am i not as important to her?

[guest]

I went to high school with this girl for a year and became really close. I was a senior and she was a freshman. After I graduated, I still saw her because I helped out in the drumline she was in, but we were not as close because we didn't see much of each other, or talk outside of drumline. This past year, we seemed to be almost as close as when we were in high school. She would invite me to go out to eat with her and her friends after every practice, and we would hang out after competitions. But lately, I've been talking to her online, and she doesn't seem to think of our relationship as that close. She wrote on her blog that this person, this person, this person, and this person don't know how much they mean to her. I wasn't on the list of people that mean that much to her. Now if I had written that, she would be on the top of mine!! I don't know if she knows that I care for her that much, and would like for her to, but don't want to scare her away.

 

Should I tell her how much I care for her platonic friendship, or just try and show her by hanging out with her?

[magichands]

Should I tell her how much I care for her platonic friendship, or just try and show her by hanging out with her?

 

Have you added her on MySpace? Just kidding... ignore that.

 

By all means - hang out with her, and see where it goes. But you want something more than friendship - isn't that what you are saying?

[Just Ed]

I wasn't on the list of people that mean that much to her.

pehaps she was considering people from a certain group outside your own?

 

I don't know if she knows that I care for her that much, and would like for her to, but don't want to scare her away... Should I tell her how much I care for her platonic friendship, or just try and show her by hanging out with her?

you can say to her, "I am glad that you are my friend"... but for yourself, can you write out a list of good reasons for why you do care for her so much? from what i gather, you feel more closer to her than she does to you as of late.

 

yes, you can continue to do what friends do: be supportive, make her feel special (e.g. give her compliments, wish her well on her birthday, etc.). however, don't overdo it (e.g. don't give her the idea that she is "a necessity in your life"). you can try to reconnect with her by asking her to join you individually in doing stuff?

 

perhaps she rediscovered herself while you were away -- she now has different beliefs/core values and shares these with others, etc... whatever the reason is, you're headline said it... you are not as important to her. it is what it is; right now, she does not view this relationship with you at the same level as you do... people do move on, and my suggestion is to just accept it as a fact of life.

 

i agree in the idea that you need to be a friend to keep one. however, my other suggestion is not to invest so much energy (emotion) into a friendship that is so one-sided. rather, build on those friendships where they demonstrate that they value you.