What’s the definition of a Best Friend?

[ItsameMaria]

My very best friend of 16 years has been making really poor decisions lately. I mean really bad. Cheating, leaving with drug dealers after partying, just being a hot mess. So after 12 years of listening to her bitch and moan about her current relationship, 8 years of complaing about her living situation and never once making a positive change, I finally snapped and told her I can’t listen to it anymore. All the complianing is based off of terrible choices she’s made. Her stance is I’m her BFF and should happily nod at all these things. She completely shuts down when you tell her (and she realizes you’re right) that she’s doing something wrong. So I snapped and said I can’t listen to it anymore. Every decision she makes is a poor one. I’m pretty aure our friendship is over but I couldn’t sit back and listen to all the problems she’s created from her immaturity and lack of motivation to better anything about her life. Was I too harsh? Should I have merrily and happily listened to her mess for a life for forever? We grew at different rates and I knew it was a matter of time before this came out of me.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My very best friend of 16 years has been making really poor decisions lately. I mean really bad. Cheating, leaving with drug dealers after partying, just being a hot mess. So after 12 years of listening to her bitch and moan about her current relationship, 8 years of complaing about her living situation and never once making a positive change, I finally snapped and told her I can’t listen to it anymore. All the complianing is based off of terrible choices she’s made. Her stance is I’m her BFF and should happily nod at all these things. She completely shuts down when you tell her (and she realizes you’re right) that she’s doing something wrong. So I snapped and said I can’t listen to it anymore. Every decision she makes is a poor one. I’m pretty aure our friendship is over but I couldn’t sit back and listen to all the problems she’s created from her immaturity and lack of motivation to better anything about her life. Was I too harsh? Should I have merrily and happily listened to her mess for a life for forever? We grew at different rates and I knew it was a matter of time before this came out of me.

 

You probably shouldn't have "snapped," but you did the right thing. Best friends hold each other accountable and tell them when they're screwing up. And you have every right to cut toxic people out of your life who are only stressing you out.

[halleysinvestigation]

My very best friend of 16 years has been making really poor decisions lately. I mean really bad. Cheating, leaving with drug dealers after partying, just being a hot mess. So after 12 years of listening to her bitch and moan about her current relationship, 8 years of complaing about her living situation and never once making a positive change, I finally snapped and told her I can’t listen to it anymore. All the complianing is based off of terrible choices she’s made. Her stance is I’m her BFF and should happily nod at all these things. She completely shuts down when you tell her (and she realizes you’re right) that she’s doing something wrong. So I snapped and said I can’t listen to it anymore. Every decision she makes is a poor one. I’m pretty aure our friendship is over but I couldn’t sit back and listen to all the problems she’s created from her immaturity and lack of motivation to better anything about her life. Was I too harsh? Should I have merrily and happily listened to her mess for a life for forever? We grew at different rates and I knew it was a matter of time before this came out of me.

 

You are not too harsh, in fact, you are a listener and a very patient individual.

We all have our limits to which we can tolerate things and i guessed you have hit your own limit, you shouldn't have to listen to her ''mess'' forever, no one deserves to be subjected to that kind of thing all in the name of friendship, offer your advise, and if she comes around - fine, if not, then life goes on.

[iVisa]

I know something about people like her. They grumble and grumble all the time. It's really hard to listen to it. You should put up walls, but it doesn't mean your relationship is over.