dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I was just curious about this. 3 out of 4 of my relationships, all guys who are around the same age as me (late 20's) going for 18-21 year olds - with me as the exception. What's up with that? One told me that they make him feel younger as he was feeling old. Are 18 - 21 year old girls actually mature enough for a man looking for more then just fun? Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I'm 31, and I'd have trouble even dating someone 22-25. Even at that age, the girls don't really know what they want in a guy, and that's asking for trouble. They need to mature a little. I know there are exceptions and there are some mature 18-25 year olds, but I certainly haven't dated any of them. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I think a lot of time men (and sometimes women) date younger people because it makes the relationship seem less serious, makes them feel like they have the upperhand, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 I think a lot of time men (and sometimes women) date younger people because it makes the relationship seem less serious, makes them feel like they have the upperhand, etc. I thought this until one of them got serious with a 21 year old girl who happened to be already pregnant. They hooked up last Sept and are already engaged to be married for next Sept. Link to post Share on other sites
Angels&Airwaves Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I'm actually attracted to older women, not younger, but saying that my ex was about a year and nine months younger than me when we dated last year. I tend to go for women a few years older and maybe a year younger, but that's only on the rare occasion. Link to post Share on other sites
coasterchris Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 In general, men desire to feel important. A younger, less experienced woman gives us an opportunity to "teach", even when we aren't good at it. This is straight out of "Men are From Mars...". Those with such a narrow focus do miss out on the learning opportunities that an older woman can instill in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Can't speak to the OP's age group, but IMO older men (by that I mean men my age, near 50) like younger women, especially for dating/fun, because there's less emotional baggage to deal with. Most women our age have a lifetime of experience and issues we have to wade through. I prefer women my age because I love their complexity, but just speaking to the "typical" guy who just wants to date and have fun. Also, single women in the 20-30 age range these days are less likely to have children, due to women focusing more on career and education, so, again, less complex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 In general, men desire to feel important. A younger, less experienced woman gives us an opportunity to "teach", even when we aren't good at it. This is straight out of "Men are From Mars...". Those with such a narrow focus do miss out on the learning opportunities that an older woman can instill in their life. So in a sense, some of these men wish to have the control in the relationship? I've also noticed that 2 out of the 3 that prefer younger girls have tried to pull a few things over on me. Such as trying to meet those younger girls behind my back - manipulation, guilt trips, ect ect - so in some cases perhaps they want a girl who will be more likely to fall for those lil white lies and such. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 So in a sense, some of these men wish to have the control in the relationship? No "in a sense" about it Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 No "in a sense" about it LOL I always enjoy reading your posts carhill Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 So in a sense, some of these men wish to have the control in the relationship? I've also noticed that 2 out of the 3 that prefer younger girls have tried to pull a few things over on me. Such as trying to meet those younger girls behind my back - manipulation, guilt trips, ect ect - so in some cases perhaps they want a girl who will be more likely to fall for those lil white lies and such. I can think of a few legitimate reasons (other than "she's hot") why a guy would want a younger girl: 1) No baggage, no kids. 2) More willing to have fun, stay out, etc. 3) The guy may want more children that an older woman cannot or is not willing to provide (understandably so). Not everything is so the guy can screw over the girl. C'mon. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I agree with NuTu. I dunno. I think there may be control issues with some men who date younger women, but sometimes it's just who you happen to fall in love with. God knows - my mom was 22 years younger than my Dad, but she DEFINITELY wore the pants in that relationship, so I'm 100% sure it wasn't about control in their case. Of course my mom was very mature for her age. She grew up in a war-torn third world country and had to support her family at an early age. And my Dad was pretty old by the time he settled down. If he had married a woman his age he wouldn't have been able to have kids, which was a big goal for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 I can think of a few legitimate reasons (other than "she's hot") why a guy would want a younger girl: 1) No baggage, no kids. 2) More willing to have fun, stay out, etc. 3) The guy may want more children that an older woman cannot or is not willing to provide (understandably so). Not everything is so the guy can screw over the girl. C'mon. I know this - which is why I used the word SOME Also - in my age bracket - those three reasons are less likely. Perhaps the less baggage - but I don't have kids, I'm willing to have fun, and I'm not even close to the "not willing or unable to have kids" area. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 I agree with NuTu. I dunno. I think there may be control issues with some men who date younger women, but sometimes it's just who you happen to fall in love with. God knows - my mom was 22 years younger than my Dad, but she DEFINITELY wore the pants in that relationship, so I'm 100% sure it wasn't about control in their case. Of course my mom was very mature for her age. She grew up in a war-torn third world country and had to support her family at an early age. And my Dad was pretty old by the time he settled down. If he had married a woman his age he wouldn't have been able to have kids, which was a big goal for him. Understandably so - but that isn't the case with men in their late 20's Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 (edited) Maybe you're in an area where women are waiting to have children. In my area, it's rare that a woman past the age of 23 or so does not have children. The woman I'm dating had her daughter at the age of 20, and 100% of the women I work with (20 or so women) in that age range (22-35) have children. And the women in their 30's who have children where I work have teenagers, meaning they had the children at a young age as well. 99% of the attractive women I browsed when I was doing the online dating thing had children. Again, could just be my area. Edited March 13, 2008 by NuTuDating Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Maybe you're in an area where women are waiting to have children. In my area, it's rare that a woman past the age of 23 or so does not have children. The woman I'm dating had her daughter at the age of 20, and 100% of the women I work with (20 or so women) in that age range (22-35) have children. 99% of the attractive women I browsed when I was doing the online dating thing had children. Again, could just be my area. Very possible. Actually around here it's kind of even. There's a good mix for both. One of my exes who liked the younger girls already had a son - and voiced he didn't want anymore kids for quite a while. He wasn't trying to have a child either - it was an "accident". Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Oh yeah, lots of "accidents" here, too. There are more women with two children by two different fathers than there should be. I see that all the time and work with a few. It's almost like unless you live in a big city, the girls & guys seem to graduate high school and start reproducing a year later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Oh geeze we got that beat - our young child producers start while IN school. I will say though that the one who is marrying the pregnant one did voice he felt old and wanted to start a family - but it just seems kind of rash to jump into a relationship with a girl who was 2 months pregnant by another man and get engaged and what not. This man also had some deep issues - he had a cutting problem - got stressed, sliced his arm. I hope for the sake of this girl and her soon to be son - he wont get stressed with them and start that up again. But there are plenty of women in my area that don't have children but have no problem with having them when they are ready. I'd say it's about a 40/60 mix - 40 with kids 60 with out. Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I take it you're in a larger area maybe? I did have two dates with a girl a year ago and she told me she was pregnant on the second date. I was like, WTF? Two months pregnant or so, and you're ready to move on to a new relationship? Wow. Hopefully the man you're talking about is getting some help with those issues. Everyone gets stressed, but attempting something like that is serious. Hope he's better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Actually I'm in south east Wisconsin. Small towns and larger cities, it's pretty much like that. It seems as though you either start young or you wait for the right time. I myself should have a 7 year old boy - I'm 26 - and got pregnant at 19 - but wasn't able to carry to term. That was an accident too! Yeah I hope he has gotten help for that as well, although I know through a coke addiction and other things - he never sought out help, just tried to let things pass. It does seem like wtf - how do you jump into a relationship after only 2 months of being pregnant. And I couldn't imagine getting engaged that quick either with that situation. I would be concerned of bringing a child into a relationship that happened "overnight". But to each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
peace_pipe Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I was just curious about this. 3 out of 4 of my relationships, all guys who are around the same age as me (late 20's) going for 18-21 year olds - with me as the exception. What's up with that? One told me that they make him feel younger as he was feeling old. Are 18 - 21 year old girls actually mature enough for a man looking for more then just fun? I go for younger girls because they are untainted by all of the crap in the world and it's usually easier for them to open up. They have no baggage, so the time spent together tends to be really fun. It wears off after a while for me, if the conversation is routinely superficial (which it usually is with young women). In short, they are easy to have fun with... Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I also read women hit their sexual peak in their mid 30's. Maybe the guys want to know it will last a while! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamergrl Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 LOL - forget that, mine's going to last till I'm 60 Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 LOL - forget that, mine's going to last till I'm 60 Same here. Link to post Share on other sites
Balthazar Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Greetings all! I'd like to give another perspective on the issue of younger women, one which many may be familiar with. Before proceeding, I will agree with the points made by Nu and others i.e that we prefer younger women because they are more fun , carefree, less/no emotional baggage, etc. However, if scientists are to be believed, there are strong biological reasons why men gravitate towards younger women. Young women are more likely to bear children, and healthier children at that. After all, a woman's ovaries age with her. Thus, the ovaries of a 35 year old woman cannot be in the condition of those of a 20 year old, especially considering environmental pollution compounded by the unhealthy lifestyle of many woman nowadays. Similarly, women who are above child bearing age are often not attractive to men because their age no longer allows for childbirth. Thus, the young, 18-21 year old is more biologically attractive to us because she is more likely to bear us strong, healthy offspring. And Nature wants strong , healthy children because that is how a species survives. It is a biological calling which is hardwired into the male brain. So, according to science, it is actually very natural and healthy for men to be attracted to younger women; the younger the better in fact(within reason)! As far as I am concerned, I am definitely attracted to younger women(I am 37). In fact, I am currently dating a 21 year old. She is mature beyond her years yet I fully realize that the future is uncertain due to her age. However, I can also attest to the fact that when I look at her youthful body, my mind in on her bearing children! SO maybe the scientists are right after all! My 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
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