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He's a 23 year old Virgin


afhopie44

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[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]So I've been "hanging out", dating, this guy for 3 months. He recently told me that he's a virgin and he's 23. Then last weekend he told me that he has never messed around with a girl - EVER. He's only kissed 4 girls and thats as far as it went. I can tell by what he does that he's very unexperienced. He seems a little unexperienced emotionally too. He always drives to see me and we either hang out at my house or go out to eat, bowling, to the bar, etc. He's a real gentleman. I wrecked my car a month ago and was stranded with no way home and he drove an hour to get me and take me home safely.[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]But then when I bring up the subject of a relationship things get all weird. We've talked a few times about it. He says he likes how things are right now and wants to keep it going. We see each other about 2- 3 times a week. But it seems like he has a problem with intimacy (obviously since hes a 23 yr old virgin). Sometimes he doesn't even want to kiss me and I'm like why won't you kiss me? And he says he doesn't want me to feel like this is something we have to do alll the time and then he doesn't want me getting dissapointed if it doesn't happen. He says he really cares about me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. He also came over to my house last weekend whenever my cat died because he knew i was upset. [/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Is this normal? Have you ever heard of this? Should I run as fast as I can? Or should I stick it out with him and see where it leads? Its really frustrating because he gives me so many mixed signals. When it seems like things are going really good and progressing well - all of a sudden he slams on the brakes.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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It's not common, but it's definitely Okay that he's a virgin. He just hasn't found the right girl yet to have sex with.

 

Listen, I had sex with a 40 year old who was married twice and lost his virginity when he was 13, and it was like having sex with a virgin. I had to give him directions on how to satisfy me...:laugh::lmao: So whether he's a virgin or not doesn't even mater. If the man knows what he's doing, then he will be good. And this virgin might know what he's doing. Hey, give it a try ;) At least you can train him from the start.

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What I see is that you care about this guy, and he cares about you. That's why you two have stuck it out for 3 months and are still together.

 

However, the intimacy issue is a problem.

He is ,undoubtedly, scared about his lack of experience and he certainly has some emotional problems.

That doesn't mean you should give up on him, but it may be a good idea to slowly ramp up the sexual aspect of your relationship.

It had to start with the kissing and then , possibly, proceed to some oral pleasure(I would recommend giving him a BJ, every guy appreciates this and it will help him relax).

 

I think you should avoid talking about this matter, and just take things into your own hands.;)

Once you get him going, he won't be able to stop.

 

However, if he continues to avoid intimacy and contact, you may have to take drastic measures...

 

CHeers,

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lovestruck818
[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]So I've been "hanging out", dating, this guy for 3 months. He recently told me that he's a virgin and he's 23. Then last weekend he told me that he has never messed around with a girl - EVER. He's only kissed 4 girls and thats as far as it went. I can tell by what he does that he's very unexperienced. He seems a little unexperienced emotionally too. He always drives to see me and we either hang out at my house or go out to eat, bowling, to the bar, etc. He's a real gentleman. I wrecked my car a month ago and was stranded with no way home and he drove an hour to get me and take me home safely.[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]But then when I bring up the subject of a relationship things get all weird. We've talked a few times about it. He says he likes how things are right now and wants to keep it going. We see each other about 2- 3 times a week. But it seems like he has a problem with intimacy (obviously since hes a 23 yr old virgin). Sometimes he doesn't even want to kiss me and I'm like why won't you kiss me? And he says he doesn't want me to feel like this is something we have to do alll the time and then he doesn't want me getting dissapointed if it doesn't happen. He says he really cares about me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. He also came over to my house last weekend whenever my cat died because he knew i was upset. [/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]Is this normal? Have you ever heard of this? Should I run as fast as I can? Or should I stick it out with him and see where it leads? Its really frustrating because he gives me so many mixed signals. When it seems like things are going really good and progressing well - all of a sudden he slams on the brakes.[/sIZE][/FONT]

 

He seems like a great catch- and he is probably just worried about doing things with you b/c he is worried about what you will think- b/c he obv adores you and your opinion of him matters, rightfully so. I think you def. need to hold on to this guy...and if you really like him and really do want a relationship with him, tell him. I think over time he will warm up to you. Reassure him that him being unexperienced doesn't bother you and that he can go at his own pace.

 

As far as the mixed singles, I don't think he is intentionally doing it to be mean or to confuse you- he just genuinely probably has no idea what to do.

 

It's all very cute- and I wish you lots of luck. :)

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