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What do women get from their male friends?


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Old 31st May 2006, 12:50 PM   #1
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What do women get from their male friends?

I just wanted to start a thread on this topic that has already been discussed heavily. But in this thread I want to put the focus on one specific thing -> How women view their friendships with men?

It has almost been concluded here in LS that "men and women cannot be friends". Another conclusion is that in all these cross-friendships the guy always wants more and that's why he keeps hanging out with the girl.

Now my question is why do women want to hang out with men as friends? Is it b'cos of the attention they get? Is it b'cos they just want to stroke their own egos? Is there really anything called as genuine friendship at all? How can men possibly tell that a woman is hanging around them only b'cos she is getting the attention?

I am sure I will get different set of replies from men and women So fire away!
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Old 31st May 2006, 12:54 PM   #2
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For me - the men that I have a close friendship are brilliant. For me that's it! I often need their guidance and smarts to make decisions or bounce ideas around with them. They tend to leave out the emotional aspect - so - this helps me a good portion of the time.

If it's just a conversation for fun, it is still always challenging, this is extremely attractive in any friend for me, male or female!
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Old 31st May 2006, 12:59 PM   #3
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I get from my male friends:

- a male perspective on relationships
- less drama
- and usually a more honest response to things
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:20 PM   #4
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I generally just find them more fun to hang out with. I like their conversations. I'm usually not looking for any attention other than what would be given to a friend in conversation.
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:28 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noclobber
Now my question is why do women want to hang out with men as friends?
We've already answered this question a multitude of times on LS...
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:38 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
We've already answered this question a multitude of times on LS...
I realize that Alpha... have also mentioned that in my post.

I am just trying to see what reasons women come up with.

From a male perspective I guess the reasons that you cited in one of your replies seems to be right on.

Quote:
1. It gives them an ego boost
2. They like the attention
3. They subconciously do not want their male "friend" to hook up with any other female
4. Its easy to take advantage of the male friend
5. Boredom
6. An easy date for any event when she's single
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:42 PM   #7
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previously quoted:

1. It gives them an ego boost
2. They like the attention
3. They subconciously do not want their male "friend" to hook up with any other female
4. Its easy to take advantage of the male friend
5. Boredom
6. An easy date for any event when she's single



NONE of these would fit me and my perspective! I do not need a man to validate my ego, attention or energy level...

I like myself just fine all by myself... my male friends are there - just like my female friends are - to enhance my perspective and to lift me to a higher level...

I expect that from them and they do as well from me.
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:43 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noclobber
From a male perspective I guess the reasons that you cited in one of your replies seems to be right on.
yes, and the concensus on that thread was correct for the male perspective. You don't need the female perspective on this subject because they;ll just give you bull**** answers.
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
You don't need the female perspective on this subject because they;ll just give you bull**** answers.
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale
yes, and the concensus on that thread was correct for the male perspective. You don't need the female perspective on this subject because they;ll just give you bull**** answers.

FYI AM -

I am a gal that never bull****s anyone! That is what makes it easy to tell who your friends are in life! I like it that way....

If people don't like it - they don't stay around very long, if they appreciate the honest demeaner, then they tend to be my friend for life!
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:49 PM   #11
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I personally don't keep close male friends.
If I call a man a friend it's generally because I want more!!

If I don't have more interest in the man other then friends I don't trust the man. I tried to be friends with a man but he just weirded me out all the time because I could sense and feel he wanted more with me and was hoping more would develop. I backed off from socializing with him because of this. He would call me a couple times a year to see how I was doing. He would leave cards on my desk at work when I was going through hard times.
He would send me birthday and xmas cards with long letters about his yearly events.

He is a really sweet, kind, caring nice guy but im not physcially or visually attracted to him. I don't feel sexually attracted to him.

A woman knows when a man wants more if she is close enough to him. I didn't want more and I didn't want to lead him on so I backed off.

My motives are much like a mans... If I am close friends with him, its because I am wanting more. I have male associates. But I don't call them, they don't call me and we don't make plans to hang out. UNLESS it is for information regarding a party, event, or something of strong importance and we need each others knowledge which is never.
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Old 31st May 2006, 1:56 PM   #12
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Quote:
1. It gives them an ego boost
2. They like the attention
3. They subconciously do not want their male "friend" to hook up with any other female
4. Its easy to take advantage of the male friend
5. Boredom
6. An easy date for any event when she's single

Hmmm.
1. Ego boost
Kind of. If the guy is attractive then yes it is nice to be seen with him. It's great for making other jealous too. Though at times it's a bit harsh on the ego when you go out and everyone is looking at him instead of you.
2. Attention
Huh? Isn't that the same with all relationships? I like people listening to me regardless of their sex.
3. Subconcious
If I wanted more than friendship then I wouldn't bother with a friendship.
4. Take advantage
It's easy to take advantage of female friend too. Unless you're talking about sex...well then yes I suppose it is easier to take advantage of a male friend.
5. Boredom
Yeah I guess so.
6. Easy date for any event
So true.
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Old 31st May 2006, 2:04 PM   #13
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What do I get from male friends:

1. Humor, something that so many women seem to lack.

2. Way less Dramatic ****.

3. Men are more inclined to do daring things like sky diving, rafting, or things I consider fun.

4. Way Way less Drama (worth listing 2x)

5. Better conversation, no chatter about shoes or the latest burpless tupperware lid.

6. I relate to them much better on a friendship level.

7. Better and lighter conversation. They don't tend to dwell on things as much as women do. When going out to have fun or enjoy an evening last thing I want to hear about is the same old **** about the bf or husband.
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Old 31st May 2006, 2:07 PM   #14
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I like guys because they're fun to hang out with. A lot of my girlfriends only want to go out if there's a chance of meeting guys, which cuts out a lot of activities like movies, trying a new restaurant, whatever.

Guys, on the other hand, are more than happy to go see Lord of the Rings, or go biking or hiking with me, or a ballgame, or go to the new Mexican place for margaritas. They like to do stuff, so we get together to do things.
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Old 31st May 2006, 2:30 PM   #15
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Yeah I've heard of the 'Men and women can't be friends' thing, but it totally contradicts the 'friendzone'.
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