Pink Balloon Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 years suddenly announced he didn't want a girlfriend anymore and he didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. This came completely out of nowhere, one moment we were eating dinner, the next he hit me with this. We've never argued or fell out, he's always told me he's happy, i've always told him i'm happy and we've had a lot of fun together. It's been an almost perfect 2 year relationship. Since that night 3 weeks ago his contact with me has about halved. Before, he would call and text message every day, now he calls and text messages about every two days. It is still him initiating every call like he always did, just only half as often. When he does call or text message it's like nothing has changed, he's the same as he always was, fun, joking, laughing and talking about his day - but with one exception, he is completely devoid of all affection and romantic emotion, no sweet names, no kisses, nothing. Before, he would ask to spend about 4 nights a week with me, now he asks to spend about 2 nights with me. This bit is real confusing though, because when we spend time together now, he is much more lively and excited about being with me than he was before. He compliments me on how i look, he calls me beautiful etc. He is loving, affectionate and wants lots of touches and cuddles. He spends the night as before and just holds me close for ages in bed. (we haven't had sex since this happened, so i know he's not just after that!) It's like, he still wants me, but only half as much as he did before 3 weeks ago. I feel like a part-time girlfriend! Does anyone have any ideas on why he's behaving so strangely? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Maybe he's met someone else and isn't 100% sure about ending it with you. What you need to do is tell him you need space, not to call or try to contact you at all because if the relationship is over, it's OVER. After being his girlfriend for 2 years, then he announces he doesn't want a relationship anymore, he cannot keep intouch with you like that! It's unfair and cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Balloon Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 He hasn't met anyone else, that i'm sure of. I know him very well and there have been no red flags, indications or even gut feelings to suggest he has. All he said was that he wanted to work out who he was and what he wanted, and that he wanted there to be hope for us. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Okay, well I guess you just have to wait it out and take things slowly with him. What led to his decision of wanting to take a break from the relationship and you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Balloon Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 I have absolutely no idea whatsoever! It came completely as a shock to me. Strangely enough though, despite him saying on that night 3 weeks ago that he didn't want a girlfriend or a relationship, he still refers to me as his girlfriend, refers to himself as my boyfriend, and refers to us as being in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 I would think that a big red flag that something is up and he more then likely has meet, or plans on meeting someone else is the fact that he dumped you out of the blue. Also you say you know him, but thats odvisouly not the case since he pulled a stunt like this leaving you confused and hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Balloon Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 Not everyone cheats, and cheating is not the only reason why relationships change or develop problems. Our relationship has changed, that's all i'm saying. It's changed for the worse in that he isn't quite so affectionate verbally during telephone conversations and text messages, and our contact is less than it was before - BUT - it has changed for the better in that when we are physically together he is much more enthusiastic about us than he has ever been, he seems happier, more relaxed and generally more "into" me. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 If your relationship is better when you are together then why are you here asking us what we think is going on? We gave you our opinions and you choose instead of listening to them, to make excuse after excuse. If you read these forums you will see plenty of people who have the same story that you do. Boyfriend doesn't want to be with them, keeps them on the side, is nice when they are with you, and then are either looking, or have someone else on the side that they are equally nice to. Your right not everyone is a cheater, but he wanted to get away from you for some reason, and is short with you when you aren't together. He gets what he wants out of the closeness when you are physcially together and thats all he wants, so right now you are allowing him to have his cake and eat it to. To also add, he DID break up with you, and so it really isn't cheating if he does have somene else on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Balloon Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 I am asking what may be going on because of the exact reasons i have stated - he is MORE into me when we are together than he has ever been, yet he appears to want a little more time to himself at the moment. Despite what he actually SAID 3 weeks ago, the situation as of now is that : He is not cheating. I'm still his girlfriend. He's still my boyfriend. We are still in a relationship. It's just changed from the way it was before and i'm trying to ascertain why. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 It's just changed from the way it was before and i'm trying to ascertain why. Then talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly what you've said here. Hopefully he can be upfront and honest with you, let you know what's really going on inside his head. Link to post Share on other sites
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