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Do men like it when a girl gets nervous?


Rose201

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A few weeks back, a man I work with hit on me. At the time, when he said what he did, I was so shocked that he said it that I did not know what to say. I just let it go. Later I talked to many people who said he was hoping to see how I responded but I did not respond the way he had hoped.

 

Anyways, since then I have really began to like this person more and more. So my problem is this; I get hit on very often by men, but I never like any of the men who hit on me. So it is very easy for me to laugh and flirt and just not be interested at all in the guys who hit on me. I am never interested because I always feel like they like me and that I am sort of in control of the situation and it does not turn me on to feel in control of the situation.

 

But this guy I actually like. Alot. Very rarely do I like a man but when I do I get stupid around him. By stupid I mean I get very shy and nervous. I feel afraid that the guy can tell I like him and so I get completely emberassed and cannot look in his eyes sometimes and i get nervous and if he gets close to me I get really nervous and just want to run off! I feel like a school girl with a crush on some adult around this guy even though I am old enough and should be able to not get so stupid around someone I like. And of course I send all the wrong signs. (If he puts his hand near mine, I pull mine away really fast. If he locks eyes with me from across the room, I will only hold it for a second and then look away nervously, and other things like that. This is also the reason I tend to usually be single, even though I get hit on all the time, because I so rarely like a guy and when I do I send all the wrong signals, sometimes to the point where they think I do not even like them!)

 

I have no idea why I get this way. But the more I like this guy, the more shy and nervous I get around him. He is EXTREMELY patient with me and kind to me though, which amazes me. There are times when I will get nervous and just not be able to look at him and then just disappear from him because I want to get away, but he never gets mad and is always nice when he sees me again. Sometimes I can be normal and talk to him like my normal, flirtatious self who is confident and sexy - the girl that men hit on. But most of the time I am a wreck.

 

So my question is this - do you think this guy is laughing at me on the inside, thinking "wow this girl has such a thing for me" and he is getting this total ego trip out of it but has no interest or do men like it when a girl gets nervous around them and find it attractive? I asked a few guys and they said that they would find that attractive and a turn on in a woman, but I find that hard to believe. For me, if a man was to get all shy and stupid in my presense I would be flattered but would NEVER be interested but someone said thats because men and women think different.

 

I feel so stupid, that he probably is getting this ego trip out of the fact that he can tell I like him and probably thinks I am strange. Help!

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Ok guys, we need some imput!

 

Don't feel bad, I get the same way around guys I like. I feel like its totally obvious(my strange behavior) and sometimes I feel like the guy can sense it and is laughing on the inside. But, honestly I don't think thats the case. I think if anything they are flattered whether they are interested in pursuing more or they aren't. Depends on the guy I guess. Plus, if the guy is interested and your sure of that, even better for you. But just wanted to let you know you aren't alone with the feelings of paranoia and nervousness when liking someone.

 

The only way I was able to show my true self was to move on. Or to focus on someone or something else. I know that sounds bad, but thats how it was. I was focusing so much on the guy I was interested in, that I got to be a nervous wreck! It was actually interfering w/ my learning process. (he's in my class at college.) So, for me it didn't exactly work out...and its probably for the best. But you still have a chance. Good luck!

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So my question is this - do you think this guy is laughing at me on the inside, thinking "wow this girl has such a thing for me" and he is getting this total ego trip out of it but has no interest or do men like it when a girl gets nervous around them and find it attractive? I asked a few guys and they said that they would find that attractive and a turn on in a woman, but I find that hard to believe. For me, if a man was to get all shy and stupid in my presense I would be flattered but would NEVER be interested but someone said thats because men and women think different.

 

I feel so stupid, that he probably is getting this ego trip out of the fact that he can tell I like him and probably thinks I am strange. Help!

 

I think since you probably can't help it, you should just be yourself and not worry about it. It shows you feel deeply that you get nervous, so I think that is a good thing (I get incredibly nervous too, especially at first, around someone I like romantically).

 

You wouldn't want a guy to be nervous in that way because most women like the man to be masterful and in control. Besides, men show their nervousness differently.

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As a guy, if I was in his situation, I think I would either be, at best, confused, or at worst, think you weren't interested.

From what you've written it sounds like he may see you being flirtascious with other guys but then being a bit stand-off-ish with him, especially with the walking off where you said you wanted to get away.

 

I'm interested though in what it is that this guy has done differently to all the other guys. You say he hit on you, which sounds the same as the other guys, but there must've been something different. And what is it that's making you feel even more attracted to him?

 

And just as a general comment, is it the same with all girls in that a guy expressing interst in you turns you off?!?!? What can you recommend we are supposed to do then?!

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Hmmm....what about the guy makes us interested? Good question. I can't exactly pinpoint it myself. I mean yeah I get guys hitting on me. But if they totally aren't my type, I usually don't think too far into it. Usually its an extremely older man or a guy who I have nothing in common with. But, if its done just right, and its subtle, it gets me to thinking. If i like their personality and he shows a subtle interest in me and what Im doing. Gets me alone or engaged in a conversation and we find that we have things in common, sometimes Im just drawn to that. Also, I notice how the guy acts in general situations. Or I start to notice things about them I never did before. Like his eyes or his smile when talking to me. If he doesn't come off too strong, Then I start to like him. I can't say I usually like a guy right off the bat. It takes time, to get to know him etc.

 

I know in the past I have confused guys with my crazy behavior. But, I also think some of them have caught on. I think its because I usually am attracted to guys who are introverted just like me. So, I think they kinda realize how it is and why Im reacting why I am. They recognize that nervousness. Crazy.. But I wanna hear more from the guys. What do you think of girls who act like this? Do you honestly think they aren't interested? Does it confuse you? Or do you sense it that they are into your right away?

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I am not like most women, so what I have to say should probably not be taken to speak for most other women. But in the past, when I like a guy, it is usually something that causes it that is beyond their control. For example, the reason I like this guy so much is because when I first met him I had this dream about him that he really cared about me as a human being. I mean truly cared about my happiness and who I am as a person. I had never had such a feeling and woke up so happy.

 

Anyways, the more I got to know him, the more good I saw in him and I think of this dream I had and I notice he tends to be like the guy I dreamed of. He tends to overlook things other guys might grumble at. He is just so kind and patient and the more I am around him I feel he is such a beautiful soul inside. I am often right about people in my dreams. Once I dreamed a guy did NOT care about me at all as a human being, and later he turned out to be very cruel and mean to me. The more I think of him this way the more beautiful he is to me (the guy I had the good dream about.)

 

The guy I broke up with was similar. Something beyond his control happened that made me see something beautiful in him. He had a more masculine personality as well, and was very much "wearing the pants" which always attracts me more than the guys who fall all over me.

 

And I was a nervous wreck with him, but he was so experienced he knew just what to do with me...which made me like him even more! LOL He did not let my shyness deter him. The type of guy who could grab you and kiss you with mad passion and make you get all weak because he was not going to take any nonsense....he was going to have you and would not let your shyness get in the way!

 

Ok, but still, the question remains. do guys like it when girls get nervous? I think this guy at work has to know I like him. But I am so nervous is he laughing at me or attracted by it?

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Ok, but still, the question remains. do guys like it when girls get nervous?

if we are attracted to her we don't give a krap whether she's nervous or not. all we're worried about is if we're going to hook up or not.

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He did not let my shyness deter him. The type of guy who could grab you and kiss you with mad passion and make you get all weak because he was not going to take any nonsense....he was going to have you and would not let your shyness get in the way!

 

 

Mmmm. A bit off topic, but I just have to say...very, very hot.

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I like it if a girl is shy at first because I can be the same way. Just as long as she is able to get past the shy part, then its ok.

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And I was a nervous wreck with him, but he was so experienced he knew just what to do with me...which made me like him even more! LOL He did not let my shyness deter him. The type of guy who could grab you and kiss you with mad passion and make you get all weak because he was not going to take any nonsense....he was going to have you and would not let your shyness get in the way!

 

See, personally I think this is where it gets hard for a bloke. If you're acting all nervous and avoiding me and avoiding body contact with me etc, though instinctively I'd maybe feel like grabbing you and kissing you, it's probably the last thing I'd do as I feel I've been "taught" by society that it'll lead to a slap in the face and a knee in the nuts.

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See, personally I think this is where it gets hard for a bloke. If you're acting all nervous and avoiding me and avoiding body contact with me etc, though instinctively I'd maybe feel like grabbing you and kissing you, it's probably the last thing I'd do as I feel I've been "taught" by society that it'll lead to a slap in the face and a knee in the nuts.

there's a big difference between bad nervous and good nervous. You're talking about bad nervous where she doesn't like you.

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whenever i have been nervous with a guy it always seemed to make them like me more. i always thought they found it a challenge, knowing i liked them, but not being completely sure, and wondering if they would be able to coax me out of my shell. now after reading all the guys replies on here, i'm not so sure. perhaps its like alpha male said, and they dont give a krap if your nervous or not if they like you.

i have had dreams about men before that turned out to be accurate aswell, only they were abit abstract so i only realised it in retrospect.

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Thanks again for the replies.

 

So I take it that it is safe to assume this guy is not getting a big old kick out of watching me be nervous while stroking his now enflated ego, but may perhaps either a) not care if he likes me or b) kind of like it if he likes me?

 

And if its b, why would a guy like it if a girl was nervous? Wouldn't it be a turn OFF?

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hmm...this is a tricky topic, it really depends on the guy and the girl.

 

For me, it depends on the girl and if her type of shyness/nervousness increases my attraction towards her. But in general cases i would say if im attracted to a girl - the main reason probably wouldnt be because of her nervousness...however at times there is an element of challenge there to pry a girl to get comfortable around you, which may make her that much appealing.

 

Although i can say that aloofness coming from a girl can definitely make me assume she's not interested. whether or not she's interested i'd never be able to read her mind, all i can do is ask her out.

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I'm no guy but if you blush or you're a little shaky when you're near him, it will give him the right signs because if you only run away, he won't know for certain if you like him or dislike him intensely.

 

Good luck. ;)

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I'm a guy and I like a girl that comes up to me and tells me she likes me. That to me shows she is decisive, mature and serious about having a relationship with me. I met a girl like that and although she is not my type physically, emotionally I respect her because she is strong and doesn't play games. I'm 31 and not interested in a 30 year old girl that acts like 15 year old. That is so exhausting because of all the mixed messages. So no, I don't like shy girls and especially wishy washy girls that don't know what they want.

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  • 1 month later...
happygilmore

Ive been seeing some1 for 6 weeks now.. she 20, im 25

 

I havnt meet sum 1 so shy in all my life, and a little boring coz of it..

 

In 6 weeks, ive seen her 2 times in the wk days, and every wkend i see her...

Thats coz she seems like she has to be drinking to have confidence wit me, sad bcoz when shes a little tipsy i have such fun time wit her, and so up for a good time.

 

 

i sound bad, but i tried to make an effort ( im the 1 who always makes the effort 2 c her wkdays, but she always busy or tired ), but she isnt wat i need , i need a real gf who wants 2 see me all the time....

 

So i only see her as my wkend girl now..

 

 

 

:o Give her a few weeks, if shes still nervous or shy or even weird,!

 

'ditch it'

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Are you sure he notices that you are nervous? Sometimes, when we're nervous, we blow these things up in our mind so they seem larger than life. He may not even KNOW you're nervous!

 

Back before my bf and I started dating, he used to come by my office and chat with me. He made me unbelievably nervous! Weak in the knees for half an hour afterwards, heart pounding, hand-shaking nervous.

 

We laugh about it now, because apparently, he was just as nervous around me! He told me how he really had to talk himself into coming down to my floor and finding an excuse to pass by my office. Neither of us even noticed.

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Yeah, he might not even notice. So maybe let him catch you blushing. When he touches you, don't pull away, just smile nervously at him. He will get it.

 

If he does touch you and you can't help but quickly pull away because you are afraid of his effect on you....then you can smile and say something like "Wow, that felt like you shocked me just then." Make a joke about how there must be electricity in the air.

 

I have also been nervous like you around a guy I couldn't resist. My last boyfriend said that he loved how shy and nervous I was, in contrast to how sexy and confident I was, too, at other times. He liked the paradox.

 

He also told me that shy was fine for a woman, as long as she seemed sensual and passionate....and a possible firecracker in bed. Kind of like a smoldering, restrained fire that a guy could pour lighter fluid on and watch it burn out of control.....

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Have you considered that he actually thinks you are nervous because you are embarrased because you rejected him? Are you sure he knows you like him AT ALL in the first place?

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