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Shes afraid to get emotionally attached


Mikey Trash

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Mikey Trash

I have been dating my girl for 3 months now. We've had our arguments and problems and gotten through them. About a few days ago we were chatting online and she mentioned something that has been bothering her lately about us and that is our age difference. Shes 27 and im 24...not a big deal to me but somewhat of something to her, only because she believes that a woman at that age should be thinking about her future like moving in together, engagement, marriage, family...etc and all that. At my age im just taking it easy and enjoying the way things are going...she did mention at one point that maybe we should see other people and just be friends, and that I should perhaps date someone else...I was a little devastated about that.

 

The next day we chatted online again and it seemed a little sadder to talk to each other, but we just chatted as if we were friends, but I continued to flirt with her and she kept enjoying it, eventually she invited me to come over that evening to hang out "as friends" though we ended up fooling around as usual and since then its been the same thing...we still talk and hangout like we are a couple but we have not gotten into the BF/GF status. She will only do that when she starts to get emotionally attached to me.

 

Its weird though. We IM/Text everyday, flirt with each other, hangout, fool around, and I even sleepover at her house in the same bed as her on the weekends...but she will not call me her BF or have sex with me until she thinks its time for her to be emotionally attached (she claims she does not have "casual sex" with guys). Shes been in 2 LTR one for 4 years and another for 2 and she was treated bad in both of them so shes afraid of heartbreak again if she starts having feelings for me.

 

I mean I can go out and date another girl but Ive started to like her, and I know she feels the same but shes afraid of being heartbroken if something would happen. she makes time to hangout with me, and everyday when im at work she'll text me and we'll go back and forth all day with text messages.

 

Will she eventually start to come to her senses and start to be a little more emotionally attached or is she gonna try to pull the "just friends"

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Shes 27 and im 24...not a big deal to me but somewhat of something to her, only because she believes that a woman at that age should be thinking about her future like moving in together, engagement, marriage, family...etc and all that. At my age im just taking it easy and enjoying the way things are going..

 

This won't go away for her. If she is thinking of the future and you are nowhere near that, it will remain a point of disconnect for her. She is dating because she wants to find a partner, someone she can plan a future with. You are dating for fun, companionship and sex, and don't sound like you are as ready as she is to find a partner for the future.

 

So, in her mind, it doesn't make sense to get attached to you if there's no future in it. Nor does it make sense for her to give up dating other people and perhaps miss out on dating a guy who can be her forever-guy.

 

She might date you because it's fun, but unless she changes her mind about wanting to find a partner for marriage, or you very quickly grow ready for that kind of relationship, then this is just temporary and she will avoid developing feelings for you that could trap her into a relationship with someone who doesn't want what she wants.

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What she's telling you is that she does not see you as long-term potential.

 

If someone you are involved with tells you to start seeing other women - PAY ATTENTION TO THAT.

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