Why do only older women hit on me?

[kashmir]

I was writing something for another thread, and it made me wonder...

 

When I'm out in public settings, usually at my job (I'm a waiter), I get hit on by women a lot, but NEVER by women my age or close to my age (I'm 19). It's always a woman who's at least in her 50's or 60's. They're usually pretty direct too. One woman even said on her way out, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a movie star?" Another one once mistook me for the manager, so I told her, "Sorry maam, but I'm just a waiter." She responds, "No...you're not just a waiter...you're too handsome to be just a waiter." Then tonight I got, "Wow, you're really sharp. I'm surprised...most young men with your looks tend to be pretty dull."

 

I'm very flattered when this happens (plus it boosts the tips ), believe me, I'm not complaining...and it happens at least once a night...but why are only older women attracted to me?! Do I have some kind of look and personality that was really attractive 30-40 years ago and is suddenly mediocre or unattractive? It'd be nice for a hot girl to come in and be interested in me for a change.

[shadowplay]

I think it's because you're "safe" to them. They probably don't have any interest in actually dating you since you're so much younger than they are even if they find you attractive. So they can make these comments because there's no way anything would ever happen. It's sort of like a motherly thing. I've noticed older people tend to be more complimentary of younger people than younger people are to one another.

 

Also, I hate to say it but older people have slightly lower standards because almost any young person automatically looks attractive to them.

[carhill]

I'll remember that when we meet, SP.... you know, it's a fatherly thing ..

 

OP, work it bro; keep the cougars happy and collect those tips

[Isolde]

You'd be surprised how many girls in your age range are too intimidated of attractive guys to hit on them. I don't think girls in restaurants typically hit on cute waiters. They might smile, but that's as far as it would normally go.

[Gold Pile]

I think it's because you're "safe" to them. They probably don't have any interest in actually dating you since you're so much younger than they are even if they find you attractive. So they can make these comments because there's no way anything would ever happen. It's sort of like a motherly thing. I've noticed older people tend to be more complimentary of younger people than younger people are to one another.

 

Also, I hate to say it but older people have slightly lower standards because almost any young person automatically looks attractive to them.

Well....everyone looks better when your eyes are weaker. Many times I consider younger people to be less well groomed than they will be down the road. And they have that ultra smooth...bland skin that often hints of acne.

I'd never find a younger chubby girl more attractive than an "older" woman.

Babyfat is gross.

[shadowplay]

You'd be surprised how many girls in your age range are too intimidated of attractive guys to hit on them. I don't think girls in restaurants typically hit on cute waiters. They might smile, but that's as far as it would normally go.

 

Yeah, older women are def more bold in that respect.

[Trialbyfire]

Hey kashmir, as a 30-something woman, I find most waiters flirty so it's fun to flirt back.

 

There's a pack of us thirty-something women that go for dinner fairly regularly at the same restaurant. The waiters at this place don't seem to mind us and meander over, even if it's not part of their area. We terrorize them when they do come over, which seems to make them happy or something.

 

Enjoy it!

[kashmir]

Also, I hate to say it but older people have slightly lower standards because almost any young person automatically looks attractive to them.

 

That's what I figured for a while, but then everyone else who works with me started to catch on, and I alone became notorious for attracting these older women.

 

Like I said, not complaining at all, but I'm just saying that you'd think I'd have an easier time with girls my own age considering how often I get hit on by older women. Never had a girlfriend or anything. I am pretty shy though and don't hit on many girls.

[kashmir]

Hey kashmir, as a 30-something woman, I find most waiters flirty so it's fun to flirt back.

 

There's a pack of us thirty-something women that go for dinner fairly regularly at the same restaurant. The waiters at this place don't seem to mind us and meander over, even if it's not part of their area. We terrorize them when they do come over, which seems to make them happy or something.

 

Enjoy it!

 

Haha, well I'm not flirty at all and the women that do this to me aren't that regular.

[Touche]

Also, I hate to say it but older people have slightly lower standards because almost any young person automatically looks attractive to them.

 

Wow, SP. I'm shocked! I mean really, that's so not true.

 

First of all in my own case, I've never even dated any men in their 20's. Well, maybe one. But when I was in my 20's I dated guys in their 30's and 40's.

 

If God forbid, I'd ever find myself single, I'd never bother with any man under 40. It's true.

 

My standards would never, never be lowered.

 

How can you say that? How old are you?

 

Until you're my age, I don't see how you can say that automatically any young person is attractive to us. NOT the case AT ALL!

 

As I said, I didn't even find 20-somethings physically attractive (never mind in any other way) when I was in my 20's.

 

Anyone under 40 would be a joke to me...ok, maybe under 35. They're not grown up enough. Not fullly formed or developed. Still think they know it all when they don't.

 

Sorry, but as an "older person" I just had to set the record straight.

[Gold Pile]

I hate to say it but older people have slightly lower standards because almost any young person automatically looks attractive to them

 

Well....everyone looks better when your eyes are weaker. Many times I consider younger people to be less well groomed than they will be down the road. And they have that ultra smooth...bland skin that often hints of acne.

I'd never find a younger chubby girl more attractive than an "older" fit woman.

And Babyfat is gross too.

Just thought this wisdom was repeatable

[shadowplay]

Wow, SP. I'm shocked! I mean really, that's so not true.

 

First of all in my own case, I've never even dated any men in their 20's. Well, maybe one. But when I was in my 20's I dated guys in their 30's and 40's.

 

If God forbid, I'd ever find myself single, I'd never bother with any man under 40. It's true.

 

My standards would never, never be lowered.

 

How can you say that? How old are you?

 

Until you're my age, I don't see how you can say that automatically any young person is attractive to us. NOT the case AT ALL!

 

As I said, I didn't even find 20-somethings physically attractive (never mind in any other way) when I was in my 20's.

 

Anyone under 40 would be a joke to me...ok, maybe under 35. They're not grown up enough. Not fullly formed or developed. Still think they know it all when they don't.

 

Sorry, but as an "older person" I just had to set the record straight.

 

I'm not basing this so much on what I've observed but what I've heard from older folks. And I'm not saying this applies to all older people, just some. But it seems like a lot of older people (usually over sixty) look at young people in this nostalgic kind of way like "you're so young and beautiful. I remember being that age."

 

It's sort of like how some men will prefer a younger less attractive woman to an older beautiful one.

 

As I said, older women may not find a younger man sexually appealing but can still appreciate his "aesthetic" youthful beauty or whatever you want to call it.

 

Again, this doesn't apply to all older folks, just some.

[Touche]

Just thought this wisdom was repeatable

 

It was! Perfect!!!!

[D-Lish]

I was writing something for another thread, and it made me wonder...

 

When I'm out in public settings, usually at my job (I'm a waiter), I get hit on by women a lot, but NEVER by women my age or close to my age (I'm 19). It's always a woman who's at least in her 50's or 60's. They're usually pretty direct too. One woman even said on her way out, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a movie star?" Another one once mistook me for the manager, so I told her, "Sorry maam, but I'm just a waiter." She responds, "No...you're not just a waiter...you're too handsome to be just a waiter." Then tonight I got, "Wow, you're really sharp. I'm surprised...most young men with your looks tend to be pretty dull."

 

I'm very flattered when this happens (plus it boosts the tips ), believe me, I'm not complaining...and it happens at least once a night...but why are only older women attracted to me?! Do I have some kind of look and personality that was really attractive 30-40 years ago and is suddenly mediocre or unattractive? It'd be nice for a hot girl to come in and be interested in me for a change.

 

Why?

 

because they have nothing to lose! It's fun for them. You are a pleasant looking welcoming distraction. They are having fun- but it's safe fun. They get to have your attention, they enjoy it... but I doubt most would follow through with a proposition.

 

Younger women don't have that luxury of flirting... it will be taken seriously, and they will be more shy about it.

 

I'm more apt to flirt with someone I know is safe, because there is no rejection involved.

[Trialbyfire]

No offense Kashmir, but I feel the same way as Touche. While I'm sure you're personally very attractive, my taste in men leans towards 5+ years older. It doesn't mean I won't flirt with younger waiters if they flirt with me first. It's all in good fun. The last thing I would do is to flirt with a waiter and make him uncomfortable.

[Touche]

I'm not basing this so much on what I've observed but what I've heard from older folks. And I'm not saying this applies to all older people, just some. But it seems like a lot of older people (usually over sixty) look at young people in this nostalgic kind of way like "you're so young and beautiful. I remember being that age."

 

It's sort of like how some men will prefer a younger less attractive woman to an older beautiful one.

 

As I said, older women may not find a younger man sexually appealing but can still appreciate his "aesthetic" youthful beauty or whatever you want to call it.

 

Again, this doesn't apply to all older folks, just some.

 

Oh, ok, SP. Whatever you say. Glad to hear that "older people" means over 60 to you...phewwww.

[Star Gazer]

Interesting. I wouldn't have taken any of those women's comments as hitting on you.

[Touche]

Interesting. I wouldn't have taken any of those women's comments as hitting on you.

 

You know what? I didn't say it, but I have to agree. I just went back and looked at the comments from these "older women" and I also agree. There's no way they were "hitting" on you.

 

It was more in the vein of you're cute. Nice eye candy to serve them while they dine. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

Perhaps you work at a restaurant that is too upscale/high priced for girls your age?

 

I have a feeling that you'd do alright in some other venue other than the place where you work. Have you thought of that?

[Touche]

older women are more in touch with their sexuality. therefore they will actually be more aggresive naturally and therefore make more attempts to hook up with you.

 

that's why you notice older women chasing after you. also it may depend on your style and your look.

 

i have the look that attracts older women as well.

 

You do? Is that you in your avvy?

[kashmir]

No offense Kashmir, but I feel the same way as Touche. While I'm sure you're personally very attractive, my taste in men leans towards 5+ years older. It doesn't mean I won't flirt with younger waiters if they flirt with me first. It's all in good fun. The last thing I would do is to flirt with a waiter and make him uncomfortable.

 

No no, I know that! I think some of you misunderstand me. I KNOW these older women aren't actually interested in DATING me...just as much as I'm interested in dating them. They're essentially saying, "you're an attractive guy for your age," not "mmm, wanna go out sometime handsome?" =p I figured that was a given.

 

Interesting. I wouldn't have taken any of those women's comments as hitting on you.

 

Um, could they be any more direct?

[kashmir]

There's no way they were "hitting" on you.

 

It was more in the vein of you're cute. Nice eye candy to serve them while they dine. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

That's what I'm trying to say. I guess we have different definitions of being 'hit on.' It's not like I believed they were actually trying to get me. That would be pretty dumb to think that.

[Touche]

Um, could they be any more direct?

 

In saying what? That you look like a movie star? Or mistaking you for the manager? Or telling you that you're "sharp?"

 

So funny.

 

Don't let that get to your head dear. They're drinking and eating and having fun. NOT hitting on you. Guarantee it.

 

You even said so yourself.

[shadowplay]

No no, I know that! I think some of you misunderstand me. I KNOW these older women aren't actually interested in DATING me...just as much as I'm interested in dating them. They're essentially saying, "you're an attractive guy for your age," not "mmm, wanna go out sometime handsome?" =p I figured that was a given.

 

 

 

Um, could they be any more direct?

 

Well, hitting on someone usually implies with the intention to date. Flirting might be a better description. I agree with the other posters that they do it because you're safe, cute and there's no risk of rejection.

[Touche]

That's what I'm trying to say. I guess we have different definitions of being 'hit on.' It's not like I believed they were actually trying to get me. That would be pretty dumb to think that.

 

Sorry, I just saw this. But above you said "could they be any more direct?"

 

What does that mean?

[Touche]

Yes. There's more pics on my link in my signature about my transformation. I went from being an acne filled nerd to actually getting laid without issues.

 

I have spent the past year and half dating a very amazing woman almost twice my age. That has matured me and taught me a lot about life. Amazing experience.

 

Is her name Lizzie and does she give happy endings after her massages?