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Why do people say i love you to each other after a week of dating??


Brady_to_Moss

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Brady_to_Moss

Why do people do this? Girls mainly. My friend got into a relationship 3 days ago and is saying i love you....now i see love as a very stong word..am i right?

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They crazy.

 

Some people mistake other feelings for love. Such as a crush, or maybe even an obsession. But it's not love.

 

And they crazy.

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Is she saying it more in a joking kind of way?

Ive never dated someone who has said I love you after a few weeks or so. If they say that to me then I am getting my running shoes in place, because its time to run! Thats the sign of someone who is moving waaaaaay to fast.

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They crazy.

 

Some people mistake other feelings for love. Such as a crush, or maybe even an obsession. But it's not love.

 

And they crazy.

 

Yeah, more often than not, it's just lust and a desperate, needy obsession with someone. Love releases and sets free, while people try to use the word love to capture their partner and tie them down.

 

Is she saying it more in a joking kind of way?

Ive never dated someone who has said I love you after a few weeks or so. If they say that to me then I am getting my running shoes in place, because its time to run! Thats the sign of someone who is moving waaaaaay to fast.

 

Are you afraid of intimacy and being connected with someone in a really amazing way, where all your barriers are down and you can experience a really deep emotional and spiritual connection with someone? I think it doesn't matter if you spent 5 minutes or 5 years with someone, it's possible to connect in a meaningful way nonetheless. You just need to be able to tell the difference between the aforementioned obsession/lust and a great connection on a deep level.

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Brady_to_Moss

SHe says it in a serious way all the time to him and me and my roommate are like..WOW...if a girl said this after 3 days....i am gone...i mean it would take a month or 2 for me to say it maybe even longer

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Yeah, more often than not, it's just lust and a desperate, needy obsession with someone. Love releases and sets free, while people try to use the word love to capture their partner and tie them down.

 

 

 

Are you afraid of intimacy and being connected with someone in a really amazing way, where all your barriers are down and you can experience a really deep emotional and spiritual connection with someone? I think it doesn't matter if you spent 5 minutes or 5 years with someone, it's possible to connect in a meaningful way nonetheless. You just need to be able to tell the difference between the aforementioned obsession/lust and a great connection on a deep level.

 

 

Surferdude are you serious???

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"I think it doesn't matter if you spent 5 minutes or 5 years with someone, it's possible to connect in a meaningful way nonetheless."

 

having a meaningful connection with someone doesnt mean you love the person. you have the meaningful connection as a stepping stone that this could turn into love.

 

i too would run if a guy tells me he loves me within 3 days, and yes i do have commitment issues but its just i feel someone who throws around the word like that without trying to further getting to know me and making sure i'd be comfortable with his proposal/confession, is an immature guy who has emotional issues and i rather stay away from those.

 

however i find it absolutely ridiculous how people tell each other they love each other in a few days. it makes love cheap and meaningless, and clearly they are immature and cant tell the difference between infatuation/lust/obsession etc etc.

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SoulSearch_CO

I would say it has a good deal to do with maturity level and understanding what love really is. In my first "adult" BF/GF situation, I did say "I love you" way too freaking early. First guy I ever said it to and I was freaking stupid to have said it.

 

Second guy I said it to was my ex. He said it to me first and it was like 3 weeks or something into us hanging out. I have no idea if it really was love at that point, or the overwhelming, all-consuming infatuation.

 

The guy I'm dating now - his friends told him before our second date (in which we planned for me to go visit him at his place...he lives a couple hours from me) that he must be "in love" because he did like a major clean-up on his bachelor pad. LOL He explained to me that love is a strong word and he wants to wait until he's ready to say it. And I agree - I think it's bandied about way too easily before really understanding what it means. I think saying, "I love you" too early can have the same effect as having sex too early. It can either make things weird, or push things deep before either person is prepared for it. Of course, there's always that remote possibility that it could really be true and both parties are ready for it. But I still think it's a word used too freely.

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Why do people do this? Girls mainly. My friend got into a relationship 3 days ago and is saying i love you....now i see love as a very stong word..am i right?

 

I've had to learn not to do this - never after a week or whatever but I've said it way to soon in a relationship before only to learn that it may have been love but it faded awfully quickly. Now I've been with my GF for 4 months and the words have still not been exchanged which is fine with me. It'd be nice for the girl to say it first for once. I'm not sure I'm in love with her, or that I'll be able to love her which is funny if you read my thread about it. I've come to realize that I'm a fickle M.F.

 

That said when my mother remarried she fell in love instantly with my now step father. They dated for 3 months before getting married. We all thought they were crazy but have been happily married for 12 years now. Guess how long they waited to say "I love you" - not very, that's for sure. Some people can genuinely fall in love much faster than others I think. Just because it takes longer for you to feel comfortable in letting yourself fall, doesn't mean that you can't genuinely fall in love right away with someone. I've seen it happen!

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NewEnglandGirl

I have a friend who just starting dating someone like 2 weeks ago and he is already saying I love you to her. I told her I thought that was a HUGE red flag, she thinks I'm jealous (lol)

 

The insanity!

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Some people can genuinely fall in love much faster than others I think. Just because it takes longer for you to feel comfortable in letting yourself fall, doesn't mean that you can't genuinely fall in love right away with someone. I've seen it happen!

 

 

fall in love much faster? you dont fall in love, you grow in love. and btw the initial euphoric feeling you get when you are with someone new are just chemical reaction. some of them knows the difference of having a deep felt love than a momentarily feeling of being infatuated. your story is great, because they both managed to let the infatuation GROW into love. so NO, i still dont agree that you can fall in love right away with someone. you fall in lust/attraction straight away with someone but definitely not love.

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