justagirl1121 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 I have this friend who i would consider my best friend. We met in college and we lived together for 2 years at school. the first of our two years were great. We did a lot of stuff together. Our senior year however, she seemed to go thru this phase. Different hairstyles, always had to have the attention. She'd also tell ME one thing and go tell someone else something completely dlifferent. Like, she would tell ME that I'm her BEST friend and we had to live together after we graduated but then she'd go tell someone else the same thing, and it really hurt my feelings! Or she'd tell me she hated something but tell someone else she loved it (because they did). She started dating someone and I think that might have had a tiny bit to do with it but she started being mean to me, going out with him and emily and trying to set her up with someone and they'd leave and ignore me and not tell me where they were going. This weird foreign kid kinda liked me i guess and i didn't return the feelings, and she would make all these comments and tease me about him, which is one thing, she did it with other boys, but she showed no mercy. She knew he kinda freaked me out a little (he was burning his fingers with cigs at the bar, talking about suicide attacks (9/11) and stuff like that. She would make comments to HIM though to, tell him what i liked, tell him to come talk to me, to ask me about certain things, and so on and when i tried to tell her it upset me and that she's my friend and should have my back she was totallly like "its not my responsibility its yours! if you just want to be frieends you need to tell him that!" yet when i would try or try to kind of avoid him they told me i was mean!!! but she would continue to push him on me and left me no choice!! then after we graduated, we didnt really talk or see each other for a while but all this year we see each other pretty much every weekend. But lately, for the last month or so, she's been changing back again. We'll all have plans and I'll call her to find out what exactly is going on and she wont call me back. or i'll text message her and she wont get back to me. or she'll answer and be like can i call u back later after dinner and she'll never call back. not until that nite when we're supposed to meet up. and it's really pissing me off. if we're such great friends and she's always like 'miss ya love ya call me!" then why doesnt she call ME ever or call me back?! I don't know what's going on with her, why she acts this way.... sometimes iwonder how much of what she says is true. i mean she does invite me out and picks me to do lots of things and we are trying to look to move out together but at the same time, she makes me feel bad. and if i am mad at her, like with the teasing thing, i can't be! she doesnt let me, she goes you love it, you love me, you're not mad! and wont let me confront her. im just so aggravated with things with life and work and right now i'm feeling as if i can't even turn towards her to talk about and im not sure how to bring these things up to her Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 It sounds like the friendship is wholly on her terms. You do the majority of the giving and get little back from her in return. She hangs out with you when she feels like it, she's good to you only when she wishes to be, she expects you to be there for her when she's had a bad day or doesn't have anything else to do. Is she truly a friend to you? In my opinion, she's not. She knowingly hurts your feelings time and again. It's one thing for her to make up stories to impress others, it's worse to view a person as a prop for themselves, which is what she is doing currently. It's up to you to decide if you want to confront her about her behavior or not. I think if you do, she'll have a ready excuse or will say, "I thought you cared about me," or ,"I was just joking around, you know I don't mean any of those things!." For now, stop calling her--let her be the one to call you for a change. Get out and make plans with your other friends, and don't drop your plans if she suddenly calls. If you're already having issues with the way she acts now, really reevaluate if you would want to live with her, where you would be on your own fully and have to pay for rent and utilities. Do you think she is responsible enough to deal with that, or would she just leave all the bills for you to handle? Link to post Share on other sites
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