Depression is affecting my relationship

[eddpad]

I'll get right to it. The girl I have been involved with about 3 months now was first my friend then more. We are not official, and won't be because she is my friend's ex. The last 3 months for us have been awesome. We've been very vocal about our feelings for each other and agree that it's crummy we can't fully explore this.

 

Now here is what I'm dealing with. The past week and a half I have been plagued by depression; specifically post-college depression. I just got a job I'm not that into and I have only been there for 3 weeks. I know this is the source of the depression because what else would it be. I didn't feel this way before I had the job, and all of a sudden now I do. I feel worthless, tired, no appetite and just gray in general about life and I keep feeling self-conscious about how it's going to affect my relationship with her.

 

It's so frustrating because I know it's a funk and all it takes is some getting used to the new swing of things, but I effing hate it so much.

 

Can anyone comment on this and offer any advice on my problem? I know there has to be some people out there that have had some type of post-college depression or just felt down in general and have it affect their relationship. I really do not want to ruin things with this girl; she means alot.

[bluescreenlife]

I had some of that too... it takes a while to get re-adjusted after university. It also meant going into an LDR with the girl I was dating who was still in school, and that story does not end well. So what advice do I have? Build other things in your life besides your job and besides her. If you count on her for support she may feel overburdened and resent you for not meeting her own support needs, depending how giving she is. Get some exercise, it helps with lousy moods. I'm not going to touch the whole friend's ex thing, but hopefully everyone's doing all right. Be well.

[lizzielou]

Yeah I'm kind of going through that right now too. I've been looking into getting a p/t job in an area that i'm interested in. It's a good way to find out if you REALLY like the industry etc. It might also help get rid of the funk if you find yourself sitting on the couch all night every night (like I do!). Otherwise things like picking up hobbies, taking easy classes at a community college, and working out could help. Maybe you can start planning things like finding your own place or saving up for a new car.

 

As for the job, it's weird working all day every day, isn't it? I still have to get out during lunch -- go to the mall or drive around. Give it a little time to see if you begin liking your job a little more. Maybe if you're comfortable enough, you can explore your options of moving around within the company.

 

The girl: you already said you won't actually get together b/c she's a friend's ex so I'm not sure how you think this depression is what's keeping you from a relationship with her. Work out the kinks in your life. Good luck!