He slept with a prostitute

[lynsdt]

I've just started seeing a guy who one of my mate's set me up with (he's a mate of her husbands). We get on great and everyone thinks were well suited. We're even going on a holiday in a couple of weeks with my mate, her fella and a few more of his mates.

He lives about 80 miles away from me and works abroad alot for weeks at a time so I don't get to see him much. I was chatting to my friend about him yesterday and she told me something that I think has changed my opinion of him.

A few years ago, he was working away and slept with a prostitute. He only did it once and said he 'just wanted some'.

He also stuck his tongue inbetween some lapdancer's legs when she crouched down really low whilst dancing on the bar in front of him! He doesn't know I know about this but I can't get the though of it out of my head. Also, how do know he wouldn't do it again when he's away for a few weeks?

 

Should I be bothered about this as it was before we met? Or is it only certain types of blokes who would do this type of thing? I'm certainly not a prude, we all have a past. He wasn't seeing anyone at the time but it's really shocked me that he would do that.

 

What does evereyone else think?

 

I could do with a bit of advice please

[Woggle]

He was single and wanted some quick and easy action. It's no big deal as long as he doesn't do it while you two are dating.

[get.mos]

well, are you two exclusively dating? "officially BF GF," though i hate to ask that. i mean, this is something in the past, and, as you've said, we've all done things that are not our proudest moments, though the past has a tendency to rear it's ugly head.

[Lizzie60]

Also, how do know he wouldn't do it again when he's away for a few weeks?

 

You won't know that...

 

Should I be bothered about this as it was before we met?

 

I wouldn't.

 

Or is it only certain types of blokes who would do this type of thing?

 

Nope, all kinds of men sleep with prostitutes.. amazing good-looking guys and also some ugly losers... LOL

 

I bet a lot of women would be stunned if they only knew what their man is hiding (and vice-versa)...

[sweetbutcheeky]

A few years ago, he was working away and slept with a prostitute. He only did it once and said he 'just wanted some'.

He also stuck his tongue inbetween some lapdancer's legs when she crouched down really low whilst dancing on the bar in front of him! He doesn't know I know about this but I can't get the though of it out of my head. Also, how do know he wouldn't do it again when he's away for a few weeks?

 

Though it's not the picture you want in your head, but it was in the past before you. Same goes that you don't want to know sexual details (relationships) with past partners about the person your dating.

 

Shocked maybe, but it shouldn't bother you. If you think he would do it again while dating you or in a relationship with you, then that's a totally different situation. Has to do with trust and cheating. Just cause he went to a prostitute doesn't mean he is a cheater, as far as I know he was single at the time,

 

As long as he was protected then I think it shouldn't bother you. But easy for me to say.

[Star Gazer]

Personally, I'd never date a guy who slept with a prostitute or stripper.

[sweetbutcheeky]

Personally, I'd never date a guy who slept with a prostitute or stripper.

 

How would you know you haven't?

[sb129]

I think everyone deserves to be considered upon their current merits as opposed to their previous behaviour.

 

Just because he did it once doesn't mean he will do it again, especially as he was single at the time.

 

However, if you feel that you can't overlook it, and that it will always be on your mind, then it might become an issue for you both.

 

If I am to be completely honest, I wouldn't be that comfortable with it, but people do make mistakes, and if he is the kind of guy you want to get know better, that one fact shouldn't stop you.

[Star Gazer]

How would you know you haven't?

 

My response obviously implied knowledge. If you'd like, go ahead and insert "who I knew" between "who" and "slept."

 

Obviously I could end up dating someone who had and who lied to me about it, but if I learned the truth that would be the end of the relationship - not only because of the dishonesty but because of his actions.

[Enema]

So he paid a professional for quick relief instead of spending hours feeding drinks to some skank at a bar....

 

You should be more interested in him for his practicality.

 

(I know, I know... but nice try right?)

[clatan]

I don't understand why the fact that a guy slept with a prostitute before he was dating a woman, and was even single and unattached at the time, is a big deal. At least not when, at the same time, most people would think nothing of it if he had a one-night-stand or slept with a girl who he'd had a short term relationship with.

 

The bottom line to me is that he wasn't married to either woman. I'm not defending prostitution, but unmarried sex is unmarried sex. Like another poster mentioned, sleeping with a prostitute is just as wrong, but probably more practical and less troublesome than a short term relationship or one-night-stand. He didn't get some girl drunk and lie to use her, or maybe even knock her up.

 

And by the way, every time I read posts on this subject someone mentions STDs. Well, many studies show that on average, you'd be a lot less likely to get a disease from a prostitute than from a lot of other girls out there.

[clatan]

In fact, I'm really curious to hear this from someone. Can someone explain in detail exactly why a guy who, hypothetically, sleeps with a few prostitutes years ago when he was totally single is worse than a guy that has dated and slept with several women. I'd just like to hear the rational behind this opinion because I hear it so much and don't get it.

[Lizzie60]

I don't understand why the fact that a guy slept with a prostitute before he was dating a woman, and was even single and unattached at the time, is a big deal. At least not when, at the same time, most people would think nothing of it if he had a one-night-stand or slept with a girl who he'd had a short term relationship with.

 

The bottom line to me is that he wasn't married to either woman. I'm not defending prostitution, but unmarried sex is unmarried sex. Like another poster mentioned, sleeping with a prostitute is just as wrong, but probably more practical and less troublesome than a short term relationship or one-night-stand. He didn't get some girl drunk and lie to use her, or maybe even knock her up.

 

And by the way, every time I read posts on this subject someone mentions STDs. Well, many studies show that on average, you'd be a lot less likely to get a disease from a prostitute than from a lot of other girls out there.

 

Well said... I agree..

 

ps: I also agree with the STDs statement... I heard that too, the percentage is smaller probably cause they get checked more often than other people... not sure.

 

Nice pic btw...

 

Hang around, we need more 'open-minded' people like you...

[Touche]

In fact, I'm really curious to hear this from someone. Can someone explain in detail exactly why a guy who, hypothetically, sleeps with a few prostitutes years ago when he was totally single is worse than a guy that has dated and slept with several women. I'd just like to hear the rational behind this opinion because I hear it so much and don't get it.

 

Personally, I don't think it's worse.

[Touche]

I think everyone deserves to be considered upon their current merits as opposed to their previous behaviour.

 

Just because he did it once doesn't mean he will do it again, especially as he was single at the time.

 

However, if you feel that you can't overlook it, and that it will always be on your mind, then it might become an issue for you both.

 

If I am to be completely honest, I wouldn't be that comfortable with it, but people do make mistakes, and if he is the kind of guy you want to get know better, that one fact shouldn't stop you.

 

I agree 100% with that.

[IpAncA]

What does evereyone else think?

 

True the past is the past and people make mistakes but come on, a prostitute? Who knows what else he's been doing.

[mental_traveller]

If he was single at the time, then there's no reason to think he would do that when in a relationship.

 

I don't see the big deal, but some people are prudish about that kind of thing. You just have to ask yourself whether it bothers you enough to want to stop seeing him.

[InLimbo2]

a quote I heard correlates your post - "you don't pay a hooker for sex, you pay her to leave"

 

 

I don't understand why the fact that a guy slept with a prostitute before he was dating a woman, and was even single and unattached at the time, is a big deal. At least not when, at the same time, most people would think nothing of it if he had a one-night-stand or slept with a girl who he'd had a short term relationship with.

 

The bottom line to me is that he wasn't married to either woman. I'm not defending prostitution, but unmarried sex is unmarried sex. Like another poster mentioned, sleeping with a prostitute is just as wrong, but probably more practical and less troublesome than a short term relationship or one-night-stand. He didn't get some girl drunk and lie to use her, or maybe even knock her up.

 

And by the way, every time I read posts on this subject someone mentions STDs. Well, many studies show that on average, you'd be a lot less likely to get a disease from a prostitute than from a lot of other girls out there.

[Touche]

True the past is the past and people make mistakes but come on, a prostitute? Who knows what else he's been doing.

 

Just because someone has been with a prostitute in the past doesn't mean they did anything else. As long as the person is honest about their past, I wouldn't worry about it.

[clatan]

Well said... I agree..

 

ps: I also agree with the STDs statement... I heard that too, the percentage is smaller probably cause they get checked more often than other people... not sure. Nice pic btw... Hang around, we need more 'open-minded' people like you...

 

I suppose it can depend. If you're talking brothels and escort services, especially in countries where it's legal, it's a lot safer. They're professionals and deal with the risk every day. But then again, if you hang out at the truck stop parking lot, I'd say all bets are off.

 

And thanks Lizzie, you've got a pretty stunning photo yourself! I'll be talking to you

[Touche]

I suppose it can depend. If you're talking brothels and escort services, especially in countries where it's legal, it's a lot safer. They're professionals and deal with the risk every day. But then again, if you hang out at the truck stop parking lot, I'd say all bets are off.

 

And thanks Lizzie, you've got a pretty stunning photo yourself! I'll be talking to you

 

:lmao::laugh:

[Yamaha]

My response obviously implied knowledge. If you'd like, go ahead and insert "who I knew" between "who" and "slept."

 

Obviously I could end up dating someone who had and who lied to me about it, but if I learned the truth that would be the end of the relationship - not only because of the dishonesty but because of his actions.

 

How about if he slept with a business women and she liked to dress up in costume and role play? I guess my point is, why only the strippers and prostitutes?

[IpAncA]

True that doesn't mean they did anything else but still....

 

I guess I view this different then a lot of people do. Must be a common thing to the point where people are okay with it.

[Touche]

True that doesn't mean they did anything else but still....

 

I guess I view this different then a lot of people do. Must be a common thing to the point where people are okay with it.

 

I don't know how common it is but I just don't see it as a crime like robbing a bank or stealing an old woman's purse or anything. If it were something that a man did before he met me, I wouldn't have a problem in the world with it. I can sure think of WAY worse things a man could be/do...like a cheater and a liar. I'll take a man who has admitted to me that he was once with a prostitute before I'd take a liar and a cheater and an abuser..etc.

 

But that's just me.

[IpAncA]

I don't know how common it is but I just don't see it as a crime like robbing a bank or stealing an old woman's purse or anything. If it were something that a man did before he met me, I wouldn't have a problem in the world with it. I can sure think of WAY worse things a man could be/do...like a cheater and a liar. I'll take a man who has admitted to me that he was once with a prostitute before I'd take a liar and a cheater and an abuser..etc.

 

But that's just me.

 

Yes but those are just things that are worse than that. No one wants to be with a liar, cheater, or abuser even though it happends. Compair that to the lesser and prostitute loses. Then again it comes down to the individual and whether or not that's important or something they can't live with.

 

IMO I wouldn't take them at all. The only way and you all can quote me on this is IF he admitted he did and realized it was a mistake. IF he deemed it as okay then he's not someone worth being with.