Compliments

[Sand&Water]

I want to bring this to light, because I think it is important to know when enough is enough.

 

Since day one, I mean day one, of meeting this man I have had the privilege of hearing him constantly rain compliments. Every which way -left, right, center, downwards, and upwards as well.

 

The way he goes about complimenting me is synonymous to an asteroid hitting planet Earth. I am not sure if he is aware of this, BUT I am aware of it all.

 

At first I was nice about it, but now it has become annoying. It is intoxicating. I am literally suffocating here.

 

He continues to do it, and I don't know how to confront him about it.

 

What do I say? How do I bring this up?

 

I would be and am uncomfortable dealing with such an issue. Quite frankly, men should know that there IS a saturation point. Men take note.

 

Sand&Water

[Ocean-Blue]

I want to bring this to light, because I think it is important to know when enough is enough.

 

Since day one, I mean day one, of meeting this man I have had the privilege of hearing him constantly rain compliments. Every which way -left, right, center, downwards, and upwards as well.

 

The way he goes about complimenting me is synonymous to an asteroid hitting planet Earth. I am not sure if he is aware of this, BUT I am aware of it all.

 

At first I was nice about it, but now it has become annoying. It is intoxicating. I am literally suffocating here.

 

He continues to do it, and I don't know how to confront him about it.

 

What do I say? How do I bring this up?

 

I would be and am uncomfortable dealing with such an issue. Quite frankly, men should know that there IS a saturation point. Men take note.

 

Sand&Water

 

So why not tell him to relax with the constant praise?

[SeraBella]

I don't know. I once dated a guy like that, too. It was when I was a teenager, though, and I didn't really know how to handle it. I LOVED hearing compliments, but it was like, so often you didn't even believe them. I was afraid of saying anything because I had no idea how to say it without sounding rude and unappreciative.

 

I just started ignoring him. I didn't even have the decency to end it.

 

A couple years ago he contacted me and we hung out a few times. He was still the same way. This time, though, he ended up ending things with me. He started dating a friend of a friend who had REALLY low self esteem. They seem to really be doing well.

 

Maybe your guy needs someone with low self esteem?

[Ocean-Blue]

OR maybe he had an ex who was a total psycho and dumped him b/c he didn't compliment her enough.

 

Or maybe he is lying and wants to get into your pants.

 

Or perhaps he really does think you're stunning and fantabulous and can't get enough of you (and is going overboard).

 

Whatever the case, TALK to him. Tell him to back off.

 

And if that doesn't work...try slapping him everytime he does his thing. That should put an end to it.

[maynicholas]

Tell him:

if he keeps complimenting you so much you will start to think be does that to all the ladies and you just won't be able to enjoy them as much, because when it's raining diamonds they just seem to lose their sparkle.

 

oh- and say it in your best Scarlette O'Hara then he can't possibly be hurt be the comment - but in truth it should open up a line of communication about the matter while keeping it light and nonoffensive.

[Lucasarts]

interesting. . . cause I'm quite the opposite. I rarely give compliments, unless the moment is right. The best part about it is, most girls expect me to compliment them on one thing yet I compliment them on something they never expected (which makes it that much more wholesome and gratifying). The scarcity of the compliments also helps to maximize the effect it has, because I'm really being genuine about it.

 

I guess one way to handle your situation would be to question his compliments.

 

Ask him if he honestly thinks that your pants are nice, or you're really pretty, or whatever (this'll have him constantly explaining to you his reasons for the compliments). The point of this is to make him hate giving you so many compliments b/c he knows he'll have to end up telling you why he said them. (I hate when a girl asks me to repeat a compliment, nevermind EXPLAIN why I gave her one). The only negative is that he'll think less of you (a positive if that is what you want) and probably won't talk to you as much.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Thank you, everyone, for the responses.

So why not tell him to relax with the constant praise?

Oh Boy!

 

I have tried, several times, to no avail. I made it clear at the start that I am uncomfortable having to deal, react and respond to his compliments and behavior.

 

But, he is hard-pressed. On occasion I try to down-play his "Compliments" and 'Feelings", yet he continues to do it. I almost always inject a bit of humor or light play into it, explaining that I am not this or that way, but he quickly makes it into a serious note.

 

The one thing I am trying to dismantle is the "heavy infatuation giddy you are wonderful I adore you" ball of feelings.

 

Prognosis so far: He is still giddy. What do I do now? I am thinking about actually giving up on him. Believe it or not.

 

Sand&Water