Emotionally unavailable?

[tranceguy]

The current women I've been dating for the past 2 months is going good. She compliments me like there going out of style, *which for me, makes me feel unconfortable* dont ask why. She believes we have excellent sexual chemistry, we love the same music, differ on quality of books, and both enjoy doing what ever activities together when we can meet ( every friday).

Then after a run in the sheets, she lays this on me, "I was discussing with my friend how perfect you are and how I haven't found a flaw in your character thus far, but I believe you might be emotionally unavailable".

 

I just don't get why she would think that. I'm not a guy who would jump into a relationship after 8 dates. I'm also the kind of guy who dosen't believe in marriage before 25 years of age. Which during casual conversation I brought up. Yet she assumes i'm emotionally unavailable.

I held my tongue when she told me she assumed all this.

 

But you know what they say about asumptions.....There the mother of all **** up's.

[Green]

Don't let it get to you... try to stay more mesterious on your inner workings though... don't throw out any more numbers like the 25 one... don't let this get to you just ignore it

[oceangrl]

If she said that after sex, maybe she felt you were keeping your distance....like lack of cuddling or something?

[tranceguy]

I'll try to not let it get to me. As far as after sex, did the whole cuddle thing for like 30 before I left, but she said that like 5 mins in to that.

[Prodigal Princess]

She's young and insecure. She's throwing out the compliments to you because she's hoping you might throw them back. When you're not as gushing about her as she is about you, she (with the help of her girlfriends) decides that you're "emotionally unavailable".

 

The alternative - that you're not as into her as she is into you - is too hurtful for her to contemplate.

[Krytie TV]

Have you considered that maybe she's right? Do you live in your own little world and simply "go along" with her? Do you ever tell her how you feel about her? Do you do things for her just because you want to or because she deserves it?

 

To be honest, the fact that you say you didn't reply to it rather solidifies her assertion in my mind. I know it's only one post, but I do get as sense of emotional unavailability. Don't be so quick to defend yourself, but rather ponder whether it could actually be true.

[amymarieca]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I have been in A LOT of relationships and can say that it is a bad idea to rush into something. I don't think after eight dates that you can really assume that someone is your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even that you two have become exclusive. I also like your idea on marriage. So many people rush into that as well, and look where it gets them- divorced.

 

In my dating life right now, I purposely go for the "emotionally unavailable men" because I am not looking for a relationship. I have "dated" about 8 of them. You don't seem like you are unavailable in any way, based on my experience and what you say in your post.

 

To be honest, this girl sounds a little immature when it comes to dating. Maybe you should re-evaluate the situation and decide if you want to be with someone who makes that conclusion about you so quickly.

[tranceguy]

I really do appreciate all the advice. I should revamp my current outlook on this comment.