RyTom21 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 This question is for all the women out there. When it comes to the opposite sex.... Is confidence more attractive than looks? (Be as detailed as possible with your answers!) Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 You know I spent 15 mins. typing and deleting and I can't write anything without sounding shallow. So I'll say that if I'm attracted to him, confidence will enhance it. I guess I like someone who is confident. If their not...I'm turned off and no matter how good looking they are, I'll go with someone who is confident. Link to post Share on other sites
FLOOZY Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Confidence is better than looks.. but arrogance can be a big turn off.. so I guess there is a fine line.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ernst Quale Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 It's a sad fact, but the two really go hand-in-hand. Let me explain. An ugly man usually knows he's ugly and will thus have little to no confidence, right? On the other hand, a good-looking guy will be brimming with confidence because he will have received compliments all his life. Therefore, you can't have one without the other. I am both below average-looking and below average in confidence, and I can tell you right now that the reason for the latter is the former. I have had maybe two or three females tell me I was good-looking, a few males said I was average (possibly protecting their sexuality), and several more of both genders tell me I was ugly, perhaps not with words but with rejection or dirty looks. Of course I have lost a lot of weight, but I am still ugly in the face, and I do not expect my confidence to improve even if I were to wake up one morning and be buff and fit. The low confidence is ingrained into my system and nothing can change that! Unfortunately, looks DO matter, and more than anything else in most cases. That leaves a lot of guys screwed, but that's natural selection, and there's nothing we can do about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 It's a sad fact, but the two really go hand-in-hand. Let me explain. An ugly man usually knows he's ugly and will thus have little to no confidence, right? On the other hand, a good-looking guy will be brimming with confidence because he will have received compliments all his life. Therefore, you can't have one without the other. I am both below average-looking and below average in confidence, and I can tell you right now that the reason for the latter is the former. I have had maybe two or three females tell me I was good-looking, a few males said I was average (possibly protecting their sexuality), and several more of both genders tell me I was ugly, perhaps not with words but with rejection or dirty looks. Of course I have lost a lot of weight, but I am still ugly in the face, and I do not expect my confidence to improve even if I were to wake up one morning and be buff and fit. The low confidence is ingrained into my system and nothing can change that! Unfortunately, looks DO matter, and more than anything else in most cases. That leaves a lot of guys screwed, but that's natural selection, and there's nothing we can do about it. Oh come on, have a little more faith in yourself than that. I don't think that I am Gods gift to women, but I am comfortable and happy with who I am. You can still ooze with confidence and still not be the best looking dude. Link to post Share on other sites
FLOOZY Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Judging worth by appearance, is shallow and wrong.. "pretty boys" are not a turn on and most times it is due to how they act.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ernst Quale Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Oh come on, have a little more faith in yourself than that. I don't think that I am Gods gift to women, but I am comfortable and happy with who I am. You can still ooze with confidence and still not be the best looking dude. I've been around the block, and I've seen this happen time and time again: the ugly guy gets used and the good-looking guy gets the action. Women are able to seek out the low-confidence guys usually by the way they look, and proceed to take advantage of them. And yes, I do approach all women as if they are evil, conniving sirens, because they almost always are. Sure you've got your ugly guys with confidence, but where do they end up? Getting blown off or rejected time after time again. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Unfortunately, looks DO matter, and more than anything else in most cases. That leaves a lot of guys screwed, but that's natural selection, and there's nothing we can do about it. If we're talking in terms of natural selection, and alpha status enabling you to pick and choose your mate then I would imagine that confidence is more important than looks. Of course it helps if you're good looking too. Good looks and confidence do not always go hand in hand. I was once involved with a guy who I would not have described as good looking at all, but he was full of confidence (bordering on arrogance) and that I found attractive about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I've been around the block, and I've seen this happen time and time again: the ugly guy gets used and the good-looking guy gets the action. Women are able to seek out the low-confidence guys usually by the way they look, and proceed to take advantage of them. And yes, I do approach all women as if they are evil, conniving sirens, because they almost always are. Sure you've got your ugly guys with confidence, but where do they end up? Getting blown off or rejected time after time again. Good looking guys get used as well, and the not so good looking get married as well, so lets not generalize here. Confidence is not a look, so no one can tell if someone is confident or not by looks alone. Sorry that you have been burned before, but not all women are evil. You just need to get back on that horse and try again. You have to have patience. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Confidence...most definitely. Link to post Share on other sites
Ernst Quale Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Good looking guys get used as well, and the not so good looking get married as well, so lets not generalize here. True, but they have something else going for them...starts with an m, rhymes with honey... Confidence is not a look, so no one can tell if someone is confident or not by looks alone. I'm gonna have to disagree there. Sure, you can't know for sure, but ugly guys are almost always the least confident. Sorry that you have been burned before, but not all women are evil. You just need to get back on that horse and try again. You have to have patience. I'll wait for scientific proof Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 True, but they have something else going for them...starts with an m, rhymes with honey... I'm gonna have to disagree there. Sure, you can't know for sure, but ugly guys are almost always the least confident. I'll wait for scientific proof Since when do all good looking guys have money? Plus, do you really want a girl who is interested in your money? Maybe so, but you said that women can tell if a guy is confident by his looks and that is not true. Link to post Share on other sites
Ernst Quale Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Since when do all good looking guys have money? Plus, do you really want a girl who is interested in your money? Maybe so, but you said that women can tell if a guy is confident by his looks and that is not true. No no, you misunderstood me. I didn't say all good-looking guys were wealthy, I said that if an ugly guy is married, he's probably wealthy, otherwise the woman would really have no reason to commit to him. Don't give me "personality" and "charm," because those are just adjectives that women like to tack onto their boyfriend or husband to justify their being with him. Women don't actually find those traits attractive, at least not nearly as much as looks and success. And women CAN tell if a guy is confident by his looks more often than not. Sure, if the ugly guy is gregarious and outgoing, they will steer clear of him because they know he'll be able to defend himself. But if they're reserved as they usually are, she'll either move in to take advantage of him or look for a better-looking guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 No no, you misunderstood me. I didn't say all good-looking guys were wealthy, I said that if an ugly guy is married, he's probably wealthy, otherwise the woman would really have no reason to commit to him. Don't give me "personality" and "charm," because those are just adjectives that women like to tack onto their boyfriend or husband to justify their being with him. Women don't actually find those traits attractive, at least not nearly as much as looks and success. And women CAN tell if a guy is confident by his looks more often than not. Sure, if the ugly guy is gregarious and outgoing, they will steer clear of him because they know he'll be able to defend himself. But if they're reserved as they usually are, she'll either move in to take advantage of him or look for a better-looking guy. LS has some work to do with you my friend. At least you aren't bashing women and calling them names. All I have to say is that I am in a very happy relationship and meeting her had nothing to do with money because I am a broke-as$ college student. All that it took was my personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 No no, you misunderstood me. I didn't say all good-looking guys were wealthy, I said that if an ugly guy is married, he's probably wealthy, otherwise the woman would really have no reason to commit to him. Or he could be fantastic in bed Link to post Share on other sites
Ernst Quale Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 LS has some work to do with you my friend. At least you aren't bashing women and calling them names. I can be quite a handful All I have to say is that I am in a very happy relationship and meeting her had nothing to do with money because I am a broke-as$ college student. All that it took was my personality. Well you should be thankful, you're one in a million! Or he could be fantastic in bed You don't know that until you commit to him. Unless, of course, you're a...well, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Well you should be thankful, you're one in a million! Personality wise: yes I am. I know lots of people, including here on LS who are in happy relationships. Money is not everything. You need to start looking at the glass half-full my friend. Attitude is everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 You don't know that until you commit to him. Unless, of course, you're a...well, you know. Ever heard of sexual chemistry, hell ever heard of flirting? General confidence is likely to cross over into sexual performance. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 You need to start looking at the glass half-full my friend. Attitude is everything. Self-fulfilling propehcy. If you believe that you're not good looking enough to attract the ladies and that looks are all they care out, then you're not going to attract the ladies. Not because all women care about is looks (just read the responses to this thread), but because you've already beaten yourself down. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 I think we're forgetting something very important here: Height. Confidence can make up for lack of looks and perhaps lack of height. But height can also make up for lack of looks as well as long as you're confident. As for the ugly guy, I've seen plenty of them with hot women. Maybe she has low self-esteem, maybe he asked her out when no one else did, maybe he has money. I think it's just nature's way of spreading out the gene pool diversely in a population. Link to post Share on other sites
electric_sheep Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 As we've all learned from Enron, confidence is really all that matters... till the **** hits the fan, and by then it's all too late. Link to post Share on other sites
StayClose Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 While women tend to say that confidence count more than looks, but looks cound more than confidence. Here's why: Unlike height, confidence can easily be accurately measured. You can say that one guy is 7 percent taller than another guy, but you can't say a guy is 7 percent more confident than another guy and have people agree with you. So it is not actual confidence that draws women, it is the perception of confidence. I once worked with a guy who was very good looking. He had peircing blue eyes, a masculine jaw and a lean, athletic body. Women often came in to talk about him or ask about him when he wasn't there. But he rarely dated them. Why? He was afraid. He had no confidence. He looked very confident due to his strong masculine features, but if you got to know him you knew he wasn't. On the reverse side, there are guys who are intelligent and confident, but they are nerdy looking or non-athletic, not physical features that are interpreted as "confident". They may be confident & proud of their accomplishments, they may even be social and have lots of female friends. But because of how they look they are often told "let's just be friends." So while confidence is a factor, it is not the only one. For what it's worth, here's what women REALLY respond to. It is a combination of the following factors: 1) Looks. This includes height, facial features, hair, physique and clothing. 2) Personality. This includes perceived confidence, sense of humor, charisma, social skills and other personality traits that mesh with the individual woman's personality traits. 3) Money/Status/Power. Whether or not a women will feel "chemistry" depends on the combination of the above factors. A guy who is strong in any two of the above will be successful with women even if he is weak in the third. for example: A man can be short/fat/skinny/bald/nerdy looking and still draw women if he has a charasmatic personality and a high income. A man will draw lots of women if he is good looking, has lots of money even if he is not confident/boring or abrasive. He may not keep women very long after they get to know them, but he will get them initially. A man who is broke and sporatically employed can easily hook up with women if he is good looking and has the charasmatic personality. There is who class of good-looking, funny, smooth-talking men who work very little and mostly mooch off girlfriends. Fortuntely, you can work on some of these factors. If you're short, you can't change that, but you can get new clothes, new haircut and go to the gym and improve your physique. You can also work on developing a sense of humor, confidence, social skills. You can also work on your career and growing your income. Link to post Share on other sites
Steveto Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 wow.. That's pretty superficial..though attraction I find usually is on first glance..I mean sure once you get to know someone attraction also changes, but the initial attraction, if any, is usually immediate because of physical features etc etc. I personally don't like to dress up or show that I have money or tell people I have an awesome job just for the simple fact that 9 times out of ten you attract the wrong person. I mean I don't dress like a slob, BUT I do wear a ball cap almost all the time...jeans and a T-shirt..casual dress shoes though..I rarely wear running shoes unless it is for sports or the gym or very very casual. What's the use of trying to attract someone who judges a book by its cover and really only likes you for what you got and not for who you are..I know it sounds like kinda corny, but those types of relationships don't last and I don't date those types of women anymore.. I digress...this to me seems a question with answers to one specific type of woman. What's this knock on short people I rarely have bumped into women..unless they are 5'11 or taller that would not talk to me because of my height..and I am 5'5.5" ..gotta stick in the .5:laugh:..actually my cousins wife is massively tall compared to him..ok..that does look a bit weird.. First of all, this is what I have noticed..those with money don't dress like they have it and those with no money try to dress like that have a lot. this isn't 100% true, but it is very common. There is also a fine line between being confident and being a show-off...i find show-offs are insecure and feel that they need to let people know what the have, what they can do and how much they got ..a confident person does not need to do that because he/she already knows that others know..am I making sense here? Anyway...from my experience..if you can make a woman laugh..not just once, but regularly..you got your foot in the door...there is no guarantee for the other traits because one good looking guy to one woman may not be so good looking another. laughter is laughter... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Confidence, hands down. Looks are the flavour of the month. Link to post Share on other sites
soulseeker Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Anyone who is happy with who they are, is the most attractive person in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
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