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She says we need to slow down...


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Old 6th June 2008, 9:47 PM   #1
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Take it slow... or afraid of Commitment...?

So I've been dating this girl for 5 months now. When went on a few dates and hit it off right off the bat. We had known each other for a couple of months through mutual friends before I asked her out.

We started seeing a lot of each other staying at one anothers house like 2 times a week. Everything seemed really cool. I felt like I was giving her space whenever she needed it. If she wanted to go out with the girls I would say "have fun, I'll talk to you later". I would ask her to hang out just and she would ask me to hang out. it was straight p 50/50 when it came to being together.

So she asks me to stay the night and hang out. The next day she comes up to my house and tells me that she thinks we are moving really fast and wants to slow it down.

I too felt like it was moving fast but seemed recipricle so didn't say much. She said she just felt alot of anxiety and felt like we had been dating for 1 1/2 years even though its been 5 months. I asked her if she wanted to see other people or if she needed more time with her friends. She said no that she really likes me alot and that I am not like anyone else she has ever dated and wants to continue and be my girlfriend. She loves hanging out with me and can't imagine not talking to me daily on the phone.

I just feel a little awkward becasue it was so out of the blue. We are very open with our communication and can talk about anything. I am just a little blindsided by this and don't really know what to think.

I am going to give her some space. Im going to let her call me and ask me to hang out. I don't want to push her.

She told me that with her last boyfriend she would argue and stuff and that 6 months into it she felt like it was going fast and then ended it. She says that I am nothing like him (we have never had any type of argument or tiff) and that she cares about me alot and just wants it to slow down.

What do you think? How should I respond to this?

Thanks..

Last edited by The Gypsy; 7th June 2008 at 1:45 AM.. Reason: Needed a better title...
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Old 7th June 2008, 6:02 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gypsy View Post

So she asks me to stay the night and hang out. The next day she comes up to my house and tells me that she thinks we are moving really fast and wants to slow it down.


What do you think? How should I respond to this?

Thanks..
You are with someone who loves the rush and the "feelings " of being "in love". For her, this lasts about 6 months. She wants to "slow down" ..this is BS - she wants to breakup with you because she loved the "feelings" more that she wants a stable relationship. However she also wants to play you out until she finds another branch to swing across to.

If I were you I would walk away NOW before you wind up chasing her like a dog chasing a car.

These chicks give women a bad rep.
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Old 7th June 2008, 8:30 AM   #3
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If she want to slow down then you should really slow down and then see how she reacts!

Some people do like to take things really slowly (like myself) but why does she want to slow down now??

She said great things and she's really into you etc but actions speak louder then words with women so don't pay much attention to her words.
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Old 7th June 2008, 8:36 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gypsy View Post
So I've been dating this girl for 5 months now. When went on a few dates and hit it off right off the bat. We had known each other for a couple of months through mutual friends before I asked her out.

We started seeing a lot of each other staying at one anothers house like 2 times a week. Everything seemed really cool. I felt like I was giving her space whenever she needed it. If she wanted to go out with the girls I would say "have fun, I'll talk to you later". I would ask her to hang out just and she would ask me to hang out. it was straight p 50/50 when it came to being together.

So she asks me to stay the night and hang out. The next day she comes up to my house and tells me that she thinks we are moving really fast and wants to slow it down.

I too felt like it was moving fast but seemed recipricle so didn't say much. She said she just felt alot of anxiety and felt like we had been dating for 1 1/2 years even though its been 5 months. I asked her if she wanted to see other people or if she needed more time with her friends. She said no that she really likes me alot and that I am not like anyone else she has ever dated and wants to continue and be my girlfriend. She loves hanging out with me and can't imagine not talking to me daily on the phone.

I just feel a little awkward becasue it was so out of the blue. We are very open with our communication and can talk about anything. I am just a little blindsided by this and don't really know what to think.

I am going to give her some space. Im going to let her call me and ask me to hang out. I don't want to push her.

She told me that with her last boyfriend she would argue and stuff and that 6 months into it she felt like it was going fast and then ended it. She says that I am nothing like him (we have never had any type of argument or tiff) and that she cares about me alot and just wants it to slow down.

What do you think? How should I respond to this?

Thanks..
Where you seem to be in your relationship, I would say is about right for 5 months. You're not smothering her, you're not telling her you love her, you give her space, I don't get what is too fast about it for her...

I'm @ 6 months in my relationship. All my previosu relationships have moved fast and also ended really quickly b/c of it. This time around he took it slow with me and at first I got really antsy about it b/c I wasn't used to it and i was excited to get to the "good part"- ie. the "I love you", "In love" phase...etc. etc. Bottom line, slow is the way to go. You want the feelings to develop naturally over time, not rush them or be forced or fake.

She probably isn't going to dump you. She probably just wants to slow down for fear of losing you. Good luck!
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