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What to say to a friend when her boyfriend is behaving badly?


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Old 13th September 2017, 10:04 PM   #16
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I even try not to look at them so I won't give a wrong impression.

Girl, this isn't about your eyes, your breasts are looking at them. That is how it works. Women don't get fake boobs so men notice their eyes.......

How come your boyfriend is never around if you're so hot?
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Old 13th September 2017, 10:36 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by janellel View Post
I can appreciate what some of you are saying, but I honestly can't see how I'm giving off the wrong vibe. I don't say anything to them or flirt with them. I even try not to look at them so I won't give a wrong impression. I just walk in the room and eventually they start hitting on me, one by one. I will usually just graciously say 'thank you' to their first compliment, and then I try to take the conversation elsewhere, but they always steer it back to the topic of my body and do I really like my bf.

I've come to the conclusion that that's just how men are. They see a hot chick and apparently then all their thinking is done with their penis. At least that's been my experience since getting cosmetic surgery. I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it other than perhaps dressing like a nun, or wearing a burka. I just can't understand why women have the tendency to blame the girl for it. I myself would blame my bf for his own actions.
This isn't just about eye contact or flirting. It's about 'working it'. It's the way you walk, the way you talk, your posture, a general attitude thing. You feel like you're hot stuff and it shows through your body language....and the guys pick up on it.

If you don't like the attention you're getting, then turn off the hot attitude.
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Old 14th September 2017, 2:11 PM   #18
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How come your boyfriend is never around if you're so hot?


In the hospital –– they're trying to figure out why he has a perma-erection and and has become uncontrollably, continuously orgasmic. Poor guy. And poor janellel. Imagine never being able to find a guy who can control himself long enough to get undressed and have intercourse. Can you imagine how that doctor feels for having created such a creature... like a God. Cleopatra is so yesterday now.
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Old 14th September 2017, 2:27 PM   #19
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They probably hit on you because they know external validation means a lot to you and are just being nice.
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Old 14th September 2017, 2:36 PM   #20
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They probably hit on you because they know external validation means a lot to you and are just being nice.
I do wonder about this. I mean, I have no problem with plastic surgery. Heck, if thousands of dollars dropped out of the sky I might go for a smaller nose lol. But if you had several things done, then I would assume you want validation for your outward appearance (and no, that is not necessarily bad).

Compliments are one thing, but crude remarks are out of bounds.

I've had that happen maybe twice. I actually told the man that I was offended by what he said and that he should cut it out or I would b e speaking to my friend. He backed off.

And how can there be a he said she said with touching> If they go in for a tickle, say loudly, please stop tickling me.

I'd also have a talk with your girlfriends. Just tell them how upset you are that they seems to be pulling back and ask them if they see a vibe from you. They may be picking up on something you aren't aware of.
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Old 15th September 2017, 1:01 AM   #21
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This isn't just about eye contact or flirting. It's about 'working it'. It's the way you walk, the way you talk, your posture, a general attitude thing. You feel like you're hot stuff and it shows through your body language....and the guys pick up on it.

If you don't like the attention you're getting, then turn off the hot attitude.
I get what you're saying, but I'd have no idea how to do that. I mean, how can you not have a "hot attitude" when guys are always hitting on you, and you know what you see in the mirror? So given the circumstances, I can't help but feel like I'm hot stuff. Wouldn't you feel the same way if guys were always hitting on you?

However, I do try to be humble and not let it get to my head. After all, looks are just temporary and in no way are a measure of your character or worth.

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Compliments are one thing, but crude remarks are out of bounds.

I've had that happen maybe twice. I actually told the man that I was offended by what he said and that he should cut it out or I would b e speaking to my friend. He backed off.
That is exactly how I feel as well. I don't mind a compliment or two. In fact, I like them. When they first compliment me, I feel good about it, because of the "validation" as you put it.

But after the first gracious compliment or two, I notice them getting cruder and cruder, and I really start getting uncomfortable, particularly when their gfs are right there. I'm truly shocked that they would even have audacity to do that.

As far as talking to my friends is concerned, I have tried reconciling with them afterwards, but the results haven't been good. Once their bfs have hit on me, they seem to have such a consuming jealousy and hatred for me that it seems useless. But none of them have mentioned any "vibes". Usually, their main complaint is how I dress, which quickly descends to blatant "slut shaming".
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Old 15th September 2017, 11:14 AM   #22
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Why don't you start loudly telling the men who do something inappropriate, "They're not for you!"
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