Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I saw the post where they were talking about how "Creepy" it was to get a text from someone trying to have fun with her. Has society gotten so unromantic and all in an uproar over this? It's sad that people can't be romantic anymore without being labeled a stalker or "creepy" Back in the day, women would get so EXCITED about Flowers from a "Secret Admirer"! Now this is considered creepy? Well, it doesn't suprise me, but it does show how dating has become difficult these days. Heck, sometimes you don't have to be a secret admirer...the woman can KNOW you. One time, there was this man I knew that went out with a woman...a first date....they both had such a wonderful time, he sent flowers to her office saying he had a wonderful time. She was the ENVY of all the other single girls in the office. She threw out the flowers, totally freaked out, and never returned his calls. Apparently he was "moving too fast" blah blah blah, you know how it goes. And she wonders why she's still single. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I would be freaked out if a guys sent me flowers after the first date unless we had been friends for a long time and we just stepped it up. Especially at the office. I don't want my co-workers knowing about my romantic life. I did get flowers at my office last year from a guy. Unfortunately, we were breaking up and he had been a jerk so the flowers said "I'm sorry". How do you explain that to all the busybodies who want to know where the flowers came from? I was not happy. Back to the original subject. I think the grand gestures should be saved for later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 I would be freaked out if a guys sent me flowers after the first date unless we had been friends for a long time and we just stepped it up. Especially at the office. I don't want my co-workers knowing about my romantic life. I did get flowers at my office last year from a guy. Unfortunately, we were breaking up and he had been a jerk so the flowers said "I'm sorry". How do you explain that to all the busybodies who want to know where the flowers came from? I was not happy. Back to the original subject. I think the grand gestures should be saved for later. Well, that's a personal issue with you, I commend men who do this. I get a kick out of women that whine about they'd love to receive flowers...and then I hear stuff like this. I posed this question to a message board before, and I got women that just LOVED the idea of this guy doing what he did (sending the flowers after the date). They weren't roses, just a basket of flowers. This is a good way to weed out those single women who take issue with such things, vs the ones who do not. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Well, that's a personal issue with you, I commend men who do this. I get a kick out of women that whine about they'd love to receive flowers...and then I hear stuff like this. I posed this question to a message board before, and I got women that just LOVED the idea of this guy doing what he did (sending the flowers after the date). They weren't roses, just a basket of flowers. This is a good way to weed out those single women who take issue with such things, vs the ones who do not. Well then that's a test you can use, can't you? There is nothing wrong with a woman who does not want flowers after the first date, especially when they are delivered to her place of business. That would make me really uncomfortable, and I suspect a lot of women uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 It reminds me of the comment made by a woman, to a man, who opened the door for her.... "You don't have to open the door for me just because I'm a lady - !" She exclaimed indignantly. "I'm not," he replied, "I'm opening the door for you because I'm a gentlwman." If you behave like a gent, you follow trhough. If they object and get all stressed about it - there's a ding-a-ling, right there!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 It reminds me of the comment made by a woman, to a man, who opened the door for her.... "You don't have to open the door for me just because I'm a lady - !" She exclaimed indignantly. "I'm not," he replied, "I'm opening the door for you because I'm a gentlwman." If you behave like a gent, you follow trhough. If they object and get all stressed about it - there's a ding-a-ling, right there!! I think opening a door for someone and sendgin them a bouquet of flowers to their workplace after one date are two entirely different things. Do I enjoy having someone open a door for me? Yes, I do. Do I enjoy getting flowers from the man I care about or love? Yes, I do. Am I a ding-a-ling because I don't want my personal life broadcast at my office? No, I'm not. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 If someone sends me flowers at work, I don't care who knows it or why. The bottom line is that they've always been envious and curious, but I never reveal more than I'm prepared to reveal, anyway. It sets you - and the sender - apart, from the mundane. But that's fine, you have it your way, I'll have it mine - horses for courses!! Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I think, to be a true gentleman, you have to always assess the situation as well as the effects. I always consider holding a door open for a woman to be polite, regardless of whatever pseudo-proud "RAWR I'm a woman I can get my own door"-babble some chicks like to retort with. As for sending flowers, again, you have to assess the situation. Sending flowers to someone at work is obviously going to draw attention from coworkers, and you know people will ask questions. You'd rather they ask questions about flowers with a GOOD story underneath them, rather than having them ask questions about flowers with a BAD story underneath them. Regarding flowers after the first date, I think that's more of a personal preference. I think there are plenty of girls who would find flowers after the first date to be romantic... but to be reasonable, I think it'd be best to wait until at least a few dates to consider sending flowers. After one date, it's more or less hard to assess how serious two people are. Sending flowers draws attention to a relationship that's really not developed enough to assess accurately. Again, though, it's likely a case-by-case sort of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 If someone sends me flowers at work, I don't care who knows it or why. The bottom line is that they've always been envious and curious, but I never reveal more than I'm prepared to reveal, anyway. It sets you - and the sender - apart, from the mundane. But that's fine, you have it your way, I'll have it mine - horses for courses!! Well, at least we know we won't be fighting over the same men Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Is Bells a guy? You seem really upset about women being careful about strangers / people they hardly know, when in fact it makes perfect sense. Society has changed, and so have dating rules. Plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I agree to some degree... I think it's all in the balance.. If a girl goes out with a nice guy and he sends her flowers the next day.. I don't think he's moving too fast.. I think he's just showing her his appreciation. I think it's a nice gesture to either send flowers or to call to thank her.. it's like someone said being a gentleman... same applies to women.. about the calls... I wouldn't go as far as the flowers though.. I think some people watch Entertainment Tonite too much and think that the stalkers and papparazzi will also apply to them... I don't think so. We are being bombarded with bad news.. but we never hear about the good stuff.. that's too bad.. because we think that there are no good people out there anymore.. Some women just like being drama queens and/or live like 'little princesses' and think men are stalking them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 I agree to some degree... I think it's all in the balance.. If a girl goes out with a nice guy and he sends her flowers the next day.. I don't think he's moving too fast.. I think he's just showing her his appreciation. I think it's a nice gesture to either send flowers or to call to thank her.. it's like someone said being a gentleman... same applies to women.. about the calls... I wouldn't go as far as the flowers though.. I think some people watch Entertainment Tonite too much and think that the stalkers and papparazzi will also apply to them... I don't think so. We are being bombarded with bad news.. but we never hear about the good stuff.. that's too bad.. because we think that there are no good people out there anymore.. Some women just like being drama queens and/or live like 'little princesses' and think men are stalking them.. Well there are exceptions to the rule...and there are variables to consider...but I often wonder if the word "Stalker" is indeed being misused quite often these days. Same thing when such things as sexual harassment can get you in trouble as well...it's all up to interpretation. I refer to this nation as the "United States of the Offended" People get offended too easily sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Is Bells a guy? You seem really upset about women being careful about strangers / people they hardly know, when in fact it makes perfect sense. Society has changed, and so have dating rules. Plain and simple. Yeah women - those little angels It's not just men that can be creepy! Women have done many creepy things to me.... just a few weeks ago one rang me up while she was having sex! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Yeah women - those little angels It's not just men that can be creepy! Women have done many creepy things to me.... just a few weeks ago one rang me up while she was having sex! Oh shoot.. sorry CP.. I rang the wrong number.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Yeah women - those little angels It's not just men that can be creepy! Women have done many creepy things to me.... just a few weeks ago one rang me up while she was having sex! Well...you shoudn't have been having sex. lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 lol no I'm serious, it freaked me out! I don't think she had to go that far to show me what I was missing!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 People who don't identify themselves, including secret admirers are creepy. This is the day and age of internet stalking and crazy people. If you consider the OPs recent experience with an internet stalker who linked real life friends with posts on LS, sent LS people links to external site(s) that she was a member of, no wonder she found it creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Well...you shoudn't have been having sex. lol!! It's not him... SHE was having sex .. Bells.. come on.. pay attention .. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I saw the post where they were talking about how "Creepy" it was to get a text from someone trying to have fun with her. Was that you, Bells? You seem sure what intentions this mysterious guy had for her.. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Sounds like Bells has done the same creepy stuff to women before and can't get over the fact that they didn't come running to him with intense appreciation Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Was that you, Bells? You seem sure what intentions this mysterious guy had for her.. Nah, I don't have texting. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Before I was married, I used to send flowers to female friends I knew were having a down period (usually in the romantic department but sometimes for other reasons) along with a nice card to cheer them up. I also used to send anonymous flowers to a woman I liked just to perk her interest that "someone" was thinking of her. Back then, such things were appreciated. Perhaps not now. In any event, I think sending some flowers and a nice card are better symbols of interest and appreciation than the rude and crude behavior women must endure from some "men" who never would do such things. IMO, the latter are the real "stalkers". FWIW, even though no romance ever resulted, my female friend can still remember with great clarity the day a guy brought her a bouquet of fresh wildflowers when meeting her for lunch one day a couple decades ago. He was cheap. He grew them himself. He was me. Actions are the seeds from which memories are made Link to post Share on other sites
BubblyPopcorn Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 There is a difference between sending someone flowers at work versus what Stargazer posted. Stargazers post I totally agree with and whether or not it's just "harmless fun" is besides the point. She doesn't know who the person is, that's why it's perceived as "creepy". No one should be scrutinized for being cautious and unnerved by things like that, especially in this day and age. If he's purposely doing it to get a rise out of her or because he thinks it's "funny", then what does he gain by doing that? I guess it depends on what he views as "funny" and what pleasure he gets by doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bells Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 Before I was married, I used to send flowers to female friends I knew were having a down period (usually in the romantic department but sometimes for other reasons) along with a nice card to cheer them up. I also used to send anonymous flowers to a woman I liked just to perk her interest that "someone" was thinking of her. Back then, such things were appreciated. Perhaps not now. In any event, I think sending some flowers and a nice card are better symbols of interest and appreciation than the rude and crude behavior women must endure from some "men" who never would do such things. IMO, the latter are the real "stalkers". FWIW, even though no romance ever resulted, my female friend can still remember with great clarity the day a guy brought her a bouquet of fresh wildflowers when meeting her for lunch one day a couple decades ago. He was cheap. He grew them himself. He was me. Actions are the seeds from which memories are made That's great...even so...in my mid 30's and "Err on the side of caution" and pretty much not do much of anything to get the attention of a woman, just by perchance I make them uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I just differ. I do what brings me happiness and send those signals out. Women are responsible for their own feelings. I don't have the time nor inclination to take such responsibility at my advanced age. If they see my heartfelt actions and words as negative, I accept that. We each have our own path Link to post Share on other sites
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