Her & her MM.

[LaLa18]

I just have to get something off my chest... I have this friend.. who's been with a MM for quite some time.. she knows how strongly I feel about her relationship with her MM. For the past 2 years now.. we are more acquintences then friends. and just before I ever found out about her and the relationship.. I guess you would've called us the Best of friends.. but it seems that now.. she's choosen her path.. to be with him. and has no time for her friends, I guess I could've gone on too strong about my disagreement but I have my reasons.. right? I'm stubborn.. but only when I know I'm definitely right. (i make sure of that first =]..).. I mean.. I have a boyfriend and I find the time of day for MY friends.. is it just me? or is it her?

 

She alway says to me.. "let's hang out, i miss u." or something of that nature and my response would always be, "ok, sure.(lets hang out)" and that never ever happens. I mean. NOTHiNG, ever happens. I really feel that she's so caught up with her MM, that she spends all of her time with him. So her life doesn't have a "friends" category.

 

I need some advice or opinions.. whatever you have, I'll take.

[norajane]

Some women do stop hanging out with their friends when they're seeing a guy, especially when the relationship is new. It's usually not a good thing as friends are the people who will be there for you when the going gets rough, so alienating them when things are good is a bad idea. It also tends to make you a boring person to your lover if you make him the entire focus of your life, and can creep some guys out.

 

In your situation, I think that tendency is exacerbated by the MM issue. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear that she's doing something she shouldn't. Don't blame yourself for that, though.

 

The other thing with MM is they are only available to see their OW's during certain times because of the W. Your friend is probably keeping her time free so she can be available when he gets a moment to be with her. Again, I'm not saying this is right, but that's what happens in affairs.

 

If you really want to see her, next time she says 'let's hang out', why don't you reply back with a suggestion: ok, do you want to go to the beach/shopping/movie on Wednesday?