Guys, what am I doing wrong? Seems there are plenty of guys I like who want to date me but don't seem to want anything more, like being a boyfriend. It's been like this for months and none of them seem in any hurry to change things. Each of them can go for a week or two or even longer at a time without even talking to me inbetween dates or some kind of contact over email or text. And if they do make plans to see me they want dates on like weeknights or Sunday nights, the unimportant nights and always seem to have other stuff planned on Friday, Saturday. I'm not sleeping with these guys (except one slip up you'll see in a previous post) so anyway I know they're not using me for sex or anything... I guess its just they're not that into me. OK I think, fine. That sucks and I feel sad but I can accept it when a guys just not that into me. After all, why waste each other's time?
But it seems these guys are intent on just that, I mean wasting their time and mine. When guys pull these disappearing acts and then get back in touch I try to just politely turn them down or ignore them the next time they make contact. Or if I feel I have been just left hanging or they are messing me around I've sent them some message to try and end the dating relationship. Whatever means to end it. But every time they respond with some mixed message that keeps the communication and relationship going somehow and leaves me feeling really confused. For example they say oh I have been so busy with X, Y, Z (and it sounds reasonable) and let's speak or go out on [fill in the day, next week....etc]. Or worse they say they do really really like me and beg will I go out with them again on [whatever day].......But then when that time rolls around they don't call, txt me... whatever. Or they go out with me that one night and then I don't hear from them again for another two weeks or whatever.
I just don't understand why men want to waste my time and, let's face it, theirs too? It's hurtful, I am constantly being pursued and then rejected alternately. I just want one boyfriend who is genuine. Guys what am I doing wrong here, at least what can I do to stop this situation carrying on and on? I don't want to get played, I don't have the time or the emotional energy for the heartbreak. Part of me things OK just cut off contact completely with any guy who is a messer. But it seems every single man I meet is the same in this respect. I'm scared I'm doing something to scare them off. But I can't think what.. as I'm def not a bunny boiler type. Do I have to become a lesbian lol?
Most thru friends of friends, social networks of people... you know. I'm in young professional circles I guess you could say, late 20's to lae 30's. One from internet dating, one out at a bar but these guys are in the minority.
You just haven't asked the right guy. I for one am always looking for a woman who is looking for the long term (i.e. marriage). And I am upfront about it. Also, like someone told me, maybe the guys are spearing you from a harder breakup later because they know you two are not a match.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.