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Do you believe everything happens for a reason in the dating and relationship world?


Brady_to_Moss

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Brady_to_Moss

Was just wondering what you guys think. Does everything happen for a reason? You meet some girl. It doesnt work out yet you still like her. All for some unknown reason?

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Listen to Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers", if you want to believe in that sort of thing.

 

Do I believe that everything happens for a reason? ...yes ...although not necessarily a cosmic or religious reason. I'm more of a "s.h.i.t. happens" kind of guy. You may not know what it is, or understand it, or agree with it, or even like it ...but there's always a reason.

 

My ex went back to her ex-husband. That's the reason. It is irrelevant at this point the reason behind that choice.

 

I don't exactly recall your situation, but maybe your GF/Wife left you for another man. That's the reason. It matters not why she chose to do that ...and it's best not to dwell on it.

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Yes. And the reason is that it happens so you can learn a lesson from it, and be smarter next time.

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Hm. I was going to say "No," which of course is the smarter answer, but I don't really believe it.

 

Yes.

 

And it's important not to butt in too much of the time or you set fate askew on the good stuff (example don't have abortions of the guy who should've fathered your children's babies).

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the guy who should've fathered your children's babies).

 

Yes, because then you would have been dating your future son-in-law!!

 

Smoke up, Spooks! :love:

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Was just wondering what you guys think. Does everything happen for a reason? You meet some girl. It doesnt work out yet you still like her. All for some unknown reason?

 

Reason being that she's not in the same place you are. Simple.

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confused_2008
Everything happens DUE to a reason, not necessarily FOR one.

 

Very true, only I wish I could blame my recent screw ups on the fact that they were meant to be :(

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Mary Shadows

Yes, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Everyone you come across in life is there for a reason. If you still have feelings for her, you need to make this clear to her! So many guys hide their feelings, and it's hard for us females to really know how YOU feel.

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With everything that happened to me last year.. my answer would be no. I can't think of one damn good reason any of that stuff should have happened.

 

If things really happened for a reason, then the past would make a lot more sense than it does.

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Yeah everything happens for a reason. Absolutely. Maybe you never knew you could care so much about one person so it shows you the depth of your love or maybe you know how rejection feels so you can appreciate acceptance when it comes along. Maybe it is for another reason you haven't quite yet figured out.

 

But yeah it's for a reason. Definitely.

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MN randomguy
With everything that happened to me last year.. my answer would be no. I can't think of one damn good reason any of that stuff should have happened.

 

If things really happened for a reason, then the past would make a lot more sense than it does.

 

 

Good point. I'm another one for No. everything happens for a reason is something someone tells you when you're hosed and they can't or don't want to fix it.

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CrashLanded87

Yeah, most of the stuff like that happens for a reason... If it is meant to work out... it will....

 

You may have to fight for what you want/need, but if you believe strongly enough and try... You'll get what you deserve

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No, it doesn't, because otherwise it would just be fate, and we'd all throw our hands up in the air and say

"Aaah well, it was fated, there's a reason for everything....."

 

people forget a tiny factor called "Free Will".

 

Things would have happened differently, if we'd made different choices.

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CrashLanded87

Yeah, but it was Fate that he chose that one in the first place... I agree, Free Will is there.... Obviously... He Made the choice...

 

I am half/half on this topic.....

 

I believe you chose what you want.... But i believe that there are already predetermined results for each of your choices...

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Bull.

There are too many other mitigating factors involved, like everyone else exercising free will, as well.

Everything is an unknown, and there are too many choices, What ifs and yes buts.....

 

Hindsight IS 20/20.

 

Foresight is a gamble and totally unpredictable.

It all depends on whether we're good at playing the cards we're currently dealt in any situation.

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CrashLanded87

Are you an atheist? I don't mean to call you out on your religion or anything... But stuff like this can be greatly affected by your religious views....

 

I for one am Catholic, so fate is just one of those things i believe in... I believe that if I put my trust in God, he will steer me the right way and help me with my problems. Therefore, I believe that my conscious decision will start it, but some things are just out of your control once the ball gets rolling...

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yes I believe everything in life happens for a reason. that's not the same as fate though, I think it's misguided to mix the two up.

 

You meet someone you like, that person doesn't reciprocate or leaves you for someone else. Your life takes a different path from what you had planned with that person. You soon enough meet someone else, new opportunities arise, your life takes a very different shape and you realise how much richer you have become in the end. You would not have experienced any of that otherwise.

 

There is so much in your life that you cannot control - like other people for example - the key is to make the most and best of what you have and to keep going forward and keep looking for new ideas, meet new people and maintain what you have. Life is about learning and sometimes bad things happen to force you to open new avenues. This is what I believe.

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Are you an atheist? I don't mean to call you out on your religion or anything... But stuff like this can be greatly affected by your religious views....

 

I for one am Catholic, so fate is just one of those things i believe in... I believe that if I put my trust in God, he will steer me the right way and help me with my problems. Therefore, I believe that my conscious decision will start it, but some things are just out of your control once the ball gets rolling...

 

I strongly disagree.

This has nothing to do with Religion.

 

I was a practising Catholic for over 40 years, an assistant at our local Parish Church, a parent governor at a RC Primary school for 4 years and a relationships counsellor with a Roman catholic Relationships organisation.

There is nothing anywhere within the Catholic religion that expounds putting Faith in Fate.

Belief in God is completely different to Trusting in Fate.

You're mixing and matching things in a way I think you'd like to see as preferable.

 

Bottom line:

 

You either follow God's will or you don't.

If you are a devout Catholic, a read through the scriptures will instruct you on what you should do in any given situation.

 

Your question in such cases should not be -

"Wonder what will happen next?"

But -

"What would God want me to do now?"

 

It's not what happens that counts.

It's what you do with it, that counts.

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Well I for one believe that everything is in its proper order. I don't know if it's a religious belief as much as it is a spiritual one.

 

I believe it begins with us choosing our parents and our families. We choose our lives. And free will goes back to conception so I agree with you Geisha that we choose it all.

 

And even though sometimes it seems as though we are on the wrong path, things have run amok, in reality we are exactly on the path we are suppose to be on at that very moment in time.

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The Collector

I believe it begins with us choosing our parents and our families. We choose our lives.

 

Why would someone choose to be a crack-baby, or sexually abused, or to be a slave? Do animals get to choose too? Why would they choose to be a monkey used in experiments or a factory chicken that suffers every minute of its wretched life?

 

I think the idea that we choose our lives or that everything happens for a reason is very comforting for some people. But is there any evidence that this is the case? Or is it just wishful thinking?

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Why would someone choose to be a crack-baby, or sexually abused, or to be a slave?

 

Hmm...well I was sexually abused. I don't know why I chose to be sexually abused but I made the choice to befriend that old man. I chose to knock on that door. I chose to go into that house.

 

I trust the cosmos to hold the answers to "why".

 

Is it comforting? Yes. Without a doubt I find comfort in acceptance of situations I have absolutely no power to change.

 

Do I understand all of it yet? Nope. Do I trust that when my life is done I will? You bet.

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Mmm, the only destinies that exist are the ones we make for ourselves. No matter what you believe in, everyone is constantly faced with at least 1 choice - do I chose fate or free will?

 

Honestly though, I don't see how anyone can chose fate. The world is so chaotic from the perspective of a human. You can't really believe you're predestined for a certain fate as there are so many factors that can alter your future. There are so many possible outcomes that it's impossible to be predetermined, unless of course there is something that oversees every single event to ever happen - ie a God.

 

The fact is that everything IS predetermined, but we as humans aren't perceptive enough to know. If you flip a coin, the chance that it will land on heads is not 50%, it is either 0% or 100%. Why? Well, once you flip a coin, it is spinning at a certain rotational speed, undergoing rotational acceleration, being influenced by gravity, air resistance, etc. If you calculate all of these things and many more forces acting on it, you're bound to know for fer certain which side it will land on. Humans are imperfect though, so we CAN'T know all the forces acting on it. Thus, we come up with our fake probability system to give ourselves the best possible answer in our terms, when in actuality every possible event is either 100% bound to happen or 100% bound to not happen, not 50% bound to happen or 50% bound to not happen, or whatever other way the odds are divided.

 

Anyway...

 

As far as relationships go...it certainly comforts us to think that he or she didn't work out for us because we're bound to meet "The One" in our future. I don't believe that, though. Someone's no longer interested in you because of something he/she did or something you did or any reason that reduces their attraction for you. That doesn't say anything about you finding someone else, it just says that you and that person who rejected you won't be together at this time. You can go through life having failed relationships and getting rejected and then die alone. What does that mean? You were meant to die alone? No, it just means that you did die alone. You weren't meant to do anything.

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Why would someone choose to be a crack-baby, or sexually abused, or to be a slave?

 

good questions, why would they?

You tell me.

(Remember, they become this, they're not born this way.)

 

Do animals get to choose too?

Only up to a point.

 

Why would they choose to be a monkey used in experiments or a factory chicken that suffers every minute of its wretched life?

 

Don't confuse their choices with those of others.

They weren't born into that state, they fell into that state because of the choices of others.

 

I think the idea that we choose our lives or that everything happens for a reason is very comforting for some people. But is there any evidence that this is the case? Or is it just wishful thinking?

 

Give me one case where somebody just falls into an existence through no conscious thought or decision of their own, and stays there for the same reasons.

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