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How did your best friend become your ex-best friend?


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I am asking this question in regards to a best friend losing interest in you or contacting you less to hang out or chat with. I have known my best friend for many years and a year ago I moved closer to him so that we could hang out more often, but that hasn't been the case. He is married and has a 2 year old daughter now. I am the opposite (not married, no girlfriend, and no children). I can understand his daughter and wife taking up a lot of his time, as well as his full time job. We don't chat everyday and sometimes several days may pass in between conversations. Most of the time when I ask him if he wants to get together, he can't. He also does not invite me to hang out as often. Even though he lives 20 minutes away, I usually only see him in person every 1-2 months. I feel like we're living two different lifestyles, and thus I feel him somewhat drifting away. Does anyone have a similar story? If so, what is the current status of your friendship?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Divorce.

 

My BFF became my sister in law when I got married, and when we divorced, our friendship suffered greatly. It still hurts to think about it. :( We are still friends on Facebook....I've known her and her whole huge family since I was 12.....but we are no longer "in real life" friends.

 

I had another very close friendship end after the divorce too. She was friends with my ex-H before she was friends with me, and it just became awkward I guess, and I also played a part because I really pulled away from everyone during that time.

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This pretty much describes all my husband's friendships. Despite not seeing them so often, he still refers to them as best friends.

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Most people with a spouse, a job and kids literally don't have enough time for any of those things. So if they have extra time, they put it there. It is a sucky situation for a friend, and believe me I sympathize, but that's real life. My best friend lives 5 minutes from me and I see her once every 3 months maybe. She's frantically running all the time. I myself have two jobs so I do get it. But my friends are one notch higher on my priority list than someone with kids. She does at least include me on some holidays, which is sweet. She does what she can.

 

Try your best to start new hobbies, activities, sports, join a softball or bowling league and just try to make new acquaintances to hang out with.

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My "best friend" since I was 12 is still my best friend.

 

But we hardly ever see each other despite living close by. We talk only occasionally.

 

We have a shared history, an understanding that none of our other friends can match.

 

As for your circumstance, I don't contact any of my friends that often - and the ones popping out babies? Some of which I have literally not seen since the birth.

 

They are busy raising kids, I am busy with my career and "adult" social life. They don't go to concerts, and cocktail bars, and week day nights out like we all used to - and I still do. Their lives are full with family stuff. And mine is full with my husband, career, hobbies and social life.

 

I still love them, and we still count on each other for support, but the days of hanging out on a whim are long gone.

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