confusedandcrazy Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I dated a guy for about a month, six or so years ago. I think at the time I was determined on getting married and well i think the reason we broke up was because i was needy,clingy etc. He is a total sweetheart, most of the time. A short while after that like 6 months, i got married to a guy that the ex went to school with. Now, the ex, and I are friends, and have been since about a week or so after the breakup, when he told me something along the lines of you never know what could happen, leading me to believe that maybe in the future we might have something. Currently, my husband and I are planning a separation and the ex knows. I saw him recently and i asked him why we broke up and he said, well the timing wasn't right. Is that a guy excuse? I am so totally confused right now, because the night i saw him, he was flirting, and we went outside to talk and got on the subject of not being hurt again, you never know what could happen, etc, and things physically felt awkward, so I said look if you want to kiss me, just kiss me, and he said in order for that to happen you would have to turn your head this way and i did and he kissed me. I before the kiss also asked him if the reason he kept in contact with my husband and me was because he was waiting for the day we (my husband and I) fell apart. His reply was that he wasn't going to admit that was the truth and he wasn't gonna say it wasn't. I have known him to be a pretty upfront guy, so this after the kiss is almost like an admission that or at least I think. I know we only dated for a month, but I have always wondered where we could have gone, and what might have been. I don't know what to think anymore and I am not gonna jump from my crappy marriage into him. Somebody, please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedandcrazy Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Maybe I should have been a little more clear on exactly what I needed help with in this situation. I am basically curious to try to figure out exactly what he wants out of a relationship, if he wants a relationship or whatever. I mean how do I know for sure, and is he even worth wasting my time with? I am just so confused right now, and I know deep down that a new relationship is the last thing i need. So, with all of that said, What do you all think about my situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I think that you should back off, let him make any moves that he feels comfortable with making. If in fact he is interested in anything other than friendship and occasional flirting, maybe he's testing the waters to make sure you won't be clingy, needy, and start to suffocate the relationship again. You're right when you say a new relationship is the last thing you need right now. Maybe take some time to figure out why your relationships keep ending and why you feel the end need to get involved with one right after ending another. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedandcrazy Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Thanks for the advice, right now i am kind of past the issue of does he like me or not, and I am focusing more on me, what I want to do, etc. But somehow or another he is kind of always in the back of my mind. Guys are difficult. I figure it this way, if he wants to call me, he will, so I'm not gonna call him. Now, for the will he call? My guess is probably. Maybe i'm wrong on that one too, but i still can't figure out why he is still hanging around. Got more important things to figure out than that though. Not obsessing here, but it hangs out in the back of my mind. Just thought y'all should know Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I didn't mean to come across that you were obsessing...however if it was something on your mind enough to ask for opinions here it must be something worthy of your energy, ect. I would say "yeah he'll probably call" but I have to ask you this........even if he does what will come of it? What will it accomplish? If you wish to pursue something with him then hang in there, but if you don't then just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedandcrazy Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 If he does call, i really don't know what it will accomplish, he can be really sweet when he wants to. It is kinda like a cat and mouse game with him, he gets all sweet talking about you never know what could happen, etc, and other days he can be a complete jerk which is usually when i call him, so i quit callin him, it is a pull me in push me away scenario. Again, if it happens it happens. I would like it to but I don't know where he is, and short of flat out asking him directly (though he would give me a very vague answer like maybe) I just wish I could read him better. He is a pretty no bs kind of guy and the way he stumbled across the question of why he was hanging around really makes me wonder if i am right. I can't make something happen, but i would like to know for sure if he is worth it, if he hopes for something to happen. (I wouldn't mind trying it again) Link to post Share on other sites
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