candykisses Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I have a guy friend who knows I am interested in him, I even asked him out a couple of months ago. Since then I have tried to distance myself from him so I could get over my feelings for him. When I don't show him attention, he will go out of his way to make sure he gets mine. One day I was on the phone so I didn't pay any attention to him, so later that day when he came by me, I was on the phone again and he came up to me and made a comment. Which this is so out of character for him, he never ever approaches me when I am busy or have other people around. Since I started to distance myself from him, he has stepped up the approaching me. He even told me about a schedule change that he made just to let me know I will be seeing him at different times. Now every time he comes by me, he will stare at me and when I look at him, he will let me catch him staring at me and then he waves or smiles at me. What is his deal? Does he like me more than a friend? If so then why turn down a date when I asked him? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I could have written that. I have the same situation with a guy I know. I don't take it seriously. This is what I think. They think you are attractive but for whatever reason they don't want to date you. Maybe you are just not what they are looking for. However, since they do find you attractive, it makes them feel really good when you pay attention to them. It's all about the attention. It's all about them. He's not interested in more, just this little drama. Have fun with it if you can, if you have stronger feelings, then it's time to create some distance again. Stand your ground. He's playing with you. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Guys give mixed signals when they're not interested in dating you, but they like the attention, the ego boost, and the feeling of power (he feels he has the upper hand because you've already let him know that you are into him). If he wanted to go out with you, there's NOTHING stopping him from doing so, right? Forget about him, and go on dates with other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Let me guess: a co-worker. You didn't really explain what he responded exactly when you asked him out a few months ago; I get the feeling this could be an interesting detail before I get a clearer opinion about the whole story. Also: are you 100% that he's not dating anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Also: are you 100% that he's not dating anyone else? Exactly. Situational ego feed for someone already getting attention elsewhere. Engaging you costs him nothing and the ego boost affirms his attractiveness to other women so he feels more omnipotent with the one he's currently with. OP, as a man, I can tell you that a man who is interested in you as a romantic partner will approach you and will ask you out, especially if he knows you were interested enough in him to ask him out in the past, regardless of his superficial response then. It doesn't matter if he's shy or outgoing. He will approach you and will ask you out, even if it is something "innocent". Personally, I'd keep it indifferent and professional. Change the subject. Excuse yourself. Whatever. Don't feed his trolls Link to post Share on other sites
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