/want to do something I respect that 100%......but then would later let that choice ride on a bet, I would have absolutely zero belief in what she had originally told me. Her credibilty would be ruined, and her character would seem questionable. Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 a little amount of wine can even make me feel dizzy and be out of control. This implies to me that you have already tried alcohol, so again my earlier statements are meaningless, as if you generally don't touch alchohol for cultural\religous type reasons you have already broken this rule. Have you mentioned the above fact to the other person ? do you like him ? in which case my advice now is go have a few drinks, and do whatever comes naturally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Sid 3, in our bet, the loser has to do what the winner demands. That's our deal. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 He knows clearly that I can't drink alcohol but he still insists on inviting me to go out and have a glass of wine with him. Here you tell us you cannot drink alcohol - fine. Thank you everybody, in my culture, it is abnormal when a man invites a girl to go out for a wine. Soft drink is ok, but wine is not ok. That's why I am confused. Then you say you cannot drink alcohol for cultural reasons - still fine. Yesterday we laid a bet on a football match, and the deal as he suggested is that if I lose I have to drink wine with him. It means he still doesn't give up. Fortunately, I won the bet. But then you make a bet with him that means you will drink if you lose - seems like a contradiction to the above posts. I can't drink alcohol, seriously. Can you believe it , a little amount of wine can even make me feel dizzy and be out of control. Then you tell us that you HAVE drunk alcohol - definite contradiction. Sid 3, in our bet, the loser has to do what the winner demands. That's our deal. So if you you are more than happy to make such a bet and have drunk alcohol in the past, why this thread? Or if you really do not want to drink, why this bet? Either I'm confused or you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Hi Wuggle, there is no rule in my culture and my religion that girls are not allowed to drink alcohol. It is just I can't drink alcohol. I don't want to drink it, either. The first time I drank wine is when my friend gave me a glass of white wine mixed with water and told me it was a glass of water. I thrown up immediately when my lip touched that glass. I felt very dizzy at that time and had to run to the bathroom. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Yeah, I got that part. I'm not judging. If it's the same guy who you have mentioned in your other thread, I'd say, his gf would be greatly disapointed. Then again, you said something about this guy being European. My only point was to simply state that guys who persistantly push drinking on girls are bad apples. Not saying that is the guys. IDK and as far as your other thread. I agree with BCCA. Would you want to be his gf, knowing he's chasing another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lolem22 Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 Here you tell us you cannot drink alcohol - fine. Then you say you cannot drink alcohol for cultural reasons - still fine. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I didn't mean I can't drink alcohol for cultural reasons. I meant in my culture, it is abnormal if a guy invites a girl to go out for a wine. Link to post Share on other sites
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