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Having a slight problem with my friend's mom...


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Old 24th January 2018, 11:18 AM   #1
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Having a slight problem with my friend's mom...

Hi.

I have two friends who I typically meet up with at least once a week. I'm going to call them Jane and Mary for privacy reasons.

We all get along good so that isn't the problem. But Mary's mother is the problem. Sometimes, Mary's mother comes up to Mary to tell her something and can't help but overhear what Jane and I are talking about. So Mary's mother joins in on our conversation.

But the thing is... I feel like Mary's mother does not like me at ALL. She constantly talks and ask Jane questions yet whenever I try to initiate conversation with her, she just looks at me, nods her head, and then shifts her full attention to Jane.

Am I doing something wrong?

All three of us are teenagers with me being the oldest, and Jane being the youngest. Could she be favoring Jane because she's the youngest of our group?

Am I overreacting or does Mary's mother not like me for some reason?
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Old 24th January 2018, 11:49 AM   #2
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Is Jane less assertive or talkative than you? It's possible that Mary's mom is attempting to draw her out and include her in the conversation.

If your interactions with Mary and Jane are positive and inclusive overall, I'd continue to be polite but shrug off her behavior. Sometimes people just have better rapport with certain individuals and tend to focus more on them.
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Old 24th January 2018, 11:51 AM   #3
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not everybody likes each other, no big deal

you could ask her, but might not get the answer you want, so unless you fix the bad/whatever point that she points out, accept that she does not like you, and be quietly glad that the situation is drama-free
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Old 24th January 2018, 11:54 AM   #4
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If your friend's mom really didn't like you she would not allow you in her home & she would be prohibiting her daughter from spending time with you

She probably doesn't realize she's doing it. Perhaps next time you go over there, you can try engaging the mom in a conversation first.
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Old 24th January 2018, 12:29 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by O'Malley View Post
Is Jane less assertive or talkative than you? It's possible that Mary's mom is attempting to draw her out and include her in the conversation.

If your interactions with Mary and Jane are positive and inclusive overall, I'd continue to be polite but shrug off her behavior. Sometimes people just have better rapport with certain individuals and tend to focus more on them.
Quite the contrary. Jane is very talkative and polite. If anyone has trouble opening up to people, it would be me. I mean, when I was younger, my shyness was much worse than what it is today. Even talking to strangers--my weakness--has become easier over the years.

Talking to my friends' mother always kinda freaks me out since I'm deathly afraid of saying something wrong that might deem me as "a bad example" to my friends. (I only feel this way with my friends who are younger than me. That's why I find it so easy to talk to my older friends.)
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Old 24th January 2018, 12:31 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
not everybody likes each other, no big deal

you could ask her, but might not get the answer you want, so unless you fix the bad/whatever point that she points out, accept that she does not like you, and be quietly glad that the situation is drama-free
I would honestly feel more comfortable if I didn't mention my problem to Mary's mother. I hate drama and arguments and I'm willing to just dismiss this little issue to keep the peace.
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Old 24th January 2018, 12:35 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
If your friend's mom really didn't like you she would not allow you in her home & she would be prohibiting her daughter from spending time with you

She probably doesn't realize she's doing it. Perhaps next time you go over there, you can try engaging the mom in a conversation first.
Yes, I'm willing to give Mary's mother the benefit of the doubt. There were many times where people thought my actions and words were said maliciously even though they weren't. And true. Even if Mary's mother doesn't talk to me as much as she does with Jane, she probably still likes me enough to allow me to spend time with Mary.
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Old 25th January 2018, 1:40 AM   #8
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Ask Mary if she's ever noticed her mother not engaging you in conversation. Mary probably has an idea of what is going on.
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