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Im looking my bestfriend. me . (SHORT)


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Well i have this bestfriend. We have been bestfriends since we was 2. My step dad has lung cancer from smoking, and her dad has some kind of cancer from the same reason. She has these group of friends (which aren't really her friends) that got her into drinking and smoking. She smokes, gets high, drinks(trashed). Shes only 15. I keep telling her all these reasons she should try quitting. Her dad, her future, i dont know. the rest of her life. She won't listen to me. She starts slipping into a really bad attitude saying "UR NOT MY MOM SO STOP TRYING TO BE!!" and I wanna be there for her. I dont want to watch her fall down the wrong path. I figured she will learn from her misstakes, but it will probably be to late. And im so scared! Can someone please help me??? :eek:

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magichands

How is she doing at schoolwork? And did she have any hobbies before she started seeking chemical relief? What sort of things did you do together?

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She is lazy. She was a cheerleader in Elementary school. She was preppy. She has a whole different style and friends now. She dresses punk now. Randomely does she dress preppy. She just. Don't do anything. i'm working on it believe me. But its hard.

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that's sad. my best friend in high school used to be the most hyper, funny, happy, caring person id ever seen. she was a tomboy, always full of energy. i really dont kno what changed her, it wasnt new friends or anything, she just slowly started changing. now all you have to do to make her hate you is look at her wrong, shes basically abandoned all her friends (including me, we dont speak anymore b/c she literally refuses to talk to me at all) and shes always really lethargic and depressive all the time, shes started wearing tank tops, minis, just really girly, attention-getting outfits, lying, shes just done a total 180. and sadly theres not necessarily a lot you can do. i totally understand how you feel, and dont give up on her, make sure she knows you'll always be there for her, try to encourage her to change her behavior w/o being accusatory or fighting or getting her on the defensive, but she wont change unless she wants to. it's REALLY hard to watch a friend go thru that, but theres no magic formula to get her back.

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What is up with the parents of these girls? Don't they see the changes? Do they not check for drug use? I think if my kid changed like that I'd be sure to get the kid to a doctor for a checkup and if all was fine, maybe even move if that was what it would take to turn things around.

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What is up with the parents of these girls? Don't they see the changes? Do they not check for drug use? I think if my kid changed like that I'd be sure to get the kid to a doctor for a checkup and if all was fine, maybe even move if that was what it would take to turn things around.

 

i think her parents may be a little pre-occupied with the fact that her father has cancer. It must be a very trying time for all the family and her going off the rails is her way of striking out in anger and fear as to what is happening to her dad.

 

This isn't really the time to get on a high horse and condemn the parents. When my dad was terminally ill my mother's focus was primarily on him and understandably so.

 

to the OP - you are being a great friend in caring and maybe you should just let her know that you do care. tell her you need her at the moment because you are having a tough time dealing with your step-dad's cancer and maybe by sharing your feelings you can get her to talk about hers.

 

either way - i'd suggest you both go and speak to someone about this or find a teen support group for dealing with cancer in the family and i wish both your families all the best and speedy recoveries to full health.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Her mom buys her the cigs. Her mom and dad does coke. I don't really know. everytime i try too reach her, she just like. iono. YELLS at me. i hate how she treats me. n now im moving to florida, and then shes gunna be doing it a lot more because i wont be there.

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