Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Yeah, another one of my weird questions ^.^ What's the difference between feeling a deep connection with someone, and feeling in love with someone? I hear about you guys saying you feel a surreal, out of this world kind of connection with some stranger--but obviously that can't be love. And being in love doesn't always mean that people will feel connected in that way. Right? I feel like successful marriages are so much more about being compatible in the way the two people handle mundane situations, and less about that sort of connection, but I know the ideal would be to have both (not necessarily "soulmates", but both regardless). Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 The best way I would go about describing a connection would be simply "clicking" with another person. It's only happened a couple of times in my life, but when it does I *know* I've met someone who's going to have a profound impact on my life. It's in the way we speak, in the way we converse. It's finding conversation easy with her, never awkward pauses or feeling like you're struggling to make conversation. It's being just who you are some how knowing that she honestly finds your jokes funny, your conversation interesting and your looks appealing. It's that "I feel like I've known you forever" feeling. It's like coming home. Well... that's how it was for me anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
kdark Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 The difference is you feel the connection immediately, whereas the romantic love is something that needs to be cultivated, something that grows the the more time you spend with that special person. And the connection feels like that special someone has an aura of comfort around them. Like Neowolf said, it's like being home. Link to post Share on other sites
LostNLonely Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 The two responders ahead of me said it best, it's like coming home and like being home...it's a rare and beautiful thing to find a compatible mate for your soul. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Yeah, another one of my weird questions ^.^ What's the difference between feeling a deep connection with someone, and feeling in love with someone? I hear about you guys saying you feel a surreal, out of this world kind of connection with some stranger--but obviously that can't be love. And being in love doesn't always mean that people will feel connected in that way. Right? I feel like successful marriages are so much more about being compatible in the way the two people handle mundane situations, and less about that sort of connection, but I know the ideal would be to have both (not necessarily "soulmates", but both regardless). A deep connection allows you the means to love the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 "Coming home?" I don't think I've ever quite felt that. I've felt instant "warm and fuzzy" around guys, but that has never amounted to even a short term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 A deep connection allows you the means to love the other person. Yes, but, a deep connection doesn't always turn into love, right? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Yes, but, a deep connection doesn't always turn into love, right? True. It takes two to love. If one of the persons isn't ready then it just stays a deep connection with no direction. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Yes, but, a deep connection doesn't always turn into love, right? no, i suppose it doesn't. i have felt deep connections with all sorts of people and it doesn't necessarily turn into romantic love. its just that feeling of being around someone who just gets you and that you understand as well. romantic love, IME, is all that above + being naked in bed Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 IMO, if you feel you are in love, you are, regardless of the impetus. I wouldn't psychoanalyze that part. Whether a relationship develops and succeeds is a completely different story. If you feel you share a "connection", you do, as it is based as much on your feelings as upon relational feedback from your partner. Again, don't analyze it. You may read my "evolution" journal series for my own experiences. IME, you'll know the confluence when you can have the "silences" together and they're not "awkward" because you're still talking, just not verbally. You'll sense the other person when they're not around but will be completely at peace (not anxious/nervous) when in their presence. How does a mother "know" when her child is in trouble? How does a twin sense the other's pain or joy as if it were their own? Just a few examples of inexplicable "connections" which of course are not romantic. OP, have you ever embraced a close male friend and know that you love him (and vice-versa) and not felt sexual about that encounter? Connected but not amorous? It's really cool Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "Coming home?" I don't think I've ever quite felt that. I've felt instant "warm and fuzzy" around guys, but that has never amounted to even a short term relationship. With my 2004 BF, I felt an instant "at home" feeling...it was like we'd known each other for years even though we had been set up on a blind date and had never met before. Conversation flowed, we were very attracted to each other, we had similar values and goals in life. (Unfortunately something was still missing for him so we only dated for 6 months.) Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Neither a connection or a romantic interest is exclusive to each other. I think you can have connections with people that are completely platonic. You can have a romantic interest in someone where there is no connection. For me, a connection is a deep mutual understanding of each other's essence. You feel comfortable in each other's presence; there is a sense of calm excitement and assurance. That person makes you feel good about yourself and secure. Maybe what I am talking about is love. Romantic feelings tends to be ephemeral and consist of highs and lows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 IME, you'll know the confluence when you can have the "silences" together and they're not "awkward" because you're still talking, just not verbally. I felt this once before. It was pretty cool. Too bad it lasted only about five minutes and it couldn't turn into anything more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Neither a connection or a romantic interest is exclusive to each other. I think you can have connections with people that are completely platonic. You can have a romantic interest in someone where there is no connection. For me, a connection is a deep mutual understanding of each other's essence. You feel comfortable in each other's presence; there is a sense of calm excitement and assurance. That person makes you feel good about yourself and secure. Maybe what I am talking about is love. Romantic feelings tends to be ephemeral and consist of highs and lows. You seem to be equating romantic feelings to sexual ones. In my original post, what I meant by connection was that instant click. By romantic love I meant more long term love. I guess what I was asking is how possible is it to have both co-existing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Isolde Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 With my 2004 BF, I felt an instant "at home" feeling...it was like we'd known each other for years even though we had been set up on a blind date and had never met before. Conversation flowed, we were very attracted to each other, we had similar values and goals in life. (Unfortunately something was still missing for him so we only dated for 6 months.) I'm sorry it didn't work out It seems like this is indeed separate from the issue of whether a relationship develops or lasts... Link to post Share on other sites
MusicChick24 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Friends can have one type of connection. Those who share romantic love have a completely different connection that thrives off of sexual and romantic attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
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