conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I met this guy in July and he gave me a gold necklace with a special pearl to match my pearl bracelet and I told him that I liked it alot, which I did. We broke up in August because I didnt want to do long distance. Then I exchanged the necklace he gave me for something that had the special pearl but it was just silver instead of gold in order to match my bracelet more (since the braclelet is silver). Fast forward to December and we start talking again and late January I confessed to him that I had exchanged the necklace. He said its no big deal and he's happy as long as I liked it. He also said it was his first time buying jewelry for a girl (he never bought jewelry for any of his exes because they never really wore much jewelry) so he wasnt sure what was right to buy. He also said that when he went to the department stores that jewelry were either dirt cheap or super expensive and there wasnt any in the middle range so he was pretty clueless as to what to buy! We became officially bf/gf over the past week. And today I was looking at swarovski jewelry online and I told him that I was online shopping while talking to him on IM. I said that I really like swarovski jewelry because they look amazing but are so reasonably priced (and they do indeed range from $60-$120). I pointed out there was a pendant that is a usb and laughed about it. He asked me if I was giving him subtle hints with a winking emoticon and I was so embarrased that I said 'noooo!!' lol. He then said that the hint has been noted with a smirk emoticon again. Again I felt embarrassed and said no, it was not a hint! lol. I admit looking at the jewelry made me remember him saying he had trouble finding mid-priced jewelry so I thought I’d just give him some hints on brands that are mid-priced. But still, I feel so embarrassed! Did I come off as high maintenance!??!?! lol. I feel quite terrible right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 Anyone?! I regret bringing up the swarovski thing to him and gosh I never should of exchanged the necklace in the first place. I feel terrible in hindsight. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer Dude Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 If a girl ever tried to pull that on me, I'd just blow it off as a joke. Guys, if you ever find yourself in a situation like this: GAL: I really like the swarovski jewelry GUY: Oh, YOU wanna buy ME swarovski jewelry? haha GAL: No no, I LIKE THAT, it's so nice and reasonably priced. GUY: While I appreciate this, I really don't need you to buy me jewelry! haha Downplay and dismiss. But if she fails to play by those rules and starts creating drama and trouble for you, dumping is in order! Well, if you have any sense of self respect and won't be treated like an AFC doormat provider. No offense to you OP, I'm just giving out advice to fellow men. As for your situation, what you did wasn't really nice, especially considering you've dated this guy for only a week or so (?). Some guys wouldn't put up with it, but judging from his reaction, he's likely to actually buy that for you. You can try and milk this guy for all he's worth, hopefully he'll come to his senses afterwards, it might actually be beneficial for him on the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 If a girl ever tried to pull that on me, I'd just blow it off as a joke. Guys, if you ever find yourself in a situation like this: GAL: I really like the swarovski jewelry GUY: Oh, YOU wanna buy ME swarovski jewelry? haha GAL: No no, I LIKE THAT, it's so nice and reasonably priced. GUY: While I appreciate this, I really don't need you to buy me jewelry! haha Downplay and dismiss. But if she fails to play by those rules and starts creating drama and trouble for you, dumping is in order! Well, if you have any sense of self respect and won't be treated like an AFC doormat provider. No offense to you OP, I'm just giving out advice to fellow men. As for your situation, what you did wasn't really nice, especially considering you've dated this guy for only a week or so (?). Some guys wouldn't put up with it, but judging from his reaction, he's likely to actually buy that for you. You can try and milk this guy for all he's worth, hopefully he'll come to his senses afterwards, it might actually be beneficial for him on the long term. oh gosh, i feel terrible. How can I rectify this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
RRyan65 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 oh gosh, i feel terrible. How can I rectify this situation? Buy him some ****, STAT! Us guys need to be pampered too, especially if we're catering to a selfish 'hu-ah' like yaself! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Surfer is being a little harsh. Eh, a LOT harsh. I think your BF is probably wondering why you're dating him - for jewelry or for his company. I mean, it is a little weird that you TOLD him you exchanged his gift, and then later told him what other jewelry you like. But a smart guy knows we ladies are just particular about what we like. Don't apologize, but stop talking about shopping, jewelry, or anything else that's materialistic. Shop him that you like him for HIM. Perhaps do something nice for him, or even buy HIM a little somethin'. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 It was fine to replace the jewelry. But buy him something nice in return. And tell him you are getting him something asap. He will say don't bother. Bother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 It was fine to replace the jewelry. But buy him something nice in return. And tell him you are getting him something asap. He will say don't bother. Bother. Well, I've already gotten him a tie and a dilbert set in the past. I plan on giving him a wallet for v day. I love spending money on him. But I feel really really bad about this hinting thing. I told him again that I was not hinting and I feel embarrassed and told him not to buy me anything lol. ack. I feel terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
RRyan65 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Well, I've already gotten him a tie and a dilbert set in the past. I plan on giving him a wallet for v day. I love spending money on him. But I feel really really bad about this hinting thing. I told him again that I was not hinting and I feel embarrassed and told him not to buy me anything lol. ack. I feel terrible. You know, maybe you are being a little hard on yourself. All women reach a point where they hint for something. Actually, in retrospect, I wish a woman would've hinted for something that only cost 60 bucks. That's cheap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 ok wow, i just made a huge mess! So I tried the whole telling him I'm getting him a gift and he was like 'what!? You said you dont want me to get u a gift but you're getting ME a gift? What's up with that?' So now I'm thinking he's probably thinking I'm being manipulative to say I dont want a gift but that I actually expect one. Gosh, honeslty I didnt mean it that way! I feel so clueless like I just made a mess. I told him I didnt want him to get me a gift cuz I felt embarrassed bout the hinting thing and he told me he was just joking. Gosh, I feel super terrible right now. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 You know, maybe you are being a little hard on yourself. All women reach a point where they hint for something. Actually, in retrospect, I wish a woman would've hinted for something that only cost 60 bucks. That's cheap. Honestly, I did it because he in the past once said he had trouble finding mid-priced jewelry and so when I found some I just wanted to hint for him to know. I don't expect a gift at all. Honestly, I never should of exchanged that necklace...I wish I had bought it back after we got back together. He went away on IM for 1.5 hours shortly after that hinting incident and I think its prob cuz he thought I was being high maintenance. I really hope he doesnt think that of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer Dude Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Honestly, I did it because he in the past once said he had trouble finding mid-priced jewelry and so when I found some I just wanted to hint for him to know. I don't expect a gift at all. Honestly, I never should of exchanged that necklace...I wish I had bought it back after we got back together. He went away on IM for 1.5 hours shortly after that hinting incident and I think its prob cuz he thought I was being high maintenance. I really hope he doesnt think that of me. Come on, don't be this hard on yourself. If he does go through with buying, just get him something equally nice. While I'm always the first person to say that relationships shouldn't be based on material possessions, it's necessary to keep some level of equality and reciprocity. Relax. Get him something and let him know you're not using him. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 How old are you? I'm 26, he is 28. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 Come on, don't be this hard on yourself. If he does go through with buying, just get him something equally nice. While I'm always the first person to say that relationships shouldn't be based on material possessions, it's necessary to keep some level of equality and reciprocity. Relax. Get him something and let him know you're not using him. I already bought my gift for him, and I think it's pretty nice. Hopefully you're right and he won't hold this against me too much. Still, I feel terrible right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Just get him a gift, ad-hoc. Forget about waiting for V-day and next time, don't tell him you're giving him one. The element of surprise is much more fun and can't be misconstrued. As for hinting for gifts in the future, don't. The only time to help him out is if he asks for help. If so, state what you want. Forget coyness. Guys can be clueless about what to get. Gift-giving can be worse for them, than trying to figure out nuclear physics. Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 As long as he's getting shiny stuff too, hint away. Goose, gander, sauce for both, etc. Personally, I find it more productive to ask people outright: "Okay, so what do you want me to get you for X holiday?" I let them know to ask me, too, because sometimes there's something I've been needing/wanting and that'll save everyone the trouble of guessing. My mum picked me up a makeup brush yesterday and we're calling that her Valentine's present to me, for example. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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