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After sex, he disappears!


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Met a guy through a friend. He's studying and working at the same, and the poor guy is usually tired and distant. We went out couple of times. On his good days, he's fun to be with. We enjoy each other's company. Last week, we ended up with sex.

 

I have very strong feelings for him. The maternal instinct came flooding - the need to make him better, the make him laugh, to protect him.. It's weird. Never felt this way before.

 

Anyway, he stopped contacting me after that. I buzzed him couple of time on MSN, and he replied, saying he's too tired or busy with school work and work. Looking back, he's never really initiate any conversation.

 

I need some honest opinion here, is it just sex he's looking for? I miss him terribly, though.

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What is it that you miss? He didn't initiate any conversation, he was tired and distant - he sounds like a drag.

 

But anyway, if he's that busy w/ school and work, he's maybe just not interested in a relationship and might have really picked up on your desire to mother/protect/help him and he just wasn't into it. Hate to say it but not too many guys will turn down sex so it seems he's just not looking for the same thing as you. Sorry.

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Yep... Just sex... And since you've turned him into a 'project' by viewing him maternally', it'll be even easier for him to twist your vision and accomplish just that...

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jen_jen_heartbroken
Originally posted by Playmate

We went out couple of times. Last week, we ended up with sex.

 

That's the first problem. NEVER have sex until you REALLY know someone and have had the "exclusivity talk". Any guy who is interested in you for other things BESIDES sex will wait until the time is right. Stop lowering your standards.

 

Anyway, he stopped contacting me after that. ......... he replied, saying he's too tired or busy with school work and work.

 

Of course he stopped contacting you. He got what he wanted and now he's moving on to the next score.

 

is it just sex he's looking for?

 

Yes. I'm sorry, but this was nothing more than a booty call.

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When you say you got all maternal on him.. IMO that could be part of the problem..

 

Most Guys IMO while they may like a Woman who does things for them, they don't want to feel that the Woman is A) Protecting them.. Guys usually like to be the one who is the protecter and B) Don't want to feel that thier Girl is being a Mom to them.. they already have one.. and for real who wants to sleep with thier Mom right?!

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That certainly put things into perspective. And jen_jen_heartbroken, views appreciated, and the sex part was great. Wouldn't miss it for the world :) It's nothing about lowering the standard, merely carpe diem.

 

Guess I'll move on to the next project. Thanks guys!

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I'm just going by what you posted on here (I can be wrong), it seems as either 1. You are smothering him or 2. He just wants sex.

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Originally posted by ~Naive~

it seems as either 1. You are smothering him or 2. He just wants sex.

 

Hey Naive, Maybe he wants to be smothered, and the sex! I think you guys are right!

 

I'm moving on!

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