Moai Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 It occurred to me today that one of the impediments to "just friends" relationships is the male ego. The man in question looks at the relationship and thinks: Why not me? Why date these other guys and not me? What have they got that I don't? And that is his ego talking. At some level, men want all women to want them. Even though it is totally unrealistic, it doesn't matter. As the friendship progresses, the man feels closer and closer to the woman, and is she doesn't want him back he begins to resent it--and her. He'll start acting weird, saying cryptic things, and before you know it "poof" the friendship is over. His ego demands that he possess her, I guess. That is not to say that there aren't women out there who prey on this fact, but even a nice woman who has done nothing to lead the man on can find this behavior coming at her. I just saw this last night between two of my friends, and it opened my eyes to an extent. The guy freaked out and made a jackass of himself. I have been that guy before too, I think. Sucks. The male ego is a very fragile thing, and because of this I think that's why it is harder for men to maintain these relationships than it is for women. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I don't think it is just a male ego thing but a ego in general. One sided desires lead to rejection and the other party which does the rejection often may feel guilty for hurting a friend and push the friend away. I have seen many women become bitter when rejected by a male. Many turn into the stalker type, scorn and bitter. Rejection is a blow to the ego regardless of gender. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I agree with a4a. It can definitely happen as desribed by the OP but it can happen the other way around too. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I had to do this very thing this past weekend. I have a very close male friend and he's been hinting for a while about his interest, and I've been hinting back of my non-interest. He finally worked up the courage to ask me straight out and I felt awful. I didnt know what to say but thankfully I didnt go into the cliche speech (I almost did, but I stopped myself and said he deserved better than that). I think he appreciated that and afterwards he said it lessened the blow for him? He was very sweet when he asked, and I felt really horrible about it, but you cant create that spark and I simply dont feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I have to wonder if the need to preserve the ego can turn one into a stalker? "I will make him/her want me because I cannot deal with the rejection". I never have been an obsessed or stalking person at all.... got to wonder if I am missing out on some fun? :lmao: I don't get stalkers or the whole feeling rejection thing....... I do know the guilt side tho. I think it is time for a stalker thread........(insert photo of bunny boiler and hummm scarey music now) Link to post Share on other sites
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