LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Do most men like bubbly women?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Old 6th April 2008, 4:36 PM   #1
Unconfirmed Account
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,116
Journal Entries: 2
Do most men like bubbly women?

In my observation most smart guys, especially shy ones, are drawn to bubbly women. All the guys I've been involved with have had idealized this type of girl.

It bothers me because I'm far from bubbly. The fact that I'm depressed doesn't help, but even when I'm happy and confident I'm not bubbly. That's just not me. I can be energetic and passionate, but I still don't see the world in shades of pink. Bubby women seem fake, unreflective and disconnected from reality. They act that way because they get a lot of reinforcement for being cute, and because they're afraid of not being liked if they express a negative sentiment.

I'm talking about women who are cloyingly positive and chipper, to the point of denying reality. People like that strike me as depth-less. Why do guys fall all over them? Do they think being around a woman like that will fill their world with sugarplums and fairies, distracting them from the emptiness of their lives? It sounds silly, but bubbliness is almost the antithesis of everything I stand for. I'm drawn to nuance, shades of gray. Being around someone who's bubbly can be as depressing as being around someone who's constantly negative. Sometimes they seem like the saddest people in the world.

I find myself resenting these chipper, chatty girls and the guys who kiss their feet. Must I put on a facade of bubbliness to be appreciated by the opposite sex? Is that the way most men think women should be?

Even if I grow more confident and outgoing, I still won't be that bubbly girl. And, frankly, I don't want to be. I wish I could just find a guy who appreciated me for me, for better or worse.

Guess I'm in a bitter mood...

Last edited by shadowplay; 6th April 2008 at 4:43 PM..
shadowplay is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:43 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Male, 55, in Sunny Cali
Posts: 35,198
Journal Entries: 38
I like a woman who's emotionally aware, quick-witted and can engage in intellectual banter. The size of her "girls" is irrelevant

I love a woman who notices nuances, all the shades of existence. That's very sexy.

Don't know if that helps, but there ya go

Remember, the right man will appreciate your strengths and personality type. Yes, I've read your threads....

Do you get the feeling that guys blow right past you to get at these bubbly, outgoing ladies? If so, yeah, I know exactly how that feels. Men deal with the same issues, just in a different way.

Hope you feel better!
carhill is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:45 PM   #3
Unconfirmed Account
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,116
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill View Post

Do you get the feeling that guys blow right past you to get at these bubbly, outgoing ladies? If so, yeah, I know exactly how that feels. Men deal with the same issues, just in a different way.

Hope you feel better!
Yes. Thanks!

It's good to know there are guys out there who appreciate more complex women.

I just wish I understood why so many men are drawn to that type. Or maybe I just hang out in the wrong circles.
shadowplay is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:48 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 403
I concur wholeheartedly!


(sorry, not helpful i know)
my body is a cage is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:49 PM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 687
I think most everyone is attracted to bubbly or outgoing people. Women are usually attracted to bubbly guys even if they're not bubbly themselves. I think most guys want a girl to be bubbly with him and not every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along. A lot of guys distrust and resent those girls. And like you resent the fakeness of those girls, some guys resent guys they see as being full of thmselves and who get a lot of women.

As you pointed out, sometimes opposites attract. But sometimes they do not. Do you find yourself attracted to non-bubbly guys? If so, maybe you should find more guys similar to you.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by audrey_1
Having sex beginning, middle or end doesn't define who you are or where you're going in relationships between people who aren't players or jerks.
TheFonz is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:50 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowplay View Post

It's good to know there are guys out there who appreciate more complex women.
I feel like even the guys who say they would rather have a complex than bubbly female dont in actuality. Sort of like women who say they dont like bad boys...

Its kind of like in White Oleander, where the guy leaves the mom for a much less interesting and attractive woman and she cries and tells her daughter that she is too complicated for men.
my body is a cage is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:53 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 36,435
Journal Entries: 2
Grrrr...why is the assumption that bubbly women, aren't complex, deep or real? I beg to differ...
Trialbyfire is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:53 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 104
You are very negative and judgmental. That is what is keeping guy's away from you, hon.
Marin is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:55 PM   #9
Unconfirmed Account
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,116
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFonz View Post
I think most everyone is attracted to bubbly or outgoing people. Women are usually attracted to bubbly guys even if they're not bubbly themselves. I think most guys want a girl to be bubbly with him and not every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along. A lot of guys distrust and resent those girls. And like you resent the fakeness of those girls, some guys resent guys they see as being full of thmselves and who get a lot of women.

As you pointed out, sometimes opposites attract. But sometimes they do not. Do you find yourself attracted to non-bubbly guys? If so, maybe you should find more guys similar to you.
Well, I'm not attracted to bubbly people. I like people who are balanced -- not too negative or positive. And I disagree that women are attracted to bubbly guys. In fact the only guys I've met who could be termed "bubbly" are usually gay. There's a difference between outgoing and bubbly. One can be outgoing and not bubbly.
shadowplay is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:56 PM   #10
Unconfirmed Account
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,116
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire View Post
Grrrr...why is the assumption that bubbly women, aren't complex, deep or real? I beg to differ...
Maybe we have a different definition of bubbly. I'm talking about women who are NOT complex, deep or reflective, and deny negativity to the point of delusion. Somebody can be passionate, energetic and outgoing but not "bubbly."
shadowplay is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:56 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Male, 55, in Sunny Cali
Posts: 35,198
Journal Entries: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowplay View Post
Yes. Thanks!

It's good to know there are guys out there who appreciate more complex women.

I just wish I understood why so many men are drawn to that type. Or maybe I just hang out in the wrong circles.
Yes, there are men who honestly appreciate and are attracted to the complexity of such a woman as you say you are. Like you, they aren't obvious. The trick is, just as for the man, you have to take notice of the males you're blowing by to get to that charismatic, good-looking, somewhat aloof man you're naturally attracted to (I'm assuming a generality here, not specific to you). The important aspect is noticing what and who is around you. I practice this at airports (I love to travel). I got over my shyness by traveling alone and talking to all sorts of people. It helps me be more aware.

My main problem is getting women to bring up all that stuff past the socialization, conditioning and prior relationship baggage. I am hopeful, even for having friends (as I'm married)
carhill is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:57 PM   #12
Cov
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 503
Bubbly women aren't always bubbly and the same goes for women who walk around like they a corspe, however I'd much rather be around someone who is upbeat and cheerful than someone who is negative, cliched and down right tiresome.

Excessive amounts of chipperness and an excessive amount of negativity annoys the heck out of me, but I'd sooner be around a jolly, laid back and positive person than a person who feels sorry for themselves and wants to gain draw attention to themselves.
Cov is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:59 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 36,435
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowplay View Post
Maybe we have a different definition of bubbly. I'm talking about women who are NOT complex, deep or reflective, and deny negativity to the point of delusion. Somebody can be passionate, energetic and outgoing but not "bubbly."
Since I've been told by multiple people IRL, that I do come across as bubbly, we must have a different definition...
Trialbyfire is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 4:59 PM   #14
Unconfirmed Account
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 8,116
Journal Entries: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cov View Post
Bubbly women aren't always bubbly and the same goes for women who walk around like they a corspe, however I'd much rather be around someone who is upbeat and cheerful than someone who is negative, cliched and down right tiresome.

Excessive amounts of chipperness and an excessive amount of negativity annoys the heck out of me, but I'd sooner be around a jolly, laid back and positive person than a person who feels sorry for themselves and wants to gain draw attention to themselves.
What I'm trying to get at is there's a happy inbetween. Of course somebody who's depressed is no fun to be around. But I find men are usually attracted to one extreme. Most don't seek out reflective, complex women. They may go for women who are smart but superficial.
shadowplay is offline  
Old 6th April 2008, 5:00 PM   #15
Cov
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 503
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowplay View Post
Maybe we have a different definition of bubbly. I'm talking about women who are NOT complex, deep or reflective, and deny negativity to the point of delusion. Somebody can be passionate, energetic and outgoing but not "bubbly."

You're just bitter against these women for some reason, then again I have been unhappy a few times and almost became resentful of people who always seemed happy.

And it's actually harder to be happy and content then it is to be miserable and depressing. It's easy to fall into the trap of wallowing in one's negative emotions, it's harder to pick yourself up, and dust yourself up and keep on walking with a hopeful heart and a cute smile.

Bitterness, depression and misery has no depth, in fact it's a complete waste of our time.
Cov is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Filthy Rich with NO Women or Dirty Poor with 100s of Women Huggins293 General Relationship Discussion 10 16th October 2005 10:34 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:11 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.