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They're always taken.. think I figured out y


Nevr4Get

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I just read another post on some forum from a guy who was asking y everygirl he meets ends up having a boyfriend then he has to back off. He mentioned he didn't know they had one when they start talking..

 

So I said probably cause girls change once they're in a relationship.. they become warmer and open up more, and if guys fear rejection those are the kind of women we're subconciously attracted to.. because they give off an aura of nuturing acceptance.. like they seem like the type to 'understand' our fears.. to hold our hand along with us.. etc.

 

But it's a catch-22 because they only get like that because they're in a relationship already. Guys who fear rejection only fear the chase of the single girl, but don't fear the nuturing relationship that follows. So when we meet girls in a relationship, even if we don't know they're in one, the aura they send misleads us into thinking 'she's soooo cool.. totally down-to-earth.. I can so see myself being with her..' but we always find out she's taken.

 

Anyone else see the condundrum here? So it's like, that nuturing aura is what you get as a reward for getting the ice cold girl with a wall built up. But we want the warm aura right from the start.. but fact is we need to find someone a bit colder and earn her warmess by winning her heart.

 

Anyway, just thinkin out loud here..

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Trialbyfire

I won't say what the word "nurturing" brings to mind but it never hurts to find out if someone is attached, before getting too interested. One way of finding this out quickly, is to ask her what she and her b/f did this past weekend.

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Well two things. First, as you mentioned a lot of girls act in ways that make them more attractive to men when they aren't single as you said. But the reason I think why they do this is because they know they have an easy out if you become attracted to them. So for them it's just easy and relaxed flirting without having to worry. Women who are single tend to put up a lot of defenses and go into screening mode.

 

Also, a lot of times girls will lie and say they have a BF as an easy out if they're not interested.

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Hey TBF brought up a good point, if I got you right.. you were gonna say mommas boy right? or something about nuturing and mother's?? If not, my bad.

 

Anyway, I know for me this is definately true, cause I grew up with all females and for years I only knew of that feeling of women unconditionally loving me.. so being rejected was like an insult, like what??? reject ME??? my sisters, my mom, every woman in my family loves me, how can you not? (I never actually SAID this) but yeah that does make sense.

 

I never read any stats but I'm wondering if most guys who fear rejection had a lot of females family members and they actually got along. I notice my friends who have that love/hate relationship with sisters and moms tend to fear rejection less, but the ones who have loving caring relationships with moms/sis tend to fear more.

 

*edit* I don't mean "fear" rejection, maybe "hate" rejection is more accurate. I don't fear it, I just really really really don't like it.

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