Women Addicted to the Chase

[lrnfromlife]

About Me-26yr old, divorced mother of 1

 

 

Situation 1-I’ve been seeing a 22 subordinate at work against company policy. We have to hide our relationship from just about everyone we know in & out of work considering a large part of both our social circles are people from work. We spend a lot of time at my house watching movies & don’t really do much else. I’ve suggested things but he usually has plans w/ his friends. I’d like to talk more but we usually speak on the phone/text about 3 times a week. About a month into things he told me he was contacted by a one night stand he’d had about 4 months back that’s pregnant & claims it’s his. He openly told me about the baby (I think because he figured I’d hear about it at work if he didn’t) but he doesn’t really talk to me about much else in his life.

 

 

Situation 2-I have I good friend that I’ve known for 5 years who I’ve known has always had a “secret crush” on me but I purposely avoided talking about because I wanted to avoid awkward or risk losing the friendship. After my ex & I separated, he & I casually “dated” for a short period of time. This was about a year ago and only last about a month, then I ended it. Out of the blue last week he told me that he wants to give us another shot & tells me how someday I’ll be his & ask what he needs to do to show me how much he wants to be with me so on and so on. He’s a very sweet, attractive, smart, successful guy & an overall great catch who just got out of a relationship. However, I told him I’m not interested in being w/ anyone right now & kind of left it at that.

 

 

Situation 3-I have an emotionally disturbed, alcoholic, abusive, ex-husband whom I was married to for 9 years. He never wanted the divorce, wants me back & swears he’ll change.

 

 

Sooo..WHAT’S MY PROBLEM??

I think, logically, I should go w/ the guy from situation #2. He really is a good catch. However I’ve found myself wanting to make guy from situation #1 my focus. Why? Why? Why? This is not the 1st time I’ve done this to myself. I am an attractive, intelligent, woman who has people out there that will be everything I could ask for and more but I manage to put them in the friend zone & go for the freakin’ chase, the guy with issues, the forbidden fruit. Could it be something from situation #3 that has made me this way? Why do women like me put themselves in positions to get hurt by the chase instead of playing it safe with the good guys that are out there?

[Yamaha]

You like the unknown. Guy #2 is a safe bet but seems kinda boring so you think of the guy who is not so into you and you want to get his interest. It is more of a challenge but in the end it probably will not deliver much fruit.

It is human nature to want what is hard to get and therefore more valuable. It doesn't make it better for us but that comes from experience.

[SushiX]

Because the chase is always exciting. But how would the chase end after its over? Maybe you won't like #1 as much anymore? Maybe you'll go back to #2? It might be too late by then.