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How to meet new friends


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Old 14th November 2017, 12:13 PM   #1
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How to meet new friends

I have lived in a big city for about 6 years now and early on made some friends with my roommate at the time, and at least once a year several of them would move away, then I dated a girl for 2 years and we made some new friends and we broke up last year and because of friend politics she took all the friends. So here I am a 30 year old guy without any friends. I work from home and am very busy with my job so am busy from the moment I wake up to when I'm done at night, and then I'm just worn out.

I've looked online for ways for people who work from home to meet new people and a lot of suggestions were to work at a coffee shop, but I can't do that since I have to run a lot of important phone calls and webex sessions and couldn't risk having the background noise, not to mention the extremely sensitive information that would be on my screen.

I've joined groups on Meetup.com and go to one at least once or twice a month but the people who show up to those are either tourists just visiting, only temporarily living in the city, or live about an hour away. So I haven't met anyone who I could try to be friends with there.

Nobody from my college lives in this city, and my old roommate from when I first moved here is now married and moved away. My only coworker in this city is my boss who is twice my age and married with a kid.

Let me know any suggestions you have.

Thanks
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Old 14th November 2017, 12:15 PM   #2
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Another clarification. I'm fun to hang out with, but am so busy with work and fairly disconnected from other people by working at home that I am no longer good at finding new people to be friends with and make plans with. So when I had a roommate or had a girlfriend it was easier because they had a lot of free time and were good about meeting people and bringing them in and I would be able to meet them and we'd get along and become friends. But doing it on my own has been a challenge. So I have been friendless since last year, which is crazy to think that it's almost a full year now.
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Old 14th November 2017, 12:25 PM   #3
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Go to a bar & watch a Yankees game. Talk to other fans.

Do you have any hobbies? Join a group that is into what you are into.

Volunteer somewhere -- Fire Department; Moose, Kiwanis, Elks etc.; clean cages at an animal shelter; serve on the board of a charity.

Join a gym. Play on a co-ed sports team.

You have to put more then 1-2 days per month into your quest for friends.
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Old 14th November 2017, 2:56 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Go to a bar & watch a Yankees game. Talk to other fans.

Do you have any hobbies? Join a group that is into what you are into.

Volunteer somewhere -- Fire Department; Moose, Kiwanis, Elks etc.; clean cages at an animal shelter; serve on the board of a charity.

Join a gym. Play on a co-ed sports team.

You have to put more then 1-2 days per month into your quest for friends.
The groups I joined are the ones that are around my hobbies and that is just how often they hold them, so if I wanted to find more groups to go to I would need to find new hobbies, but what.


How do you make friends at a gym? The gym I go to is very crowded so I don't go that often because everything is always being used. I don't feel like I could stand there and start a conversation with someone who was using a machine I wanted to use.

I joined a rockclimbing gym, but can only do the solo bouldering because you have to bring your own friend to belay you, so that is a solo activity as well. So I'm interested to hear more about how to spark up conversations or meet new people at a regular gym.

The co-ed sports teams they have for young people are on weeknights around 6 and I am not off work in time to go, so I've had to scratch that one off the list.

Going to a bar sounds like a good idea but I guess I've been too shy to make friends there when going by myself since everyone else is always in groups of 3 or more.
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Old 14th November 2017, 3:19 PM   #5
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I'm not good at making friends at the gym. I'm insecure at the gym & don't want to talk to people.

In a bar I can talk to anybody.

When you want to make your social life a priority, you will. That may mean rearranging your schedule. Find a team that meets later or on Saturdays.
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