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Is she signaling for something more?


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I have been friends with a co-worker for many years. We are both married and have families. While we haven't worked at same company for a few years and there was some non-communication, but we both remained in chicago. She called my house to go out and re-communicate and we are having lunches and after work happy hours for the past 18 months.

She has given me small friendship gifts (a card in her language, a dollar trinket here and there).

She never expects anything in return and I hinted to get her something as she was adamantly against it.

Our talks have always been about work and little bit of family. To put it briefly, she is not appreciated by her husband and I have marriage issues as well, though we never dwell on these.

She instisted on paying the last time we were out so I emailed her a thank you and then she was very standoffish for I didn't hear from her in over a week. She even ignored an email I sent after the thank you.

So then I emailed her and invented a new girl that I was going out to lunch with as friends and still didn't hear from her. I just wanted to test her feelings.

Then I emailed her again just saying I hoped all was ok and she emailed back twice (I didn't respond to either) hoping I would call her before she had to leave on a two week business trip. I wanted her to leave without myself responding.

Is this typical girl behavior?

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She returned from her trip and we decided for another after work visit. In the back of my mind I was hoping we would talk about our feelings (if she had any), but to do this I wanted to take us out of the restaurant environment for this conversation. So, at while we were leaving we continued to talk (which happens alot). I invited her to sit in my car for bit while we continued to chat. Fortunately I cleaned the car before and prepared the passenger seat just right so it had no smell at all, so it would perfect to capture her odors for a later sniff.

Well, it felt a little 'too close' so we didn't discuss any mutal feelings, but maybe next time. When someone comes back from a trip, there is much to talk about which I didn't forsee.

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Just an update! We are going to the museum today for lunch which is usually pretty dead. I'm going to try to touch her in some way, either gently touch her hand or accidently graze her butt or something.

She did say she some things she wanted to talk about, so maybe i should wait hear what she says? I'll have to play it by ear.

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You should separate from your wife before you try to do anything further with the OW...:confused: And don't say you are just seeing if theres something there.. obviously you are so obsessed with the fact that you want to gently touch and get a wiff of her that you indeed have some sort of feelings for this OW. Let your wife go and be with someone who only cares about her.

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We are going to try whats called 'doppling', where two people live an alternate life with each other.

For those not familiar with it, a couple like us

1) Gets a place to live that is located in the best place possible, so its located on the way home from our workplaces. That way there is in excuse if someone sees us in the area

2) We take on extra responsibility at our work places so we more of an excuse if we want to be at the place more

 

Then we decorate the place like we are actually married, like a doppleganger of ourselves. We are shopping for a place this weekend seperatly. I've this working well for other people and we figure we will give it a shot!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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We now live in a totally seperate world it seems! The living area is ours. If someone walked in,they would think us two lived together (which we do sorta).

We make small meals so when we go home we still eat regular dinners at our homes.

 

So far so good!

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