inhighwater Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 Need some more advice. Names are changed for privacy. Please keep in mind this has nothing to do with his female friend that I talked about in one of my other posts. This is about a girl, Jenny, whom he has know for quite a while that has had a crush on him for sometime. Harry use to work with her mother whom he thinks of as a big sister and he thinks of Jenny as a little sister. Jenny is just a senior in high school. Harry has given her advice about things in life to protect her from the bad things. Well, Jenny just rebels again anything he says. So basically Harry got to the point that he told Jenny if she wanted to live her life that way then so be it it was her life and she will face the concrete when she comes crashing down. See Jenny is dating this guy that treats everyone like dirt. This guy has called Jenny's mother up on the phone and threatened Jenny's mom that she would not see Jenny ever again if she didn't back off. Harry is afraid that one of these days, this guy is going to treat Jenny like dirt and God knows what else he would do to her. Harry came home the other day and was aggravated. I asked him what the matter was. He said Jenny called me. And I said to Harry, "And what is the problem with Jenny calling you?" Harry said, "I was busy trying to get some things down and I told Jenny I was busy and she just kept yacking and yacking. She asked me if I was married now? and I said yes and asked why her mom and the family did not come to the wedding? Jenny said that she thought it was two days before our wedding day. Jenny went on to ask me if I lived with my wife? I said, yes. Then Jenny said, "Oh!" then Jenny continued on to say, "You and your wife live at your mom's house?" I said, "No." I bought my own house. Then Jenny said at the end of our conversation that she was just calling to tell me that after graduation that she is moving in with her boyfriend. Harry said, I was busy and she knew that cause I told her and all she wanted was to tell me that she was going to be moving in with her boyfriend. Harry then said, "I just told Jenny, "It's your life do whatever you want." Harry said, "She knows I don't like the way that guy treats everyone. So why would she call me to tell me that she is moving in with him?" Harry had told me a few weeks earlier that Jenny had got ahold of him just to tell him that she lost her virginity to this guy she is dating. Harry was like and why does she think I should know this or want to even know if when I don't like the way this guy treats everyone? Anyone have an advice on why Jenny is contacting Harry to tell him all of this stuff? Does she still have a crush on Harry and think that it is going to make him jealous? Harry told Jenny a long time ago that nothing would ever happen between them that they would always just be friends. Or is she just trying to get back at Harry like maybe the way she is too with her mother because they all don't like this guy? Like she is trying to throw it in their face. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 7, 2005 Share Posted June 7, 2005 They say that 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with' - but that doesn't change the fact that she loves the one she can't be with. Sounds like she doesn't want to let go. You may want to consider advising Harry that continuing to take her calls and tolerating this is only enabling her to keep doing it. He needs to make his break from her so that he can move on with his life, and she hers. Sometimes a friendship isn't really worth holding on to - particularly when one 'friend' has a lot more than friendship in mind - or when the 'friendship' takes on an annoying or unwelcome turn. When your 'friends' start bringing down your other relationships, its time to reconsider just how important it is to keep someone around that is a liability. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted June 7, 2005 Author Share Posted June 7, 2005 Harry has even gotten down right nasty and short with Jenny. She does not get a clue. Unfortuately, do to the fact of all the stuff Harry is involved in it's almost impossible for him to change cell phone numbers. So many very important people in our area have his number. And when she calls him she as I understand it calls from all kinds of different numbers that he doesn't know. But because of the fact that someone very important may be calling him with a number that he does not know, he has to answer all his calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 Names are changed for privacy: I am so sick of Teenage immaturity. I'm not talking about kids in their early teens. I'm talking about kids that are 18 years of age or very close to it. I am for teenagers having fun and having a good time but when it comes down to trying to start trouble in a marriage or even a relationship. That is SO wrong and SO immature. Here is an update on the situation with Jenny. We have not heard from Jenny since she called Harry with all the questions about him being married, now. Now, instead of us having to deal immature teenage Jenny, we are having to deal with her immature teenage friends. My husband, Harry, and I went shopping one evening this weekend. We were in a very popular shopping center in our small community. We got to our car and Harry was trying to unlock his door so that he could unlock my door. We are still outside the car and we hear a voice from a short distance yelling out Harry's name. It was a teenage girl in the passengers seat of the car parked diagonally across from our parked car. She was in a car with another teenage girl and a teenage guy. They had been talking with two teenage girls in the car straight accross from them when we walked up to our car. Well, the teenage girl that yelled out Harry's name said something to him but I could not make it all out. Harry and I got into our car and before I could get a word out, Harry says, "What was that all about?" And I said to Harry, "I couldn't hear everything she said." Harry said, "She asked me if she could tell Jenny that I (from Harry) said hi (to Jenny)." Of course the whole time this teenage girl was trying to talk to Harry, he kept giving her funny looks like "who are you and what was that all about". I told Harry, "Why would she need to do that when you know how to get ahold of her if you wanted to say hi." Harry said, "That's what I was thinking." Harry and I both said the teenage girl could be trying to be nice but we also both said that she could be up to no good, too. We thought it was a very unusal question for a person to ask someone. Harry said he didn't recongize the teenage girl at first when she yelled his name but after she said Jenny's name, he remembered that Jenny may have brought her into his old work once with her but he didn't remember her name or even if he was told her name. Remember Harry use to work with Jenny's mom at his old work. Rumors get spread very easily thru our small community and Harry is a very highly respected man. I just hope these kids are not up to something stupid that could hurt Harry's rep. I'm not worried at all about our marriage cause I know where we both stand and also Jenny was told by Harry a long time ago, before Harry and I met, that nothing would ever happen between Harry and her and that they would only just be friends. There for a while Harry and I did have some communications problems but we are working that out and everything is going great! What are these teenagers up to? Any advice is greatly appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 Any comments or advice? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 First, try ignoring them: as in they are invisible to you. Then, if you get harassed or singled out by them in public, you'll need to single one out and make a hard example of her. They have to be scared in order for you to be left alone. Next time this happens, walk up to them with your husband. Have you husband tell her in a calm voice that he does not care to know what she wants to tell him about Jenny, and for her to leave him and his wife alone. If they persist, find out one of their names and parent's names and let them know the next contact will be with the parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 At 18 they are legally responsible for their actions. Am I correct? And what if they don't live at home anymore cause they graduated high school this year? Is talking with the parents going to really do anything then? Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 Names are changed for privacy: We are getting Harry's cell number changed. We are just going to have to deal with the fact of having to update everyone on the new number. He needs a new cell phone anyways and with a new phone and new plan he will get a new number. I did not want to let a teen control my husband and I's lives but I guess we will have to do the best we can to stop the immature teenage games. This should permanently stop Jenny from calling Harry. Now, what to do about her teenage friends bothering Harry in public. That's another story! Link to post Share on other sites
Author inhighwater Posted July 26, 2005 Author Share Posted July 26, 2005 Names are changed for privacy: We didn't go with a new cell phone nor a new plan which means no new phone number. The guy whom we were dealing with on the cell phones kept changing prices (I don't know maybe the guy was getting confused.) But the good news is that as far as I am aware of there has been no word from Jenny and so far no problems with her friends bothering him or us that I am aware of. I'm assuming they must have got the clue finally. I'm starting to wonder if her friend that yelled out that stuff to Harry, whether she was ever told that he was engaged and now married or that he was even seeing anyone at all. Less work we have to do to let people know about the new phone number. Thanks to everyone that gave me advice. Smile!! Link to post Share on other sites
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