artemis32 Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 I wanted to link a post that would give a little insight, but I couldn't find it. I'll try to keep a long story short. Soo.. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. I moved in with him and one of his family member a few months ago. I love him. Not the kind of love for someone I've felt before. More of a deep respect and understanding. It's not the kind of love where the heart skips a beat when you see them. But I really do care for him deeply. The Pros: He's super supportive of anything I do (a new hobby or when I decided to change careers). He loves me very much. He listens and offers advice. He'll help in any way he can. The Cons: He's clingy and smothering. I don't have any "alone" time and I get bothered by constant mushiness. Don't get me wrong, a little love is great, but constant can be a little bothersome like when I'm trying to work or sleep. He's messy and his hygiene has slipped. He doesn't shower everyday, and sometimes you can really tell. Sometimes it's embarrassing when we're out and about. I've been doing his laundry now bc I can't stand dirty clothes (he'll wear them for days at a time). He has income but not a steady job (He sells refurbs from home and is a musician). He won't admit it but he gets moody when I try to go out to see my friends (which is not often at all anymore). He can't go out by law right now and makes me feel guilty when I try to see my friends. Why I feel trapped.. I get moody with all the constant mushiness. I feel really bad sometimes, but I can't help it. It's just my reaction. I miss my alone time. I miss my friends. It's almost like he can't stand to be alone. I'm having financial probs and can't afford to get my own place. They (him and his family) insisted on helping me get new transportation. Flat out said they wouldn't take no for an answer. Now, I owe for that. We don't have a sex life anymore. And if we are intimate, honestly, it's quite boring. Most of the time he can't finish. I thought at first he had a prob with me, but now I'm thinking its a mental or physical prob. Anyway, I've shyed away from trying and now I don't really have any desire (believe me, that's really unlike me). And to top it all off, he's closely associated with an ex of mine, whom I can't stand and don't like to see or hear about. He'll talk about who this person's trying to date or who he's screwing over now and I really don't want to hear it. ::sigh:: I just don't know what to do. It so nice to have someone who is so supportive and loving, but the down side is really getting to me. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Please elaborate on the "he cannot go out by law" thing. Link to post Share on other sites
gman0hsev Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Yeah just tell him that you need some alone time and that you miss your friends. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you need to spend every minute with him. And the he can't leave his house by law thing is kinda worrisome...... i'm assuming he is under house arrest, but what for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author artemis32 Posted September 23, 2007 Author Share Posted September 23, 2007 thanks for replying. well, it's not house arrest.. it's probation for dwi. it's almost over. he plays it safe and doesn't go out. i'm hoping some things will get better once he's off the probation. Link to post Share on other sites
MikeC Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 If you 2 were in a true relationship, you would be more open with him. Isn't this the point of being with someone? Tell him what you have said on here. Let him know how you feel and see where it goes. It would be better than letting it eat away at you. Link to post Share on other sites
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