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My boyfriend's divorce won't end!


Italygirl1981

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Italygirl1981

My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months and his divorce just won't end.

 

We started dating in June 2006. He told me he had been seperated from his wife for over a year and that she was living 7 hours away from us with his young child. They had only been married for a short time while he was in the military and it had been very tumultulous...she left numerous times. But when we started dating, I told him that it was very, very important to me for him to be divorced. So last July he re-contacted his attorney and got the ball rolling. Well it's not August 2007 and he's still not divorced. His wife, despite being 7 hours away, plays horrific games. She's refusing to sign the final divorce decree that they had agreed upon in a 4 hour mediation simply to be difficult. It's never ending. There was no property to be split, to assets to discuss, just child support for one minor child and minimal credit card debt. It's going to a judge now...it's been very frustrating. My boyfriend and I talk about getting married ourselves, but I cannot imagine having to deal with his wife for the rest of my life, which I would have to due to his child. I'm so frustrated that my feelings for him are clouded.

 

Help?! Any advice!?

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mental_traveller

Advice? Sure - if you don't want to deal with the hassles of divorce, then don't go out with guys who aren't divorced yet. If you don't want to deal with exes, don't go out with guys who have kids by their exes.

 

Pretty simple really. If you want a relationship without baggage, go for a guy who has no kids and is either cleanly divorced or better still has not got married in the first place.

 

Since you didn't do that, and got involved in a more complicated situation with baggage, then if you wanna stay with this guy, I'm afraid you will have to just deal with it. Encourage him to keep the divorce moving, grit your teeth, hold your tongue and bear it. It should be over in another 6 months or so. As for visitation, you should discuss that with him and explain how you want the ex out of the picture as much as possible. So he goes to pick up the kid, then leaves, and says nothing more than hello & goodbye and small talk with the ex.

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