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Do women like being touched on a first date?


Bells

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Now I'm not talking ungentlemanly groping, but I'm talking about subtle touching.

 

Like when he touches you on the back of your arm, or the small of your back when he talks to you, or perhaps likes to put his hands slightly on your waist when behind you (say in line at the movies or something).

 

Sometimes I wonder if men are FZ'ed if they don't even touch a woman....even on a first date.

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Sometimes I wonder if men are FZ'ed if they don't even touch a woman....even on a first date

 

No need to wonder. Answer is a simple yes.

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I wouldn't mind very small gestures of touching, but that would be it. A smart woman does not let it go any further than that.

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I like the hand on the small of the back while leading me through a crowd or door. I also like a quick touch on the arm if next to one another, say at a bar, while making a point during conversation. Maybe holding hands while walking. That's about it...except for perhaps a sweet good night kiss. :)

 

What I REALLY don't like? Hand on my knee. Caressing of my hand. Kissing me mid-date. Standing in line with hands on my waist. Those are all really possessive acts which I find (to use the word you hate! :p) creepy.

 

If there's no contact throughout a date, I do wonder whether he's interested in me. But if he's too touchy, then I get freaked out. There's a delicate balance there...

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To be safe, I would avoid touching on the first date. VERY subtle touches are ok on the second date though. Just wait till the second date to be safe. But ofcourse if she touches you on the first date, feel free to reciprocate lol. I have to say that if I like a guy, I will touch him on the first or at least by the second date. But then again I"m a girl so it's ok and not considered inappropriate. But oh, hug though at the end of the first date for sure!

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Okay, what would you like....no touching at all? Not even a hug?

A hug and other appropriate gestures are fine of course. This is what would annoy me to no end:

or perhaps likes to put his hands slightly on your waist when behind you (say in line at the movies or something).

I find myself more attracted to guys who can hold up themselves and refrain from any unnecessary gestures on a 1st date.

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A hug and other appropriate gestures are fine of course. This is what would annoy me to no end:

 

I find myself more attracted to guys who can hold up themselves and refrain from any unnecessary gestures on a 1st date.

 

I totally agree. Those kinds of touches might risk you coming off as too desperate/aggressive, which can be a huge turn off. Save that kind of stuff until ONLY after you two kiss and you're very sure she likes you alot and has shown it.

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Varying opinions from BOTH sides of the board....hmmmm.

Yeah, but you gave a pretty broad range of "touch..." I think a gentle touch on the back of the arm is on a way different end of the spectrum than hands on her waist from the back while standing in line.

 

Am I out of line to think most people responded more or less OK with gentle short touches (arm, etc...) but most people recommended against hands on the waist?

 

I think SG was kind of in the middle with the hand on the small of the back, and maybe holding hands, although holding hands on a first date sounds pretty strong to me. It seems like this would be a gray area to navigate carefully, and one that you can't generalize about - it would have to depend on the specific person and how the date was going.

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Any delineation between non-sexual physical affection and sexual touching? My prior answer was applicable to the former. I don't touch a woman sexually for a good while and definitely not in the first few dates. I do show physical affection though. I mean, if I'm interested and find a woman attractive, why not? Lacking better terminology, I describe sexual touching as any touch a man would normally use with a woman when making love with her sexually. Example.... one arm around her or her arm entwined in his = non-sexual. Two hands on her waist when behind (ala doggie style) = sexual. Of course YMMV :D

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The woman I met today, we hugged first when we met and then at the end. I did not want to push my luck, nor look like an oph. Question. On our second date, would it be wise to attempt a kiss at the end, or should I wait and see if I get a third date?

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Any delineation between non-sexual physical affection and sexual touching? My prior answer was applicable to the former. I don't touch a woman sexually for a good while and definitely not in the first few dates. I do show physical affection though. I mean, if I'm interested and find a woman attractive, why not? Lacking better terminology, I describe sexual touching as any touch a man would normally use with a woman when making love with her sexually. Example.... one arm around her or her arm entwined in his = non-sexual. Two hands on her waist when behind (ala doggie style) = sexual. Of course YMMV :D

 

Well, I was more referring to non-sexual affection as opposed to sexual....well in my initial post...I was just talking about "touch" in general, guess I should have been more specific?

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Small of the back when walking/guiding through a crowd - yes - old school manners - gentlemanly - men do this with women when there's no romantic connection - it's just old school manners

 

A touch to the back in a bar as he leans in so I can hear what he's saying - ok.

 

Hands on waist while waiting in line - no way - too possessive, demonstrative, sexual - my SO would do this - and pull me back up against him to hug me - but first date - no way - would make me very uncomfy.

 

 

Now I'm not talking ungentlemanly groping, but I'm talking about subtle touching.

 

Like when he touches you on the back of your arm, or the small of your back when he talks to you, or perhaps likes to put his hands slightly on your waist when behind you (say in line at the movies or something).

 

Sometimes I wonder if men are FZ'ed if they don't even touch a woman....even on a first date.

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Hard and fast rule.

 

Small of the back (above the butt and below the bra strap). It is best done if for a reason. Leading her through a crowd, or door that you have opened for her. Open hand.

 

Brush a hair from the face and graze the cheek. One time only and have a reason, windy outside, or she actually hair in her face. Don't try this with no merit. She will see the cheddar in your cheese.

 

Forearm grazing (casual touch). Do watch out for tricky chedder. This can get Velvetta real fast.

 

You pick one or two of any combination and not repetitive.

 

No more then 2 casual touch moments in any date that should be less then 4 hours of duration.

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I find that a little tweak of either of their nipples (be gentle!) drives them wild!!!! Then they won't be able to keep their hands off you. If you're not wearing underpants, then their response feels even better.

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SoulSearch_CO

I'd say the casual touch/brush is fine. But lingering too long could be annoying. I'm definitely a touch person - LOVE to be touched. But if it were a first date and the guy was standing behind me in a line or something with his hand on my waist, I'd move away from him. I'd feel like he was trying to stake a claim, or something - WAY too early for that. Do NOT linger when you do touch. This is coming from somebody that actually LIKES being touched - imagine any woman that doesn't!

 

And yeah, I think if he didn't touch me AT ALL on the date, I'd wonder why and he'd be more of a friend. It's easier to find a "spark" when there's SOMETHING intimate there - no matter how remote.

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SoulSearch_CO
The woman I met today, we hugged first when we met and then at the end. I did not want to push my luck, nor look like an oph. Question. On our second date, would it be wise to attempt a kiss at the end, or should I wait and see if I get a third date?

 

You have a second date and you hugged on the first? Why not a kiss on the second? Just a quick one - if you're more comfortable, maybe just on the cheek right next to the lips at the end or beginning of the end-date hug. There are enough nerve endings right next to the lips to make it similar and IMO, would NOT FZ somebody. But if you kiss on the cheek with no body contact, that's lame - welcome to FZ. LOL But if it were me, a peck on the lips would not be out of the question at the end of the hug - just depends on what you're comfortable with. But if you do the cheek kiss, DEFINITELY make the next one on the lips (LOL - man, that sounds dirty taken out of context)!!

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