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my best friend drilled my guy friend at checkout line now he wont talk to me


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Old 20th December 2008, 12:46 PM   #1
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my best friend drilled my guy friend at checkout line now he wont talk to me

my best friend that i tell everything to screwed up big time. iam so upset.
she was in checkout line behind my guy friend. that i have feelings for,

started asking all kinds of questions like about him and i. like when he saw me last, what we were doing. hes a very private person what was going on between us was just suppose to stay between us.

iam so upset now he thinks ive told her everything , i tried to call him he has caller id so he wouldnt answer new it was me. i wanted to tell him i just told her i really like you and i told her was talking on phone with him.

he has told me alot of things he didnt want anyone else to know. now he hates me doesnt want anything to do with me. i hate my best friend because she opened her mouth.

i really liked my guy friend iam so upset.
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Old 20th December 2008, 12:55 PM   #2
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This guy?

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t173008/

Perhaps this is a good time to consider how you share things spoken to you in confidence. Such got my wife into a lot of hot water with me during a period of our marriage, that being a little too glib about our marriage with her girlfriends. IMO, if you want a man to be intimate with you, he has to trust that he has your confidence.

I'm not saying this is the guy (IIRC, I told you to throw "this fish" back) but in general, if you want a healthy LTR with a man who gives you the emotional intimacy you want.

Leave him alone for now. Offer one heartfelt apology via phone and leave it at that.
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:08 PM   #3
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If it makes you feel any better the girl that i like hate me now becasue i asked her bestfriend a question about us and she sent me a txt saying that she gets jelous of her and that it was not a smart idea by me.....it is what it is..
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:12 PM   #4
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Darn..when I saw the title, I thought this was going to be about some crazy stuff going on in a Kroger..lol.

Seriously, sounds like your "best" friend isn't really one at all. I am sure you are not only upset with her for running her mouth, but at yourself for running your mouth to her. This will have to be a hard lesson learned.

The significant other-best friend relationship is often perilous. There can be some unspoken jealousy between the two as they vie for your attention. Subconsciously, she could feel threatened by you developing a love interest. She had to realize what she was saying to him was not beneficial to you whatsoever. I am not saying ditch the friend completely, but she definitely needs to be removed as a confidant for you. Trust and confidence has to be earned. I would make sure that if you feel the need to have another, that you chose someone who will have your best interests in mind and not be threatened by any developing relationship.

As far as the guy, the damage could be serious, especially if he confided in you and little Miss Busybody blabbed those things. All those betrayal feelings you have for your friend are the same ones he has for you. Remember, he confided in you and you failed as well. I would let things die down a day or two. Then, I think if humanly possible you should try to talk to him in person. Calling or texting really isn't the best way here. You need to be able to talk and look him into the eyes. I think you are going to have to be brutally honest, if you have feelings for him say so, etc.. Now is not the time to play coy dating games. You blew his trust in you and the only way to regain it is to be brutally honest and sincere.

I hope it works out for you and him, but regardless, take this as a life lesson and make sure you always honor the trust someone places in you.
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:12 PM   #5
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thanks, theres not much i can do... i tried calling him to explain , but he didnt answer his phone. he has caller id so iam sure he didnt answer when he knew it was me on the other end...

ill just have to except that our friendship is over. iam so sad.
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:15 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dakotamaiden View Post
my best friend that i tell everything to screwed up big time. iam so upset.
she was in checkout line behind my guy friend. that i have feelings for,

started asking all kinds of questions like about him and i. like when he saw me last, what we were doing. hes a very private person what was going on between us was just suppose to stay between us.

iam so upset now he thinks ive told her everything , i tried to call him he has caller id so he wouldnt answer new it was me. i wanted to tell him i just told her i really like you and i told her was talking on phone with him.

he has told me alot of things he didnt want anyone else to know. now he hates me doesnt want anything to do with me. i hate my best friend because she opened her mouth.

i really liked my guy friend iam so upset.
Yea I get it! I would hate that as well. We as women can talk way too much sometimes. As a woman I don't like my business out there and I look for men that are similar. In addition who has time to tell their girlfriends EVERYTHING. Sooner or later its not even that important because ever relationship has its own story. Most girlfriends just want to hear that you are still together and everything is going fine. All that other stuff that your girlfriend seemed to know and divulge is not necessary. And why would she do that.. does she not have her own man? Why would she make him uncomfortable like that.. I'm sure others could over hear the conversation as well.

Hell, make her call him and apologize for opening her mouth. You lay back.. its happened and he can get over it. But, he will need time, allow him to work through it. Because no matter what if he breaks up with you over this, he wasn't into the relationship. Don't keep begging him and apologizing over and over.. you'll change the dynamics of the relationship and sound like a whimp. Own upto it and leave it alone. A lesson learned.. eh
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:18 PM   #7
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Cahill has done his homework and I posted the above without seeing the original thread.

I still stand by what I said, but let me add, when you have your chat, you do need to determine if he is willing and capable to giving you what you want from him. It's obvious you have feelings for him and he has been evaisive at best all along.
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:19 PM   #8
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I'm very confused. Are all 3 of you 15 years old? Your girl friend's reaction sounds so immature, and so does his. So much drama for nothing

Just text him that you don't understand why he's so upset, because the only thing you told her was that you like him. And that you're sorry if her reaction towards him was immature, and that you disapprove of her questioning him like that.
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Old 20th December 2008, 1:40 PM   #9
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It's interesting that the OP didn't refute my assertion that she had shared his confidences with her GF if she did in fact just tell her that she "liked him". If my long life is any guide, I find this highly improbable

Regardless, it's a great learning experience all around. Part of becoming mature is learning from such experiences. Making mistakes is a great way to do this. Made plenty of them in my time. Still do
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Old 20th December 2008, 2:26 PM   #10
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thanks everyone and yes its the same guy. i guesse ill have to throw him back and just forget about him.
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Old 20th December 2008, 6:11 PM   #11
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Your guy friend sounds like a jerk who is ashamed to admit he is close to you to others.
He just wants you for his private booty call but doesn't want anyone else to know he has anything to do with you because he's ashamed of you.
Good riddance to him, since he thinks you're not good enough for him, just in private times of booty calls.
Just read that you're only 15...you're supposed to be 18 legally to post on here and frequent this site, hon. Get off this site now.
Thanks.
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Old 20th December 2008, 6:17 PM   #12
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Just read that you're only 15...you're supposed to be 18 legally to post on here and frequent this site, hon. Get off this site now.
Thanks.
Huh???
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Old 20th December 2008, 6:27 PM   #13
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somebody said it sounded like 15 iam 50
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Old 20th December 2008, 6:28 PM   #14
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Im sorry but I see it a little differently than others.

My friend and I do this all the time, but with caustion and within reasons. It sounds like your friend was just joking with the guy and just asking questions.

Now, is she was asking really personal questions that absolutely no one should know, and it was done out of spite , then I would question her friendship.

If he really liked you he would pick up the phone and hear your reasonings.

But, if the friend was joking, then you shouldnt be mad at her. it seems like your guy friend cant take a joke. Best friends tell each other almost everything.

If I was the friend I would apologize for him taking it out of context and not having a sense of humor.... yea I know.. I dont think she did anything wrong! harmless horse play
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Old 20th December 2008, 6:29 PM   #15
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oH Ok, Sorry.
Well, clearly this guy friend of yours is a jerk and is ashamed for others to know you're "close."
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