Women's responsibilities?

[Guest126984]

I am 31, male and single. I have been dating a girl for 3 months. We see each other about 4 times a week. She is 38.

 

I am more traditional. I find it sexy if a woman can cook. I think men and women are equal, but different in ways, and I like the differences.

 

Since we have been dating she has not cooked one thing for me or herself. Constant out to eat, eat on the go etc. If I am over she offers me pretzels or crackers.

 

Now, she states she is not some submissive woman, etc. Until, it comes time to pay. Every single time we are out I pay the entire bill. She also always wants to travel somewhere. She keeps saying "where are you taking me for thanksgiving?"

 

"Where will you take me for my birthday. I want to go to the mountains. Lets plan a trip to the beach" etc etc. Always expecting me to pay in full. And it is her that wants to go, not me.

 

So, my question is do any of you men or women find it strange that this woman is completely non-traditional in every aspect until it comes to paying? Do I sound cheap to bring this up? I have no problem paying, but in return I would think a woman should cook, or do things like that. Not necessarily in return, but I think a woman should enjoy cooking. Then the natural flow leads me to enjoy taking her places. Do I have a valid concern?

 

Am I being a mysoginist? For some reason I cant stand the attitude of we are 100% equal in every single way, and have the same exact responsibilities, but it is the mans job to pay 100%. I think if women want to be taken places they get further ahead by doing things like cooking. Then I atleast see an even trade off.

[a4a]

Oh she probaby is just letting you "feel like the man" by letting you pay for things.

 

So she ain't Betty Crocker and probably never will be so dump her if you don't like the way she is.

 

Maybe she sees giving you oral as a fair enough trade for you paying. I mean you can cook for yourself, but can you give yourself oral sex...... come on now which is really more important.

[riobikini]

The question that crosses my mind right away is, " Why do you continue to date someone who obviously isn't a match for you from the very beginning?"

 

-Rio

[Woggle]

I am not a believer in strict gender roles but this woman will be nothing but trouble. Many women preach that equality stuff when it comes to themselves but they want you to play your traditional gender roles. In other words she has a me me me mentality which will give you nothing but headaches. I say cut your losses and find somebody else.

[Guest]

but I think a woman should enjoy cooking.

 

Nobody has yet found a 'cooking' allele on any 'female' gene. There's no reason a woman 'should' enjoy cooking any more than a man 'should' enjoy mowing a lawn.

 

I agree with the others. If you're 'traditional' and she is not, there's nothing but trouble ahead. Apparently you think her 'womanliness' is going to kick in any day now and she'll turn into Rachel Ray. Not gonna happen.

[Kamille]

I agree with everyone. She's not going to wake up one day with the sudden and continued desire to morph into Martha Stewart.

 

And I agree with you that the cooking and the paying are two seperate issues. Don't mix them up.

 

As such, if you can accept the fact that she doesn't have the cooking gene, your only problem now is solving the who pays for what issue.

[pray1]

Sorta in the same situation . My gf and i have been going out for 5 months , she lives at her parents house and they live in a motorhome parked outside . In the time we have been dating i have paid for everything , dont have a problem with it but an offer to pay would mean alot . Just the offer .! In the time we have been dating i have never been invited to her house { i own my place } . She went to her gparents during labor day about 20 miles away , i got no invite . Now she says she,s working thanksgiving , so there goes another holiday . I have mentioned to her y she never has invited me over and she said her dad puts her down , but in return she has told me she has had other guys over in the past .recently told her i would never bring up her house and being invited there , told her i wouldnt come now even if invited . Her reply was , Well i guess no xmas and my gparents r going to b there " to which i replied y should xmas b any different than labor day, thanksgiving . She,s a great lady dont get me wrong , we went to the flea market last weekend bought her several things she wanted as we were leaving she seen a puppy to which i said no , she has 3 dogs i have 2 as it is . she had seen a purse earlier and when i said no to the puppy she got upset about not getting the purse { yeah ended up buying the purse ] . very confused ! p.s we have been by her gparents many times but never have stopped in .

[pray1]

Oh she probaby is just letting you "feel like the man" by letting you pay for things.

 

So she ain't Betty Crocker and probably never will be so dump her if you don't like the way she is.

 

Maybe she sees giving you oral as a fair enough trade for you paying. I mean you can cook for yourself, but can you give yourself oral sex...... come on now which is really more important.

So oral is a trade? If a woman wants to b treated as a equal y not at least offer to pay sometimes ? Seems some woman want it both ways to b treated as equals as long as they dont have to pay !

[a4a]

So oral is a trade? If a woman wants to b treated as a equal y not at least offer to pay sometimes ? Seems some woman want it both ways to b treated as equals as long as they dont have to pay !

 

Maybe she does other things for him. The only complaint he had was she does not cook (she does offer snacks tho) and she does not offer to pay.

 

So really it is up to him to decide if she is "good enough" for him and stay or go. He can close his wallet, and she can close her legs.... there is no law saying he has to keep paying nor that a woman has to cook...... choice.

 

Now traditionally a woman never pays...... maybe she just really really cooks badly? Maybe he should pay for them to go to cooking classes?

 

And if she provides other things for him like hot monkey love, attention, ego stroking..... well for some men that is plenty. Whatever floats your boat.

[amyv0213]

Maybe she just can't cook. Some women try to cook and they just don't have good cookings skills. A few of my friends can't cook, it just seems that whenever they make something it doesn't come out right.

I agree with everyone else. If she hasn't cooked anything yet and shows no interest in cooking anytime soon, it's not gonna happen!

[samsungxoxo]

If she keeps insisting on taking her to places, in which he didn't mention it, but her, then she should be doing you a favor and taking what she has in her purse, it's whoever's idea it was. As for the cooking and other aspects, if she's not your match, dump her right away. She will get you nothing but trouble and money waste, save your money for other things too, put them in the bank. Sounds like a goldgigger, eww, stay away from them.

[DaintyPaws]

Look, mate. You are obviously not into her. You can't wave a magic wand, and then expects her to turn into a woman's version of Jamie Oliver.

 

If you really loved her, you would have love her for herself, cook or no cook.

So, its obvious you don't, so just break up with her. Just cite incompatability.

Why drag on ?

[alphamale]

this woman is a gold-digger and is using you. soon as you stop underwriting her social life she will dump you and find another "sucker"....you should get rid of her first.

[riobikini]

Does any of the following sound familiar to anyone?

 

>>> "Buy me this, buy me that...."

 

"You want me to look nice for you, don't you?"

 

"Ooohhh! doesn't that beach look inviting? Doesn't that cruise look entertaining?"

 

"I wear only *designer* clothing. I shop in only the *best* places."

 

"So-and-So bought me this when we were in fill-in-the-blank, and the *other* So-and-So before him bought me this, etc., etc.."

 

"I've booked reservations at this or that swanky restaurant for the evening -wear something appropriate- by the way, bring your credit card."

 

"Nice car you have there....I've had my eye on this really n-i-c-e Benz, lately."

 

"I really *need* a vacation -let's grab a few brochures and pick one."

 

"I hate living in my apartment -it's sooo cramped- I'd much rather have a place in fill-in-the-blank -have *you* ever thought of living there?"

 

"Me pay -why??? -*you're* the man in this *relationship*.

 

If you hear even the slightest note of those statements or comments within two weeks of meeting someone new, forget how charming or hot she is, or how your friends *envy* you - run like hell!!

 

(Smile)

 

 

-Rio

[cutegirl]

Does any of the following sound familiar to anyone?

 

>>> "Buy me this, buy me that...."

 

"You want me to look nice for you, don't you?"

 

"Ooohhh! doesn't that beach look inviting? Doesn't that cruise look entertaining?"

 

"I wear only *designer* clothing. I shop in only the *best* places."

 

"So-and-So bought me this when we were in fill-in-the-blank, and the *other* So-and-So before him bought me this, etc., etc.."

 

"I've booked reservations at this or that swanky restaurant for the evening -wear something appropriate- by the way, bring your credit card."

 

"Nice car you have there....I've had my eye on this really n-i-c-e Benz, lately."

 

"I really *need* a vacation -let's grab a few brochures and pick one."

 

"I hate living in my apartment -it's sooo cramped- I'd much rather have a place in fill-in-the-blank -have *you* ever thought of living there?"

 

"Me pay -why??? -*you're* the man in this *relationship*.

 

If you hear even the slightest note of those statements or comments within two weeks of meeting someone new, forget how charming or hot she is, or how your friends *envy* you - run like hell!!

 

(Smile)

 

 

-Rio

 

I NEVER cook or clean. But I also make 8-9 x more than my bf and pay for almost ALL the bills including rent bills, even gave/let him borrow money to buy a car, I'm the one who paid over 1k for a Vegas trip. I paid for it all since I was the one who wanted to go.

 

I don't cook, but I also don't need any man to pay for me at ALL.

[Star Gazer]

She sounds like a princess. If she can't freakin' cook you a meal once in a while - even a freakin' warm appetizer - and doesn't front the cost on occasion for your constant restaurant dining, I'd say this 'relationship' is going nowhere, fast!!

[riobikini]

cutegirl:

" I NEVER cook or clean. But I also make 8-9 x more than my bf and pay for almost ALL the bills including rent bills, even gave/let him borrow money to buy a car, I'm the one who paid over 1k for a Vegas trip. I paid for it all since I was the one who wanted to go.

 

I don't cook, but I also don't need any man to pay for me at ALL."

 

 

I like a guy who pays -but at the same time, I don't use a relationship advantageously when it comes to the buying/paying issue.

 

For me, it's about common decency and treatment of another human.

 

It also reflects how I was raised and how I've developed those roots of my beliefs ever since.

 

I'm deeply appreciative of both small and generous financial gestures -but the thing that's most appreciated -and required- as far as I'm concerned, is the sincerity, thoughtfulness, and no misleading strings-attached policy in which any gift is presented to me.

 

-Rio

[pray1]

cutegirl:

 

 

I like a guy who pays -but at the same time, I don't use a relationship advantageously when it comes to the buying/paying issue.

 

For me, it's about common decency and treatment of another human.

 

It also reflects how I was raised and how I've developed those roots of my beliefs ever since.

 

I'm deeply appreciative of both small and generous financial gestures -but the thing that's most appreciated -and required- as far as I'm concerned, is the sincerity, thoughtfulness, and no misleading strings-attached policy in which any gift is presented to me.

 

-Rio

may i ask , if u invite a guy to lunch or dinner who should pay ? seems some women like to invite guys to events or to eat then expect them to pick up the tap even tho it wasnt the guys idea !

[Guest]

If you want to start "splitting the bills" then you'd better put a ring on her finger. A gentleman treats a woman like a lady and NEVER expects her to pay during the courtship phase.

[riobikini]

re:

 

pray1: " may i ask , if u invite a guy to lunch or dinner who should pay ? seems some women like to invite guys to events or to eat then expect them to pick up the tap even tho it wasn't the guys idea ! "

 

If a female says, " May I take you out to dinner?" -then consider that *she* is taking *you* -and should be the payer.

 

If she says something like, " *Let's have dinner, sometime." -you should expect that *you'll* probably wind up being the payer if you choose to take her up on the suggestion to have dinner.

 

To avoid surprise or confusion about *who* is the designated payer, be as certain as you can about exactly what she's saying when she brings up the subject.

 

Approach the whole thing in a casual way, and *ask* her, if you are unsure about who is expected to pay.

 

If you can't afford to pay for dinner at the place she suggests, don't be railroaded by your own pride and ego: many women have already learned that using that great big male ego to their own advantage is irresistibly easy! -some even count on it!

 

Never let your own pride *rob* you.

 

And as for some women who *do* invite available men along just to pay the tab -they've always been around!

 

It may take a little extra time, effort, and practice but it is certainly possible for any male to be more successful in discerning the intentions of similar invitations from females (and just about anyone).

 

Until you get the hang of it and start faring better with the outcome, I suggest that you always be prepared with a little more cash.

 

Winding up shelling out a couple of hundred dollars you really can't afford for a well-trimmed dinner shared with a beautiful, spoiled, charming user should be enough incentive for anyone to start learning how to avoid it.

 

Hope you take some of this advice -it's all older than I am!

 

(Smile)

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[pray1]

re:

 

 

 

If a female says, " May I take you out to dinner?" -then consider that *she* is taking *you* -and should be the payer.

 

If she says something like, " *Let's have dinner, sometime." -you should expect that *you'll* probably wind up being the payer if you choose to take her up on the suggestion to have dinner.

 

To avoid surprise or confusion about *who* is the designated payer, be as certain as you can about exactly what she's saying when she brings up the subject.

 

Approach the whole thing in a casual way, and *ask* her, if you are unsure about who is expected to pay.

 

If you can't afford to pay for dinner at the place she suggests, don't be railroaded by your own pride and ego: many women have already learned that using that great big male ego to their own advantage is irresistibly easy! -some even count on it!

 

Never let your own pride *rob* you.

 

And as for some women who *do* invite available men along just to pay the tab -they've always been around!

 

It may take a little extra time, effort, and practice but it is certainly possible for any male to be more successful in discerning the intentions of similar invitations from females (and just about anyone).

 

Until you get the hang of it and start faring better with the outcome, I suggest that you always be prepared with a little more cash.

 

Winding up shelling out a couple of hundred dollars you really can't afford for a well-trimmed dinner shared with a beautiful, spoiled, charming user should be enough incentive for anyone to start learning how to avoid it.

 

Hope you take some of this advice -it's all older than I am!

 

(Smile)

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

Thanks . Have picked up all the taps . And was raised that way . I know each person is different , Great advice and thanks .