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Why do men waste my time?


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Old 1st November 2008, 7:18 PM   #1
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Why do men waste my time?

Guys, what am I doing wrong? Seems there are plenty of guys I like who want to date me but don't seem to want anything more, like being a boyfriend. It's been like this for months and none of them seem in any hurry to change things. Each of them can go for a week or two or even longer at a time without even talking to me inbetween dates or some kind of contact over email or text. And if they do make plans to see me they want dates on like weeknights or Sunday nights, the unimportant nights and always seem to have other stuff planned on Friday, Saturday. I'm not sleeping with these guys (except one slip up you'll see in a previous post) so anyway I know they're not using me for sex or anything... I guess its just they're not that into me. OK I think, fine. That sucks and I feel sad but I can accept it when a guys just not that into me. After all, why waste each other's time?

But it seems these guys are intent on just that, I mean wasting their time and mine. When guys pull these disappearing acts and then get back in touch I try to just politely turn them down or ignore them the next time they make contact. Or if I feel I have been just left hanging or they are messing me around I've sent them some message to try and end the dating relationship. Whatever means to end it. But every time they respond with some mixed message that keeps the communication and relationship going somehow and leaves me feeling really confused. For example they say oh I have been so busy with X, Y, Z (and it sounds reasonable) and let's speak or go out on [fill in the day, next week....etc]. Or worse they say they do really really like me and beg will I go out with them again on [whatever day].......But then when that time rolls around they don't call, txt me... whatever. Or they go out with me that one night and then I don't hear from them again for another two weeks or whatever.

I just don't understand why men want to waste my time and, let's face it, theirs too? It's hurtful, I am constantly being pursued and then rejected alternately. I just want one boyfriend who is genuine. Guys what am I doing wrong here, at least what can I do to stop this situation carrying on and on? I don't want to get played, I don't have the time or the emotional energy for the heartbreak. Part of me things OK just cut off contact completely with any guy who is a messer. But it seems every single man I meet is the same in this respect. I'm scared I'm doing something to scare them off. But I can't think what.. as I'm def not a bunny boiler type. Do I have to become a lesbian lol?
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Old 1st November 2008, 7:20 PM   #2
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.....(What's a 'lesbian lol'?)
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Old 1st November 2008, 7:26 PM   #3
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OP, what's the common denominator? How are you and these men finding each other?
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Old 1st November 2008, 7:43 PM   #4
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Most thru friends of friends, social networks of people... you know. I'm in young professional circles I guess you could say, late 20's to lae 30's. One from internet dating, one out at a bar but these guys are in the minority.
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Old 1st November 2008, 7:48 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geishawhelk View Post
.....(What's a 'lesbian lol'?)
A lesbian locked out late?

Someone once asked me what lol meant...
__________________
Use clever signature here.
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Old 1st November 2008, 7:51 PM   #6
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You just haven't asked the right guy. I for one am always looking for a woman who is looking for the long term (i.e. marriage). And I am upfront about it. Also, like someone told me, maybe the guys are spearing you from a harder breakup later because they know you two are not a match.


DNR
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Old 1st November 2008, 10:20 PM   #7
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I don't think you're being too demanding. But I don't think this is gender specific, lots of women do the same to guys too actually.

Dating is a numbers game. If you're not satisfied with the way things are going, have you thought about pursuing a guy you're interested in?
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Old 2nd November 2008, 1:00 AM   #8
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If you think it's you messing up then I would come out and ask for some feedback from the guys. If they are honest they might give you some valuable insight. Worth a try.

It may not be you at all but just a string of bad luck in the compatibility issue.
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Old 2nd November 2008, 1:05 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geishawhelk View Post
.....(What's a 'lesbian lol'?)
A lesbian little old lady.
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Old 2nd November 2008, 1:10 AM   #10
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A lesbian little old lady.
I was thinking lashings of licking, but you get my vote.
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Old 2nd November 2008, 1:18 AM   #11
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I was thinking lashings of licking, but you get my vote.
How about legless one-eyed lizard? Lover of love? Lust of life? Life of luxury? Licker of libia? Lord/Lady of Lust? Wow, coming up with some good combos are hard.


DNR
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Old 2nd November 2008, 1:21 AM   #12
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Wow, coming up with some good combos are hard.
Yes, it does require some creativity. Like stimulation of the clitoris whilst in the doggie position.
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Old 2nd November 2008, 12:58 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Dark-N-Romantic View Post
How about legless one-eyed lizard? Lover of love? Lust of life? Life of luxury? Licker of libia? Lord/Lady of Lust? Wow, coming up with some good combos are hard.


DNR

1. Life of Leisure
2. Lover of Ladies
3. Leaver of Lovie-dovies
4. Lusty oriental Lady

uhhhh....

5. Lycanthrope of Lithuania?
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