So, what are my chances...

[Lexicon]

Hey folks,

 

I saw this girl at a work party thing the other night, and was instantly attracted to her, but circumstances were such that I never said a word to her (don't know anyone that knows her etc - total stranger, and I was busy talking to others too).

 

So I left the shindig (was at a mall), and just thought to myself that it was just another one of those many occasions where you see a girl you think you might like but nothing ever happens. Pretty normal, right?

 

Anyway 10 minutes later as I was walking around the mall alone I hear an "excuse me" from behind and turn around to find this same girl. She knew my name somehow (said she overheard it), and we got talking. Round to the subject of talking about work and she passed me her contact details without me asking for it or anything. Said our goodbyes.

 

Called her the next day to chat a little and arrange a date. There was a bit of an urgency to this, as I am going away to Australia for a month in a few days time, so I didn't want to leave it hanging for too long. Also, it's a busy time of year, so if I left it too late finding a spare moment might have been difficult.

 

Spoke for a few minutes, went okay. Lots of laughter. She said yes, date arranged. Few hours before the date I left a voicemail (no answer) to confirm some stuff, no reply. SMSed a while later (because it was getting urgent now!), no reply. An hour later I get a reply saying she was caught up with some unexpected work thing, apologised and asked for a rain check.

 

I wasn't so sure about anything at this stage anymore, so I was nice and said okay, and left the ball in her court to let me know if she ever wants to meet up. She replied with an okay, some further apologies, and that's it.

 

This was only yesterday.

 

So, gurus, what is your assessment? I'm thinking, just forget about her. If she wants to call back she will, otherwise assume there's nothing and just drop it. Another part of me says what the heck, go for it, have nothing to lose in case she has cold feet or something. Thing that makes me think that it might be worth it is that she approached me, but I also don't want to waste emotional space on something that ain't happening.

 

Thoughts?

 

Thanks,

L

[Lovegod]

She asked for a rain check, so take her up on it. I usually go with a "3 strikes your out" rule when it comes to women flaking.

 

Also, when you make solid date plans, there's no need to confirm anything. If she can't make it, she'll let you know. If she stands you up, ditch her and move on.

[Lexicon]

Nah, it wasn't a solid plan. Day and time of day, yes, but beyond that I said I'd call her back to fix it. Mistake on my part.

 

Thanks!

[Lizzie60]

Hum... this is really up to you... if you feel like calling her, call her... if you want to wait for her, since you told her that the ball was in her camp, then you can wait.

 

One way or the other, methink she is not that interested... otherwise she wouldn't have cancelled it... or maybe you can give her the benefit of the doubt...

 

you'll find out soon enough if she's not interested..

[SouthernT]

Amazing...when a girl shows interest and takes a guy up on his offers, eventually HE is the one that looses interest.

 

All she's doing is limiting the amount of time that she's available to you so that you dont loose interest and she probably is busy.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

I agree with Lizzie.

 

She's probably not all that interested if she cancelled.

 

But you can try and talk to her (not just to set up a new date), just to chat a bit, see what you sense from there, and remind her of the rain check.

 

>what are my chances...

 

(80/20)

 

Good luck,

 

Ariadne

[Dynamo]

OP, I wouldn't worry about it (yet). After all, she chased YOU down and gave you her contact information, that's an obvious sign that she's interested in you. She took some initiative, and I think for both sexes that is a definite sign of interest.

She might really have had to canceled.

I'd give her another chance, if she blows you off again then say adios.

[AriaIncognito]

Nothing to lose at this point, see if she takes you up on the raincheck. Maybe leave it hanging while you're in Australia and then when you come back, see if she made contact.

 

It's possible (if it was right after a work day) that she got tied up at work, but I've got a red flag because if she knew you guys were meeting, why wouldn't she have called before you were to meet (or was this not set up totally) to say she was held up? If there was no concrete time, then I'd remove the red flag. if there was a time, and she waited until well after it, I'd say be cautious.

[Lexicon]

No concrete time or place. Just a day and lunch agreed on, which is why I called (to confirm specifics). She said she pulled an all-nighter unexpectedly and needed the sleep. I believe her.

 

Maybe I'm just being an ass. I guess I'm just being careful, because in the past I have had a tendency to be too headstrong and end up burnt. Once bitten, twice shy etc.

 

I guess I'll wait to see if she rearranges. I just don't want to play the game so much to the point where all interest is lost.

 

Thanks for all the replies.

[Krytie TV]

I firmly believe everyone deserves one free pass. This early in a relationship though, one pass is more than enough. We all have things happen, you just don't want to give time to someone who has things happen all the time.

 

I recently got a number from a girl I met through a mutual friend. I called her a couple days later and left a voicemail and got no response. I decided to give it one more shot a week and a half later, and we talked for a while and arranged a date. We've been on 2 dates and have talked often. All indications are that we like each other and I haven't seen any of that "blowoff" behavior since. So this is a case of successfully giving a second chance. You just never know.