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I'm free now what?


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Ok so I have broken off from a controlling abusive, alcoholic relationship, now what? If anyone has experience with being in a controlled relationship they will understand you lose most of your friends. Any friends left over are tired of the complications the relationship and what I had put them through trying to get out of it. So where do I go from here?

 

I am not only grieving the loss of a close relationship (having someone to do things with etc), I now have to deal with having no friends either. This is why I think many women go back to the abusive relationship (no support).

 

I have tried to go to all sorts of places: churches, weight loss groups etc but find they are pretty closed to new people in their small circles. Most women my age are married with small children or are in relationships (well estabished, family etc) I live in a reasonably small town, so there really isn't a lot to do on your own.

 

I am dying here, the loneliness is killing me.

 

What am I supposed to do? Does anyone know?

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Small town? no support groups like Al-anon or something similar? you need to be assured that you have done the VERY best thing possible by leaving such a toxic relationship.

 

Post more if you want..we're here for you :bunny::bunny::bunny:

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Rosalind, sounds like you know something I don't. Please let me know more....

 

Don't know how to get you a messege, hope this works, is this what your supposed to do on this site to reply to a carer.

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Women will return to these destructive relationships unless they receive help.

 

Google 'co-dependency', and see if this applies to you.

 

Good luck :)

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MWC_LifeBeginsAt40

I'm also newly single, although my circumstances are quite different, I am struggling with being alone. I spoke with a coworker and shot down every one of his suggestions with an excuse. But then I started thinking after reading the book He's Just Not That Into You. It actually has a section about your situtaion (abuse/alcoholism) and why you are better off without him.

 

I am going to take my butt to the library, get some books, hit the beach this weekend (alone) and read them all by myself. (I am not much of a book reader either). I'm going to get on my bike and go for a ride (the whole 4 miles around this little sleepy town). I'm going to go work out at the gym (alongside the other two people in the whole place). I'm gonna wash my car inside and out.

 

What about family? Can they be around for you? I have friends and family an hour away, but sometimes I just don't want to deal with this and them since they always ask so many questions. I'm going to try and enjoy being alone for a change (and try and stay OFF this *#( computer!

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