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Friend on Meth

Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 28th February 2018, 11:54 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
You should just walk away now. Who knows if she was even bipolar to begin with or just used that to mask her hard-drug use. Anyway, she's not doing herself any good and she's the only one who can change that. Just give yourself a break now and stop being available to her.
You speak the truth.

I experimented with meth at the age of 30 for the first time in my life and it was the worst two years of my life (looking back). I was in darkness (spiritually/emotionally) and the drug is like no other...

You trade a few hours of intense euphoria for days of constant fatigue, zero ambition, no sense of responsibility, paranoia, demonic hallucinations, psychosis (visual, auditory and tactile) lack of sleep, depression / bi-polar mania and anxiety attacks. (All these are reasons why addicts can't find or keep stable employment).

Many of these symptoms are the result of the drug habit mixed with poor sleep and the body just dealing with the poison you keep injecting yourself with but if the user is not honest with a mental health professional he'll simply be prescribed medication for the symptoms instead of trying to find a solution for the addiction.
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Old 1st March 2018, 12:57 AM   #17
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I'm truly sorry you are experiencing this.

I am not going to mess up this time. That's what I am working on now myself. Addiction is a beast. Depression or bi-polar or whatever else is coupled with it is a bad deal for her and you and her family.
I know you are hurting--but trust me, I am not sure you even know what she will be living with once she wakes up to what has happened in her life. I am not sure you want to be around to see her addiction...then she will have to spend more time on herself while she is recovering legally or which ever way she will have to...she still won't be able to give you what you need in order for her to make it right for you. I know this--in recovery, you should definitely leave her alone--passing judgement, and her avoiding her problems by self-medicating and if she feels guilty (oh trust me, any good human who sinks that low is going to feel wretched as they should for hurting others if you never did anything wrong to her--she will find torture those first few weeks/months realizing all she lost--although I think it wouldn't be a loss if some one was blabbing it all over the place instead of one time offering true help for someone you care about--that was the first thing I asked an ex of mine 5 years ago when he told me he was back on it--I immediately was concerned and scared--but not mad--I just truly wanted to know if he wanted help to stop doing it--he said he was happy and it shattered me, but...I should have kicked him out of my life then--and didn't and I must have lost over 10,000 through the years hoping he would stop--he finally did--not with me though), she could relapse or give up. You sound like you are just kind of...not a good person to her either--judge, or don't judge--stay or walk away--but bad people are bad people with or without drugs--you know what I am saying? You should get out of her life--let her deal with stuff on her own--she will realize shortly after you leave what she needs to do if you were really important and valuable in her life. Addicts hate judgement and loss more than's like the final blow in a knock out fight.
Would you post about your kid on here like that if it was your flesh and blood...or would you stand by and fight with them to get well?
Either help in a way that doesn't induce more trauma unless it is warranted--and it doesn't seem like she is homicidal--or get out of her life and quit being a righteous pain in the ...
My parents were addicts, so are all of us kids from them--but they all had gentle, loving, family support--forgiveness, and hope...we knew we would all have each other at the end of it--and reconciled and moved on--you are no friend to this woman either...and you have no idea what the heck you are dealing with, or even care to...or even care period. Violent offenders belong in jail--major therapy/rehab and support can restore that families situation--
I truly believe those methods work best based on her individual case from what you are saying--but the whole sharing with the kid--I don't know--I heard a cop say that once about "would you give it to your kid..." And look, now weed is legal in many places in the U.S.
And no. I would never give my child any in-prescribed drugs, don't even let him at his relatives homes anymore because they would use on occasion (my ex never seemed to mind if I dropped off my son at these places even though he knew what might happen there--and he was a straight jack a**, straight-laced).
Please just heal somewhere far away--you could have suffered way worse, like I did with my ex--lost money, my grades at school slipped, was stolen from/used/lied to/ cheated should get out now...she can't help you feel better right now anyways...maybe with you gone, she will understand better and fix things and make amends as long as it is warranted.
Some people don't need drugs to do messed up crap. Some people it takes a whole lot of bad stuff to happen in order for them to even think of doing something messed up to someone else. Sounds like she may be the latter and you the former. It's a touchy topic with me--I've seen the worst in people who are supposedly pure Christians in the world--completely wretched and evil people...and I have seen drug addicts with a heart of gold who feel deep remorse for hurting others and never do it again when cleaned's just sound like people I knew who judged my parents, then went out and made a living off of victimizing old people from their church...they were sicker than my parents ever were--and at least the addict has the hope of recovery--some sickness' can't be healed in people...some are just straight twisted either way...your friend can most likely change--but it will be a long road and will have to cut the b.s. out of her life that is dragging her down. Hope a miracle for all involved happens. Live well. Some people have trouble just doing that sometimes...enjoy your own life, mess free and drug free.
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Old 5th March 2018, 7:56 PM   #18
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Let me start by telling you that I am OCD (severely) and an Alcoholic/gambling addict in recovery. I have almost 4 years sober (november 2cnd will mark 4 years).

You will NOT be able to help your friend get sober unless she wants to get sober. What you can and need to do is understand that she is sick right now. Many of the things that she is doing and going to do, are because of her disease and addiction. The best thing you can do is start attending ALANON or NARANON. Look to talk with people who have been in similar positions as you and look for people who have attended ALANON/NARANO for years and are still active in the program.

You might also see if you can get an AA book for your friend and possibly a copy of the Bipolar workbook. I would also suggest that you read both as the more you understand what addiction/alcoholism and Bipolar are, the better prepared you will be to help her when the time comes.

You need to make certain you are NOT enabling her. She needs to hit bottom and hitting bottom might require her becoming homeless. It could potentially go further than that, it just depends on the person. She has to get fed up with where she is at and become willing to go to any length to get sober.

If you are close with her family/sister ask if there is anyway you can help them. If you can help with an intervention or anything. If your friend is willing to get sober and go to a rehab. Then I suggest these steps, if she has insurance call the insurance company and ask for a list of rehabs with in a 200-400 mile radius that are in network. You'll then need to narrow down that list and find a place that works for her. Any rehab you select should be capable of treating what's called dual diagnosis, that means treat her addiction and any mental illnesses she has.

Keep in mind that even with insurance the cost out of pocket is going to be substantial. The rehab I attended for 32 days, up front cost was $5000 paid the day I checked in. I then paid I believe another $2500 out of pocket and my insurance paid about $32,000. Now that was a luxury rehab in the Monterey area of California and they had a Chef, House keeping and other luxuries. There are rehabs that are much cheaper and more affordable.

If she has no insurance and the family cannot afford to pay $30,000+ to sent her to rehab for a month. The next step would be to contact your County/cities HHS (health and human services). They can help you find a "free" rehab that she can attend. But the waiting list for a bed at one of those places can be 6+ Months. Make sure what ever rehab is selected, that your friend can afford to do 30-60 days of treatment. If she gets kicked out after 2 weeks because of lack of funds, she will not stay sober. The shortest possible stay should be 31 days, but she could need 60-90 a day program.

All I can stress to you is get information information and more information. The better informed you are on these topics, the better you'll be able to help your friend. Please understand that your friend is going to do some really mean and selfish things in her addiction. All she can think about is the addiction and it's going to come front and center, nothing else will.
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