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I am in real sh*t. i started a new role 3 weeks ago. Its very high pressuried and long hours (yes - u guessed it finance). My boss is also female, she already hates me it seems.

 

She is very formal with me, and this is coming from a very chatty hyper woman. she is very senior although fairly new herself. Im worried for my job, as she has the power. I also learnt when i went to lunch with a colleague today that used to work there, that she got rid of the last person doing my job very fast.

 

How can i break the ice? we have little in common, in fact we have opposite personalities.

 

I think this could get very very messy, as she may embaress me at my desk.

 

I feel she is really testing me. Asking( directing) me to do all sorts of work. even though it is xmas she is directing me to do work ( which noone is gonna care about if it waits until the next day) very late in the evening.

 

I have to grit my teeth and get her to like me, or at least tolerate me. I dont want to ar-se kiss coz that is gonna look too obvious. i m afraid that she may get off on sacking people. why did she sack the first guy, at a time when they really really needed someone.

 

this stress is ruining my xmas. the hours are long and she doesnt like me.

 

I also feel that this rubs of on everyone else, as they all like to follow the leader.Do you have any sugestions for small talk. i have done the "what you doing for xmas thing" and holidays. i need b*lls*t talk. the banter, as at the moment im looking far too reserved and in my own corner.This is really stressfull.

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I am in real sh*t. i started a new role 3 weeks ago. Its very high pressuried and long hours (yes - u guessed it finance). My boss is also female, she already hates me it seems.

 

She is very formal with me, and this is coming from a very chatty hyper woman. she is very senior although fairly new herself. Im worried for my job, as she has the power. I also learnt when i went to lunch with a colleague today that used to work there, that she got rid of the last person doing my job very fast.

 

How can i break the ice? we have little in common, in fact we have opposite personalities.

 

I think this could get very very messy, as she may embaress me at my desk.

 

I feel she is really testing me. Asking( directing) me to do all sorts of work. even though it is xmas she is directing me to do work ( which noone is gonna care about if it waits until the next day) very late in the evening.

 

I have to grit my teeth and get her to like me, or at least tolerate me. I dont want to ar-se kiss coz that is gonna look too obvious. i m afraid that she may get off on sacking people. why did she sack the first guy, at a time when they really really needed someone.

 

this stress is ruining my xmas. the hours are long and she doesnt like me.

 

I also feel that this rubs of on everyone else, as they all like to follow the leader.Do you have any sugestions for small talk. i have done the "what you doing for xmas thing" and holidays. i need b*lls*t talk. the banter, as at the moment im looking far too reserved and in my own corner.This is really stressfull.

 

Small talk : 'Excuse me, may I have a word with you in private. Look.....f@ck it, drop it and take it easy....Im not your slave and this is Xmas not Cuban crisis ;)' It should work:confused:

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Screw the 'small talk' crap. Do what I do - go to work and do the job and quit worrying over whether your boss 'likes' you or not. The way I see it... you work to earn your keep and that's it. The office isn't a personality contest arena.

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She is your boss, you are her employee, you're there to do a job and do it well, not become her buddy or a friend. Work hard, and do a good job then she will respect you for that, not for your social skills.

 

SF is right, it doesn't matter if she likes you or not...Chances are she's a tough boss and just doesn't want to get personal with her employees. Keep conversations to work related topics too.

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I'd say be subtly personal w/out getting too into it. Ask her how her day's been going. Show her you care. She probably fired the last guy because all he did was went to work, didn't show her he was driven to succeed. Show her your personality by opening her up first. If you can get her to open up first then you'll be able to adjust the way you interact with her so the two of you get along. Start off with smalltalk, show concern for her, treat her like a human. She probably feels left out of the social aspects of work, being the boss & all. She's always going to want to feel superior but I'm sure she wants to feel human.

 

Please don't just be a robot & do the job just to do it. How fun is your life going to be if you exclude fun & friends from work? Try to enjoy your job. Your boss will gain respect & admiration for you if you can show her you're a real person. Of course you should continue doing your job the best you can & act professionally. I'm just saying that showing her your confidence, personality, & concern will make her like you more. Start with baby steps (small talk), get to know her even if she's a b****.

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If she's a distant superior, do not arse kiss. She will despise you for it. Keep an even business relationship with her. No drama, nothing. Do not emote all over her or try to get close. Say Hi or Goodnight. Greet her if she greets you. Only be social or friendly if she is. Prove to her you can do an outstanding job and you will gain her respect.

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she is not the superior big boss. she is my boss and she has 2 other secretarys under her. She isnt distant from the team/floor. she is very very chatty. But this is the problem , its follow the leader time isnt it. everyone wants to be her friend.

 

My problem is that even when she is late ( she lives 15 mins away - i live miles away) she will call in to check that im there and let me hold conference calls without her. She does this to show me that she is boss, she can come in whenevr but i cant.

 

she keeps me there until late - even though the whole floor is clear. she said in the interview ( i had 5) that she doesnt expect staff to work all hours...yet she keeps me there.

 

she has the power to keep me there and noone will challenge her.

 

i need to PRETEND to be her mate. i need some more small talk tips. If i just do the job - it wont work. its not that simple anymore.

 

I have to be casually interested in her life. it shouldnt be such a mission coz she is so chatty but she actually terrifies me. as she got rid of the other guy......and everyone said he was very nice...so what went wrong?did he cross her?festive cheer - my foot.

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Power mongers will always know who they terrify and can manipulate. You need to work on this versus getting closer to her. If all else fails, why are you still working there?

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My Fair Katie
she has the power to keep me there and noone will challenge her.

 

Welcome to the real world. No one else is gonna look out for you, you have to do it yourself.

 

"I'm sorry, I have dinner plans I can't get out of, we'll have to continue this tomorrow is X o'clock good for you?"

 

If you have an HR department make sure they know all the hours you work over 40. Then your boss will have to deal with their b!tch fit over keeping employees past a certain time.

 

You are low man on the totem pole, this is what happens when you're the new hire sadly. Your coworkers have already proven themselves, now it's your turn.

 

Pretending to be buddy buddy won't do a darn thing. I've found the best way to get in good with a boss is to ask intelligent questions when being given an assignment that shows you are interested and invested in the project.

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Now your talking! being buddy buddy aint gona do me any good coz she will see right through me im not the best actress going.

 

Rather then shy away from her, coz she may be trouble i guess i gotta be talking to her all the time.

 

she was ok with me today, nice even, probably coz others were out - i was made to come in on new years week. another hint.

 

yes i gotta look out for myself. I jsut want more tips, how you guys do this. i have noticed that maybe everyone is doing the same thing - acting all day long? how was your holiday? how are your kids? how was yr evening?

 

do they care? are they interested - or are they make the day more bearbale and trying to get up ar-se and managing better then me? HELP

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My Fair Katie

yes i gotta look out for myself. I jsut want more tips, how you guys do this. i have noticed that maybe everyone is doing the same thing - acting all day long? how was your holiday? how are your kids? how was yr evening?

 

Well, it doesn't hurt to ask nice surface questions like those. It's polite.

 

Is your office large? Perhaps you can seek out a mentor (not your boss) who can help you learn the ins and outs.

 

Another thing I've done in the past is if I'm going to pick up lunch/go to the vending machine I'll ask people if they want anything, "Hey boss lady, I'm heading over to the sandwich shack, shall I bring you back anything?" Just small courtesies.

 

Be proactive in the work you do. It's hard for me to elaborate on this since I'm not knowledgeable on your office or the finance field, but if you have time to learn some extra information that you incorporate in the day to day office job it will go a long way to show your boss that you're a motivated team player.

 

Be confident in your work, but not cocky. Be sure to be receptive to feedback. After you've been there a few months ask your boss for a performance review and what you can do to be better, but do NOT pester her for one.

 

It's a delicate line to walk, I know, I've had crap-bosses too. Good luck.

 

P.S. If it's a large company keep your eyes open for new positions, it's easier to move laterally in some companies than it is to find a brand new job. And network network network. Meet the people in your office, get names and titles and remember them!

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